Hey there folks! I was wondering if this polar shift/180 is normal. I still generally feel very uncomfortable with my male charactoristics still. But i notice if i dont feel dog awful i seem to go into a re-flexsive denial. I will see my penis, facial hair shadow and other things male. Many times these things will make me have a little panic attack and the only way i can feel better, even a bit is to feminize. On the other hand, sometimes i see or notice these things and i get a reflexive ''Its ok'' right before i have an anxiety spell no matter who big or small.  I can notice i dislike these things still, but i have found latley i go into a reflex denial of ''its ok, you can make it'' or an axiety state. I used to have that same reflex of ''its ok'' when I would go out and present male a while back but we all know how that ended... miserabally. Is this mental mechanics normal?? thanks!

Congratulations, you are making progress.  I'm not a therapist but your mind had been liberated.  I think you will find that feeling diminishing more and more. 

It happened to me a few months ago when I finally subconsciously decided "nobody cares about what I'm doing and those that do will understand.  Those that don't understand I don't care." (Or something like that). I'm Denise and I'm unique. 

Relish in your freedom.

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I guess this is good! I have noticed a lot that my core brain is feminizing a lot now. Not too long ago I said to myself i was too masculine and manly to ever be female so i tried to admit ''i am a man and thats that''.. and a second or 2 later i began to BAWL and felt dog awful forever.. were talking tears poruing down the face. after that accepting i am not strictly a masculine helped me feel better, then admitting i am indeed female also helped. As I said, when i feel like myself i am at my highest.. if i somehow slip back to old patterns i am miserable.

Hi Ashley,

  I have to agree with Denise. It sounds like you are making progress accepting yourself as female and the angst is lessening. Keep it up girl, You're doing fine.

  Hugs,
    Jeanette