Hey, so this is a question that I have been wondering about others and their experieces. Personally, how i ''treated'' my dysporia with my self-induced ''manhood'' was basically to drink. For me, for the longest time, if I was drunk  nothing else mattered because I was out of my real life zone. ''Manhood'' had no effect on me and I could actually be totally ok with maleness. Until, I sobered up then everything became 10xs worse :/ and even in the sobering up mind fog one gets I owuld have to present as female sooner then later to be happy. What did you do?

Deep breaths, closed my eyes, laughed too myself that I'm dreaming if I thought I would ever transition.

Well all... I'm living the dream.

Eat and hate myself


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Mainly alcohol.  When I got tired of destroying my health I would switch over to obsessively extreme running every day.  Invariably that would lead to chronic exhaustion and it would be back to alcohol.  Then repeat the cycle again.


Conform and be dull. —James Frank Dobie, The Voice of the Coyote

I basically lived for others. I always deferred to others wishes and helped them meet their goals. That and I frequently contemplated suicide.

All of which, much diminished, have unfortunately become a habit. I will now push for my own needs and I will still think of suicide, but much less often and not as seriously. Helping others to meet their goals has become a decently paying career which I'm considered extremely good at.

Being a girl fits me like a glove.

I cross-dressed off and on.  It was moderately effective while it lasted, but the dysphoria always came back when I had to change my clothes.

How? Simple, ignored it, ignored it and ignored it.
Howd I ignore it? Worked super hard to buy cars lol.
Importing mY RZ Supra from Japan was a big one. And then 89 318is too. Probably spent 50K on cars in my short time :/

Ate to much, lounged around playing video games as a female character, and apparently tried to sabotage my relationships.  Since I found myself, trying to fix decades of self loathing, and neglect of my body is hard.

Hate myself, eat, drink, bury myself under a mountain of diversions and distraction. So many that I even could not allow myself (plus add in the shame & guilt) the monthly or so cross-dressed escape from maleness. And there is doing reckless crazy stuff too. Heck, so what if I "accidentally" got killed?

Drinking, drugs, fighting (used to sometimes be a part time football hooligan unless it clashed dates with my other interests of bikes & muscle cars)

Thanks, Joanne, you reminded me. In addition to the above, snorkeling, flying small airplanes, riding large motorcycles 50 weeks a year and other risky amusements.

No alcohol or drugs for me ever, I knew that if I had started anything like that, I would sink so far so fast into a very dark place that basically that would be the end of me. I have distracted myself with plenty of things that required my full attention, computers, extreme sports and building things. I still eat too much sometimes if I'm in a bad mood.

Way to much of the white stuff and alcohol (the hard stuff ). These days way too much i cream, bread, cheese etc... Still like My beer but i guess that makes Me a cheap date! LOL   

BY 19 I was desperate and was prepared to risk everything...unfortunately or fortunately depending on where you are sitting after rejecting that I was Transsexual at 19 I dove headfirst into booze,drugs I was already half way down the neck of a bottle of booze, popping pills like candy, just trying to deal with my dysphoria and life...after the 9 months of "therapy" I slid right down inside that bottle for the next 18 years and came as close as you can, to drinking yourself to death...This year at age 53 I can finally say I have spent a tiny fraction more of my life sober than drunk/stoned....         

Liz

Lots of food,  cross-dressing whenever the rare opportunity came or I couldn't last anymore without it,  and keeping my mind on anything else,  project after project...

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Quote from: Dee Marshall on March 19, 2017, 02:13:04 PM
I basically lived for others. I always deferred to others wishes and helped them meet their goals.

Dee, I can so relate to that...

For me, I cook instead of eat (a taste here, a taste there, so I know what the meal will be like, but then I will have eaten something so I don't need to eat as much), I drink enough to quiet the bees down just enough to be able to ignore them. I'll look around at things and stop and deliberately think of what makes it beautiful. I stop for scented flowers, and smell them, and probably repeat. I'll sit sometimes and watch the clouds passing, watching for the condensation or evaporation of the finest tendrils. I try to imagine new ways, for everything, and as a result morph frustration onto something inanimate, and demonstrably tangible.

On bad days, I'll wait until dark, and alone, when my kit comes out. I can wait as I know the endorphins will make it go away for a time.

On really bad days, I will just want to disappear. Be invisible, and outside of it all. Not die per se, but not be there. Or anywhere.

I get frightened, at the suggestion of anything that could make changes to the physical me, and want to control it completely. It makes me appear a stubborn old mule - but I can't express that I know and understand this meat suit, with all of its idiosyncrasies, and change makes me think about it, and starts a cycle of dysphoria. I panic, at every new ache or pain, fear that it might be only be fixed by a surgical physical change. And round the cycle we go.

Rowan

I never actually intended to do anything to relieve dysphoria, as I socially transitioned at a young age and I passed in public for a long time. But as puberty began to get worse, so did my dysphoria - and my brain decided to take over from there. I spent so much time in mental hospitals dealing with psychosis and PTSD and bipolar, a total of 9 stays within 2 years. Gender was put on the backburner.
I've been in therapy for a long time, but only now that I'm stable have I really been able to explore the possible causes of these issues. I've begun to visit a new therapist that's helping me focus on what could've made my brain react so badly during those pubescent years. She suggested that those issues (minus the PTSD) were caused by unresolved gender dysphoria, and that when it was pushed aside for medication and therapy it got worse. I'm thinking that was the case.

So basically, my brain flipped out and gave me hell for five years until I was able to really address these issues.

For myself, I buried myself in work. I was successful for 50 years, but miserable.

I still struggle to come to terms sometimes so my old methods are still a little active. ._."

I played mindgames and used distractions. I would come up with short, disjunct phrases that I could get stuck into my head by repeating over and over again, like "I'm Brent, I'm a boy." Stupid little things that I could repeat many times in a minute--enough times that my brain would just repeat the phrase as second nature after a while, not accepting it because it was correct, but because I was used to it. I would play logic games that ignored what I wanted, citing the desire as something other than what I really wanted.

As for distractions, receding into computer games, Facebook surfing, and transformation fetish (MtF) erotica were my main strategies. Pretty plain and simple on that front.

Quote from: ImSomething on March 19, 2017, 06:33:25 PM
I still struggle to come to terms sometimes so my old methods are still a little active. ._."

I played mindgames and used distractions. I would come up with short, disjunct phrases that I could get stuck into my head by repeating over and over again, like "I'm Brent, I'm a boy." Stupid little things that I could repeat many times in a minute--enough times that my brain would just repeat the phrase as second nature after a while, not accepting it because it was correct, but because I was used to it. I would play logic games that ignored what I wanted, citing the desire as something other than what I really wanted.

As for distractions, receding into computer games, Facebook surfing, and transformation fetish (MtF) erotica were my main strategies. Pretty plain and simple on that front.

Transformation fetish? dont quite think I heard that one.. wazz dat?