Hi Shadow! I'm glad you're doing well. And that you found a good GYNO. That's going to be a challenge for us where we live. We're gonna try to find one before we leave for the surgery. It's all very overwhelming right now. So many forms to fill out and tests to take in a short amount of time. But it's comforting to hear how your experience is positive. I'm hoping the best for you. And thanks for sharing your story.

Hi ShadowCharms, thank you so much for your post-op description of surgery with McGinn, and also your pre-op tips!  My daughter is scheduled for surgery with McGinn in a few weeks, so it's always nice to read a recent experience.

As a mom and caregiver, of course my concerns are different to those of my daughter.  I was wondering if your mom would be interested in giving her perspective and any tips she might have for me, and other caregivers such as @marctravis.

It was interesting that there was a bed for your mom in your hospital room.  I'm wondering if I'm going to wind up doing that, or staying at the hotel (close to the hospital) for those few days.  What was the deciding factor for your mom to stay at the hospital?  Did she have anything to do with actually taking care of you physically, or did the hospital staff do that?  Did you *want* her in your room all that time, or did you want some privacy?

After release from the hospital we're not staying at Gaia, as it's out of our budget for two rooms.  We found a hotel about 30 minutes away where I've booked us a room with 2 queen beds, plus a fridge and microwave and free breakfast.

My mom seems pretty open to communicating with other caregivers. We met a few other moms who were there with their daughters, and they all kind of formed a mini support group for each other over text messages. If one of their kids was having a problem, they would text the others to see if their daughters were having the same problem. I think my mom would probably be open to communicating with you prior to your daughter's surgery, but I will double check with her.

We didn't expect the hospital to have a bed for my mom. When I had my facial surgery, the hospital pretty much just gave my mom an uncomfortable chair to sleep in. We had a hotel room near the hospital based on our assumption that my mom would need to go back there to sleep. When we realized that my mom could sleep at the hospital, she just decided to do that. I think she just wanted to be close by.

Our initial perception had been that I would need a lot of care from my mom in the hospital. When I had my facial surgery, my mom basically did more to take care of me than he nurses did. She was constantly getting ice packs for me and stuff like that. This time around, my mom didn't have nearly as much to do. With this surgery, the hospital stay is pretty much just a matter of putting up with pain and waiting it out. My mom did help with a lot of things like contacting nurses when I was too tired and weak to, getting water for me (I couldn't even get out of bed on my own), and just providing moral support. However, there were a lot of times when my mom was free to go do something else; she would go have coffee downstairs, or drive back to the hotel to have some time for herself, or take a walk. In a lot of cases, there were long stretches of time when my mom was free to do whatever she wanted to. Ultimately, her decision to stay at the hospital was largely out of a desire to be there with me.

I didn't mind my mom being in the room at all. Our hospital room was huge. I felt like I had plenty of my own space, especially given that I couldn't move more than a few inches in either direction. It was really nice to have my mom in the room for moral support, and also to communicate with the nurses when I couldn't muster the energy to contact them.

One thing I needed a lot of help with from my mom was getting things I couldn't reach. I literally could not reach my bag even if it was on the floor next to me. If my cell phone (which I used a lot to distract myself) came unplugged, there was nothing I could do about it. The nurses were kind and helpful, but they were also helping people who were dealing with real problems like extreme pain and bleeding - they could not be expected to come fix my phone cord for me right away if it came unplugged. I could potentially have gone for an hour without help if the nurses had a real problem to deal with and my mom had not been there.

The bed my mom had looked pretty big. It was not a hospital bed, but rather a pull out couch. It was still helpful for us to have a hotel room though, because sometimes my mom just really needed to get out of the hospital for her own sanity. There was a shower in the bathroom attached to our hospital room, but my mom preferred to go back to the hotel and just get away for a little while. Our way of handling things was that we would make sure I had my phone next to me and charged before she left, and then I could call her if I really needed her. Our hotel was only about 12 minutes away by car, so it was easy for her to get back if I needed her. It basically gave her the freedom to get some air while still knowing I was okay.