hey Caroline

good to meet you
Is always great to meet another person from Oz

I am glad you have found Susans, it is a wonderful & supportive place to visit.
I am really sorry to hear about your marriage - one of those rotten cases of damned if you do and damned if you don't

One good thing that came out of all the awfulness - you know you have one good friend IRL. That has got to be more precious than diamonds. Here you will find heaps of them

and ones that know exactly the pain you are experiencing

.
When you read the postings you will see that your situation is not uncommon - thou in your case the effect was more stark than for others here. If I could offer any advice it would be to go for counselling, it helped me heaps and in all sorts of ways.
I hope we hear more from you and if you want, you are always most welcome to message me (when you are able) or email me
regards
rana