Nothing wrong with wondering why, in fact, curiosity is a sign of intelligence.
I was outed as nonbinary, bigender partial transmale in 2013, after I'd been living as a hetero female all my life, suppressing instincts contrary to that perception and having panic attacks and depression. After that, I accepted both my male and female sides while doing extensive research, reading transgender autobiographies, science articles, to gain information, etc.
I found that:
1. Everyone is on a gender sliding scale. Even the most femme female and macho males average only 80% of their bio gender traits. Furthermore, 35% of Millennials identify as transgender but think it's no big deal.
2. Most people are on a sexual orientation sliding scale. When assured of complete anonymity, 85% of adults admitted same-sex attraction at least part of the time.
3. Babies get their bio gender in the first trimester of pregnancy, and their brains are hard-wired with gender hormones during the second trimester. All babies get both male and female hormones, but usually the majority of hormones match the bio gender unless the mother is:
a. taking certain drugs
b. highly stressed
c. has recently had a baby of the opposite gender
d. has had several boy babies in a row, in which case the mother can build up an immunity to male hormones and block them from her womb.
e. is mixed gender herself; for instance, many Asians are androgynous
4. Male traits mostly stay on the right side of the brain, and female traits on the left hemisphere.
5. People who have the highest percentage of gender traits that match their bio genders - the most femme females and most macho males-have the best chance of successfully establishing relationships and procreating. However, they also have the lowest IQs.
The more the gender sliding scale moves toward the middle of the scale, usually the higher the IQ. Androgynous people are the great scientists, artists, writers, people who change the world. But they also are typically the least successful in relationships and raising kids. They are too busy inventing things, writing books, directing movies, acting in movies, writing scripts, etc.
Why am I partially transmale?
My mother is partly Cherokee and has a lot of strong male traits. But beyond that, I was conceived by accident, only two months after my brother was born and I absorbed the male hormones still in my mother's womb. This is common even in animals.
Both sides of my brain were initialized with hormones, so I am both male and female; bigender/gender fluid, with the ability to be either in the female or male mode, with corresponding tastes, hobbies, preferences and world views.
I take a Thai herb, derris scandens, because I found it not only eliminates most of my dysphoria, but it blends my two gender modes so that I feel androgynous, as though I am both genders, and no longer jump from one to the other.
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