I totally agree.  The guys who are only "into" transwomen aren't my cup of tea either.  The fetish aspect scares me.   

Angelique   Don't sweat the small stuff. It's all small stuff. Be patient. You're a winner. You will find the person that you share mutual respect. Maybe these people see your fear and choose you for a temporary fling. Work on your confidence girl. The most successful women know they can be picky. They know they are beautiful. Hey you're beautiful. Don't be easy.

CIS women get compared to other CIS women all the time. Guys can be jerks when the want to be.

Any guy would be lucky to be with you. Guys are not complicated and can be lead by the nose. They sniff out insecurities and are not attracted to them. Conversely, they are drawn to secure, happy women. If you present a secure woman to them, they will say wow this woman is confident and has good reason to be. Then they believe what you are presenting. If you present fear and insecurities, they will subconsciously ask themselves, hmmm I see a beautiful, lovely woman. But if she is so insecure about my past women and how she compares....maybe she knows better than I and I am missing something about her that is lacking?! It's all psychology and we can outsmart them. Also, you have so much to offer. You're the woman I wouldnt want to have my man be comparing me to. 😊 For real. I have gone down the same rabbit hole you have. I had my bf asking his friends what could be wrong with me because I was so insecure. He started questioning his own judgment, because I presented an insecure woman. Oh, humans 🙃

If I were into guys, I would actually prefer to be with one who has dated a trans girl before. I would fear a trans panic style attack too much to be a guys first trans girl.

Quote from: Daisy Jane on March 12, 2017, 11:47:52 AM
If I were into guys, I would actually prefer to be with one who has dated a trans girl before. I would fear a trans panic style attack too much to be a guys first trans girl.

ive been with many guys who never dated a transgender. No attacks happened.

I never thought about this.... it makes sense though. This is kind of why I date bisexual guys only, because I know they can't really compare when they dated both men and women. 

I don't care, too much, how the guy views me... as long as he knows I'm the feminine one, I'm okay. If in his mind he thinks I'm a guy but a feminine guy who is transgender, I'm okay. When he thinks I'm masculine guy dressed like a woman, that's not going to be a relationship. lol. Life is too short, and dating potentials are far and slim.... so I'll accept a lot of things *except stds, height*. I don't feel feminine with guys near my height or shorter.... *that's a cisgender woman issue too lol*. I think it applies to guys too, because they tend to be more masculine around me if they are taller.... whereas shorter guys tend to treat me as "pal" or something.

I will dump a guy in a second if he is being mean to me.

I don't ever consider a relationship as being forever, and I have no expectations of it being so... I'm used to being alone now.

----
But yeah, I think it's unrealistic too be honest. And don't take this the wrong way... but have you consider that because you are the first... it's just an experiment for the guy with no intensions of ever being in a relationship in the first place. It's like credit score, if you never had a credit card... can I really trust you with this house loan with no credit number?

Quote from: ainsley on March 08, 2017, 03:14:00 PM
Yea, that is exactly what i was saying.  No guy would say that to a cis girl.
I feel for ya.  That sux.

Actually, they do. Commonly.

Quote from: ChristineRachel on March 09, 2017, 10:28:22 AM
If they start comparing you to past exs that is very low.
Do guys do this to cis girls??
Thinking they can tell you how your body should be? A good hard slap :@

Yes, they do. This was the crux of a speech at a domestic violence conference I was at last month.

And ciswomen often do it to cismen too.

"You don't hold a candle to my ex because of X,Y,Z" is pretty standard fare. Hurtful by design, but not unusual.

This is not a gendered approach method of putting someone down, and those on the receiving end are far from exclusively trans.

But I found straight guys compare us with cis girl
Believe it or not no matter how feminine you are ( I start transition when I was 18 )
But dating straight guy with no trans past experience scary me a lot
What worst than comparing you to another trans girl is comparing you to cis girl

I'm very confused that it doesn't happen with you
That why I feel comfortable dating someone who is bi or pan

Straight guys will compare your height , look , breast size even your hand size to their ex cis girlfriends
Or at least this happens with arabs guys lol I will never date Arab guys tho they're bad with women in general

But this what I found straight guys comparing you so they don't feel their masculinity and manhood whatever it is in danger dating you
( if you was their first timer )

Honestly I had the opposite problem than you
Idk if it's because western guys are different than eastern ones
But yeah even I'm feminine and everyone thinks that I'm straight girl unless I said that I'm bi straight guys are not my cup of tea lol

Quote from: rose on March 13, 2017, 02:37:14 PM
But I found straight guys compare us with cis girl
Believe or not no matter how feminine you are ( I start transition when I was 18 )
But dating straight guy with no trans past experience scary me a lot
What worst than comparing you to another trans girl is comparing you to cis girl

I'm very confused that it doesn't happen with you
That why I feel comfortable dating someone who is bi or pan

Straight guys will compare your height look breast size even your hand size to their ex cis girlfriends
Or at least arabs lol I will never date Arab guys tho they're bad with women in general

But this what I found straight guys comparing you so they don't feel their masculinity and manhood whatever it is in danger dating you
( if you was their first timer )



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ive just never experienced straight guys comparing me to cis girls because they are happy with my looks. The guys who have dated transgenders seem to never be happy with me until I cheat on them or break up with them, then they want to tell me how much they loved me and how they saw a future with me.

