Felt that I was gay? No.
Wished that I was only gay? Yes.

Was unsure for a while, it all worked out to bisexual.  Glad I got that settled!

Well, when I was younger and didn't have the vocabulary, I thought, "Why am I feminine and feel like a woman even though I'm dating women? Does that mean I'm like, a gay man who likes women?"

I very quickly learned that I didn't fit in with the gay men at my school, and that made me more confused.

I didn't want to admit to being bi, especially because my best friends who were men thought of bi men as gay guys pretending they liked women also.

You all got me thinking again. My best friend has been in my life since I was sixteen, we did everything together for a long long time. I got married, He got married, I got married again. His wife always called me his girlfriend. At the time I thought it was funny. But you all got me thinking. Maybe subconsciously I am attracted to him. In fact all my male friends are from this same timeframe of 16 to 30. I have such a sense of dedication to our friendships, I am as loyal as you will find. But I must admit when the women were around I kind of got jealous.

No, not really. I had people thinking that I was when I was in grade school and in junior high. But that was because at that time an AMAB could only be MANLY/MACHO or else gay. They didn't understand about things like Trans, genderfluid, or non-binary. And I was definitely NOT manly/macho. Nor did I particularly want to be.

Through it all I have been fully and definitively gynophilic. I love women.

My male/masculine part loves women (clearly heterosexual). My female/feminine part loves women (clearly lesbian). The stuff in the middle goes along with the other parts.

I have had enough bad experiences (life experiences) with men that I don't like being around most of them (sensitive men excepted). I have always had more (and better/closer) friendships with women (with 1 possible exception). While I have friends and acquaintances who are gay, I don't have a closeness with them. I generally prefer the company of women.

I love the feminine form and always find it attractive. No matter which side is dominant on a given day or a given time (or evenly split -- it happens) I am attracted to the feminine form -- both body and attitude.

Hugs,
Jackie

I never used to be able to see any attraction in men. The first time I came close to finding a guy attractive I was 14 but I didn't realise what those feelings were at that time. Since I was about 18 I have basically been getting more and more attracted to men as well as women. For the past year or so I have identified as bisexual (in the closet).

I accepted that I was bisexual in my mid teens. Not having to think of it in a binary way i believe was good for me. I knew i wanted to marry a woman and have children and monogamy would have been fine with me, though that is not the path we chose. Sexual preference and gender identity are so separate things to me it is hard for me to make any conclusions on one based on anything from the other. I did get somewhat more attracted to men than usual after HRT.

I don't think that staying in a marriage should ever be thought of as a crutch etc. Its an admirable thing. Lesbians are just that no more or less trans than anyone else.

Well so far I still live as a gay man so I guess the answer is yes. I identify and MTF though so if I transition I'm pretty sure I'll still be attracted to men, probably even more than now cuz gay men aren't really my cup of tea but I've had to settle.

It is confusing for me, I don't find men attractive -.  I do have a desire to be taken, it is hard to explain.  I've come close a few times in the past, but never actually had relations with a guy.  If I were attracted to men, and were in a relationship I would definitely be a bottom.   

Am I gay?  I dunno, I don't think of myself as gay.  I could be I guess.  I just could never see myself in a relationship with a guy, I find women to be sexy, when I think of relationships I think of being with women.  But, I have a desire in me to be taken, if that makes any sense.  Taken, being the polite term of course.

That was really difficult to put out in words, lol. 

But if I am a transgirl, interested in other women, would that make me gay to begin with?  Oh, why does life have to be so confusing. 

Quote from: zamber74 on April 07, 2017, 01:30:43 PM
It is confusing for me, I don't find men attractive -.  I do have a desire to be taken, it is hard to explain.  I've come close a few times in the past, but never actually had relations with a guy.  If I were attracted to men, and were in a relationship I would definitely be a bottom.   

Am I gay?  I dunno, I don't think of myself as gay.  I could be I guess.  I just could never see myself in a relationship with a guy, I find women to be sexy, when I think of relationships I think of being with women.  But, I have a desire in me to be taken, if that makes any sense.  Taken, being the polite term of course.

That was really difficult to put out in words, lol. 

But if I am a transgirl, interested in other women, would that make me gay to begin with?  Oh, why does life have to be so confusing.

Being bisexual my sexual orentation doesnt change with my gender identity....... in a technical sense anyway

I sometimes get asked if I'm gay; but I'm married to and in love with a woman.  So eventually those people decide that I'm just eccentric.   ...I guess that's one way to put it.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Quote from: zamber74 on April 07, 2017, 01:30:43 PM
But if I am a transgirl, interested in other women, would that make me gay to begin with?  Oh, why does life have to be so confusing.

That's why the therapists started using the terms androphilic and gynophilic. They simply express whether a person is attracted to men or women. It doesn't matter the person's biological equipment or gender. (Andro -male; gyno -female; philic - liking or attracted to)

While some people don't like the terms (still makes it binary) I think it removes some confusion... especially if one allows someone to be both androphilic and gynophilic (bi- or even pan- sexual).

