My regular counselor suggested that I find a way to join a local LGBTQ discussion group for support now. I may appreciate more local feedback on my discovery or be part of the local community. What do I say though as an intro?

Here's what I thought:

QuoteI'm a 25 year old guy who had questions about his gender identity for a couple years. I don't know who I am now. I wanted to experiment with cross-dressing ever since I began questioning. I want to say a big hi to you people.

The only problem is that I can't use my main Facebook account (yet). You are still allowed to open up another Facebook account with a different name right? I may need to do this. There are a few of these groups in my region.

I had a closeted Facebook account for the time before I came out, never had any problem. All you'll need is a different email address for the account, since you can't use the same email address twice for logins.

Facebook's algorithms seem to have the uncanny ability to know much more about us that we know they know.

Some people have complained that their out account appears on the feeds of people on their closeted account as "people you may know". I'm not sure if that is driven my people having their other email address in their contacts or if there is something even more interesting at work there, but i would be sure to use a fresh email address and all other info if possible in creating the new account.

Maybe someone else can comment on that.

I don't know if this is the cause but Face book plants tracking cookies in your computer even if you don't agree to it. I don't have a Face book account but I sometimes need to verify links so I end up on the public side of face book. It presented me with a request to place a tracking cookie which I didn't accept but I still acquired a cookie from them. I had considered just opening a dummy account as some sites now require face book passwords but after that, I refuse to have anything to do with Face book.

They claim they have discontinued the practice after it was made public but a company that violated public trust once is likely to do it again.

Tracking cookies, your phone number (don't use the same number for both accounts), birth dates and other personal info are all part of their algorithms. For this reason I made sure all the details are different (I use a Google Voice number for my Alyssa account) and I only log into my Alyssa account using an incognito/private window either in Chrome or Firefox.

FB doesn't really allow you to have more than one account, but lots of us do.  You need to work hard to keep them separate.

As noted above, you'll need to use different email addresses for them.  Have absolutely no friends in common.  It is common friends that trigger all those "people you may know" popups.  Consider including some misinformation on one of them, such as a different location.  Do not use the same browser for the two accounts.  If you have two computers, use a different one for each account.  If you only have one computer, use (for example) Firefox for one and Chrome for the other, so that they don't share cookies.  Never, ever visit one account from the other.

As someone whose always had very minimal information in his facebook account here's what I noticed about the "people you may know".

I've never used mobile facebook app on any of my phones, Ive also never given facebook my phone number despite the repeated begging so your mileage will vary.

I did enter my high school (but, i went to 2, not one) at one time and several people who went there are also on my "people you may know". Some of these people are also friends of my friends. I don't see anyone from my high school #2 that I was never able to list. I deleted this information off my profile (6 years ago), but these people are still suggested.

I also at one time listed my city where I lived. Then I had lots of "people you may know" who are also listed from the same city. Did it once for my hometown where I was born and it also suggested tons of people from that place. I also deleted this information off my profile (6 years ago), but these people are still suggested.

Also the same with the "interests", "recommended pages" based on pages I "liked".

I believe there is some algorithm present that links you with other stuff based on your hometown, where you live, your friends, school, where you work, etc. It also looks like whatever you enter, even if you change it later on will still remember your previous values.

My suggestion is if you create a closet account on facebook. DO NOT FRIEND your current friends, it will pick up on it may suggest your closet account to your other friends. This will also hold true if you enter your place you live, past schools, same interests, etc. The more you fill in data that matches your non-closet account the higher likelyhood it is to have your accounts suggested to friends.

My secondlife persona's facebook account was completely unknown until a friend of mine added him as a friend on her profile. Now my secondlife persona is on all my friends accounts.

Food for thought.

Luckily I did none of that. I did create a "closet account" and reached out to a chat session with a regional group (there were two social workers on the other side of the chat) and it felt kind of scary reaching out to them. I don't even know if they are always trustworthy.

If it's a Facebook group, depending on the settings you may be able to use it on your main account. I'm an admin for 3 FB groups all related to FTM bottom surgery procedures so I'm pretty familiar with the various settings.

If a group is open, anyone can see the content posted and all of the members.
If a group is closed, you have to join to see the content posted but you can see the member list without being a member.
If a group is secret, you can't even search for it and would need to be added to it by a current friend who is in the group.

There is also a setting on your page that you would want to turn off which lists your groups in your profile.

I'm less certain about Likes. I know you can turn this list off in your profile so it won't show anything, but I don't know if this also takes you off the list of people included when someone you know searches for a page, where it says X number of your friends like this page and lets you see who those people are.

The lady who I talked to has sent me her phone number so I can text her. Now, how do I worry about this part? For your information, I have my own phone number, even though it's part of my mom's phone plan.

Quote from: redhot1 on May 07, 2017, 12:19:01 PM
The lady who I talked to has sent me her phone number so I can text her. Now, how do I worry about this part? For your information, I have my own phone number, even though it's part of my mom's phone plan.

I suppose it depends on your texting plan and how nosy your mom is. If you are allotted a certain number of texts per month and it would cost money if you exceeded this amount, then I would be careful to keep track and stay below that number. I wouldn't worry beyond that. If your mom is really nosy and wants to see who you are texting, she can probably look that up in the billing information. This would just give her a number and not the specific content of the texts. She might be able to request the content of the text messages by asking the phone company.

As far as I can tell, my mom isn't really nosy about these things.