Quote from: Angélique LaCava on March 13, 2017, 02:40:49 PM
ive just never experienced straight guys comparing me to cis girls because they are happy with my looks. The guys who have dated transgenders seem to never be happy with me until I cheat on them or break up with them, then they want to tell me how much they loved me and how they saw a future with me.

Hmm very interesting [emoji848] I should date western guys then xD

As I said I can't put a judgement yet because the type of guys around me now are not relationships materials
And bad with women in general
That why my experience with them was like that

Quote from: rose on March 13, 2017, 02:48:10 PM
Hmm very interesting [emoji848] I should date western guys then xD

As I said I can't put a judgement yet because the type of guys around me now are not relationships materials
And bad with women in general
That why my experience with them was like that

western guys? Lol. The guys I date arnt country, some act very city like. Everywhere there are guys who treat woman badly and men who arnt relationship material. I've met many. I mean I've been on dates/had sex with 80 guys and only 10 kept dating me.

Quote from: Angélique LaCava on March 13, 2017, 02:54:27 PM
western guys? Lol. The guys I date army country, some act very city like. Everywhere there are guys who treat woman badly and men who arnt relationship material. I've met many. I mean I've been on dates/had sex with 80 guys and only 10 kept dating me.

Oh I understood that explains why

I have nothing more to say about this subject because I don't have tolerate to date this kind of guys tbh [emoji38]

But yeah if guy compare you to ANYONE else he is pass [emoji1310]

So I actually made plans tomorrow with a guy who has hooked up with a transgender before; originally I rejected him, but then I changed my mind and told him I'll give him a chance and he said let's go out tomorrow and I said what happened to tonight and he said because I made other plans then I said that I wanted to go out tonight so i don't change my my mind and he said well this way you can. Idk what to think with that response. Almost makes me think he's not interested anymore and if he stands me up tomorrow it's going to destroy me and make me think I wasn't good enough but the other transgender was.

Do y'all think I messed up and he's not interested anymore?

I'm already trying to convince myself to just break it off.

At first I thought your view was a bit extreme but reading on, it does make a heck of a lot of sense. I agree completely. Trans or not, one should not be comparing their current partner with past partners. Its completely rude to compare past partners.

No. no. no Angelique just get rid of that attitude. First you're incredibly lovely. The fact you share your stories with the likes of us, is proof how much you care. Don't sell yourself short. If it don't work out, It's lesson learned and you go to the next opportunity. There are almost 7.5 billion people on earth and you've barely skimmed the surface of your own back yard. You will, find the love of your life. Just be patient, have fun and enjoy life for the gift it is.

Dawn

Quote from: DawnOday on March 13, 2017, 11:24:44 PM
No. no. no Angelique just get rid of that attitude. First you're incredibly lovely. The fact you share your stories with the likes of us, is proof how much you care. Don't sell yourself short. If it don't work out, It's lesson learned and you go to the next opportunity. There are almost 7.5 billion people on earth and you've barely skimmed the surface of your own back yard. You will, find the love of your life. Just be patient, have fun and enjoy life for the gift it is.

Dawn

if he stands me up that dosnt mean the other transgender was better than me right? Because he just not acting interested, he's reading my txt msgs and dosnt respond unless I put "" An hour or 2 later.

Quote from: Angélique LaCava on March 14, 2017, 10:45:55 AM
if he stands me up that dosnt mean the other transgender was better than me right? Because he just not acting interested, he's reading my txt msgs and dosnt respond unless I put "" An hour or 2 later.

If he stands you up, it's his loss not yours. Use the time it gives you to do something that makes you happy. Relationships are a crapshoot at best. Over 50,% of marriages end in divorce. Don't be needy. Guys pick up on that and that is when the abuse starts. Cis woman, trans women all women are subjected to this. Grow some self confidence and a higher sense of respect for yourself. Good luck. We are all here for you.
Dawn

Quote from: rose on March 13, 2017, 03:03:03 PM
Oh I understood that explains why

I have nothing more to say about this subject because I don't have tolerate to date this kind of guys tbh [emoji38]

But yeah if guy compare you to ANYONE else he is pass [emoji1310]

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Ignore him don't accept bull->-bleeped-<-s from guys
I mean we're fabulous
[emoji19] unless he is very handsome with six packs that kind of attitude is not ok