Hugs,
Jackie

Quote from: Jackie S on April 07, 2017, 04:16:00 PM
That's why the therapists started using the terms androphilic and gynophilic. They simply express whether a person is attracted to men or women. It doesn't matter the person's biological equipment or gender. (Andro -male; gyno -female; philic - liking or attracted to)

While some people don't like the terms (still makes it binary) I think it removes some confusion... especially if one allows someone to be both androphilic and gynophilic (bi- or even pan- sexual).

Hugs,
Jackie

I like these terms.

Quote from: SailorMars1994 on April 07, 2017, 01:38:03 PM
Being bisexual my sexual orentation doesnt change with my gender identity....... in a technical sense anyway

i always find it interesting that now my wife is the "same sex" relationship in my life and my boyfriend is the "heterosexual relationship". That is just the way it is. Some people look at me in disbelief when i say it, but it is completely true. I agree being bisexual makes its an easier to represent all of that.

Quote from: RobynD on April 07, 2017, 05:28:34 PM
i always find it interesting that now my wife is the "same sex" relationship in my life and my boyfriend is the "heterosexual relationship". That is just the way it is. Some people look at me in disbelief when i say it, but it is completely true. I agree being bisexual makes its an easier to represent all of that.

You have an open-relationship eh? cool! But yes, i love my bi-ness ^.^

Quote from: zamber74 on April 07, 2017, 01:30:43 PM
It is confusing for me, I don't find men attractive -.  I do have a desire to be taken, it is hard to explain.  I've come close a few times in the past, but never actually had relations with a guy.  If I were attracted to men, and were in a relationship I would definitely be a bottom.   

Am I gay?  I dunno, I don't think of myself as gay.  I could be I guess.  I just could never see myself in a relationship with a guy, I find women to be sexy, when I think of relationships I think of being with women.  But, I have a desire in me to be taken, if that makes any sense.  Taken, being the polite term of course.

That was really difficult to put out in words, lol. 

But if I am a transgirl, interested in other women, would that make me gay to begin with?  Oh, why does life have to be so confusing.

I feel the same way. Good post!

In my early teens, I thought I was a lesbian. By mid-high school I'd found out I was bisexual. These days I'm mostly attracted to men. It's strange how these things change as you grow older. You would've thought that finding out I was male would have skewed my attraction more towards women, but it didn't work that way for me.

Quote from: SailorMars1994 on April 07, 2017, 08:43:04 PM
You have an open-relationship eh? cool! But yes, i love my bi-ness ^.^

Yes open for sure. Not at all perfect but open

There are times when the idea crossed my mind, other people always seemed to think I was gay, but I was never attracted to men and I figured that was probably a key part of the experience.

That being said I am attracted to the idea of having sex with a man as a woman, but I've never met any individual male that I'm attracted to in that way. Perhaps the hormones might changes that, I know I'm open to the idea.

I grew up in a very socially conservative and somewhat religious family life and quite honestly, I think it messed up my sense of sexuality.  In that community being gay was wrong, which is pretty much what was modeled for me growing up.  I never understood that, it was just the way it was.  And as a kid, you tend not to know any better.  As I grew up and started to question these dogmas, I found myself rejecting these societal notions.  Knowing that I wanted to be a girl from a young age, but not wanting anyone to know for fear of losing everything, being beaten up, or being disowned by my family let me to think for the longest time that gay was not right.  Thankfully, I grew out of this as I grew up, and of course I grew to accept who I was, transition, and to live a very full and happy life.

Many people have asked me over the years if I was gay, and one of my sisters actually told me that she would have preferred me to be gay instead of trans.  Yet, I wasn't gay, I was never attracted to men growing up.  I have always been attracted to women, which is another reason it was tough to come out as trans.  Society makes it hard for us to accept ourselves by telling us we are wrong or that being gay is wrong.  So when I removed these societal constructs and started accepting the diversity of society, I was able to accept myself as a trans woman.  I also began to think, or rather, ask myself if I might be attracted to men.  Honestly, I really haven't been.  I have kissed a few guys and to be honest some have made me feel special, but that is it.  I have never felt the need to have a man in my life, or in my bed.  I have always enjoyed the company and comfort I have had with women, and this continues to this day.

Several weeks ago, during my mute phase following VFS, a guy hit on me and we started a brief exchange of text messages.  While this was flattering at first, I never had those feelings after the exchange like I have had with women I have met.  Do if I look at the orignal question of the thread post "Did you ever feel you were gay?"  I would have to say yes, but not until after I transitioned.  I am gay now, or more precisly I am a lesbian now.  And I am comfortable with this and with being who I am--a strong, sucessful, woman-loving, trans-woman. 

-Sarah