I'm currently about to start hormones and I was wondering when is it proper to change which bathroom you go to?

I've been wearing exclusively skirts and tights and camisoles for 4 years and have consistently been evil-eyed in the men's room.

I get gendered both ways all the time.  Just depends on where I am.

But how long should I wait on hormones before I just start not using the men's restroom?

Bathroom bills not withstanding, whenever you're comfortable doing so. If you're presenting female it's pretty much fair game. The general populous would probably say once your testes are officially dead, so a few months (eliminating the sexist concern that men are driven by their testicles to rape and pillage). And then the hate mongers/republicans would say NEVER!

But yeah, the official answer is it's more about your gender expression than anything.

General rule is whichever is safer. My own experience was when I started getting male fail (not in the washroom environment) even though I dressed either androgynously or in my male attire, that's when I know when to switch.

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If I dress in guy clothes I go into the mens room. If I wear make up or feminine clothes I go into the womens room. Women are less awkward about trans people in the bathroom from my experience.

Well safety first.  But if either one is an option, go with whichever one more closely matches your presentation.  If you are wearing a skirt, that would most often be taken as presenting feminine, so the women's would probably be the better option.  But go with whatever feels safer.

When I was presenting androgynously, I used the men's to avoid conflicts.  But as soon as I was presenting unambiguously feminine (skirt, tights, top with a bra underneath), I started using the women's.

When I started getting STARED at shortly after starting HRT using the um... non-female bathroom.. was when I decided enough was enough. (I always used the toilet anyways).  I made the quick move over to the female side and never went back.  I've never gotten stared at in the female bathroom lol. 

Oh, and even in my most drab rotten blue jeans, baggy tshirt, androgynous sorta mode I use female bathroom, no issues. Clothing choice has nothing to do with bathroom necessity.  Honestly I'd just say whatever you're most comfortable with, and what OTHERS are also most comfortable with.    Just don't be a dingbat, sit to do your business

However I'm presenting, that's where I go. Except for work, I plan to use the female restroom since I know that's where I belong...

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"You do realize, this means you get to do character creation & the newbie zone all over again? "

I feel like I'm at the point where I get stared on no matter which one..

Quote from: Nari on May 10, 2017, 11:48:50 AM
I feel like I'm at the point where I get stared on no matter which one..

You stated you haven't started hormones yet. I'm not sure I understand the issue? What have you always done? Because short of longer hair or female presentation, the issue would seem moot, and even then, It seems a non starter. If you can't pass safely in Fem, then I'd be cautious when dressed that way. If you are in Male attire? really, I'm not understanding the issue.

I have long hair, a feminine build, and haven't worn men's clothes in 4 years.

Quote from: Nari on May 10, 2017, 12:57:49 PM
I have long hair, a feminine build, and haven't worn men's clothes in 4 years.

then you're answer is pretty clear. You present as female, use those facilities.

As soon as i identified as a woman, regardless of how i was presenting, I used the women's restroom. Now i never was dressed that overly masculine to begin with, but nevertheless I did not fear using it as it is my right. Never had any negative experiences.

Quote from: Daisy Jane on May 10, 2017, 10:33:23 AM
Women are less awkward about trans people in the bathroom from my experience.

Way less.  And, in the rare times that women have reacted at all, it's usually a comment expressing jealousy about my height.  In the men's room I got threats, ridicule, and numerous episodes of others worrying that they had walked into the wrong room. 

The original poster clearly and consistently presents as female.  She should use the women's room.

You all have inspired me.  I shall use the women's room forthwith.

So am I the only one here who uses the men's bathroom? Using the mens for 30 years so old habits die hard and I'm almost certainly more likely to be attacked on the street than in a bathroom. I'd rather some guys give me a double take than mothers ushering their children away or texting their white knights to come "save" them or being seen as a creeper. Or thinking they might think that of me. 

You will have to let us know how it goes. I have a friend who said it was liberating. I was kinda nervous at first but had no choice as I was asked to leave the men's room. My 2 best friends probably had a lot to do with how little I thought about it. One was my roommate at the time and the other has been my best friend forever. Well now I have 2 trans friends that are probably closer. Shhh, don't tell kay. Anyway, they have treated every bathroom I have ever been in as their bathroom to do as they wish. No, no. Don't let the fact that I just got out of the shower and am drying off dissuade you in any way from coming in and peeing. I realized that I am immune to being annoyed by then when we went out for the one's birthday last autumn. The 3 of us and one other friend. I got dragged into the stall with her to wait while she went, we kept talking as I went. At one point there were 3 of us in that tiny stall.

So yeah, the first time I was nervous. By the third or fourth time I had learned how to use the bathroom without that stupid gap between the door and the, ah... not door part? being an issue. Since then I haven't thought about it.

Everyone knows that men and women are different. The bathroom is maybe the quintessential example. Mostly it's not so different but then... We are complaining about our date, or borrowing that shade, holding her hair while she regrets drinking so much, talking about how hot our dates are.... I could keep going but you get the idea. In the men's room meanwhile. Dude, you see that waitress? If that. Wait, I honestly don't remember what men are like in their bathroom. Forget everything I just said. 😆

I just go by where I feel comfortable at the moment. Depending on the situation and how I'm dressed.

it's super uncomfortable, and I try with all my might to not go there, if I have to go I usually ask to the people I'm with, where to go, when my breasts grow a little more I'll go to the ladies room always.

I had never used the ladies, then one day I was at the gym still PreEverything in my tights, sports bra ect and made myself sick.. I was faced with this awkward moment of having to go somewhere and being in a not passing but full girl mode.

It really helped me get over my fear.. I now use whichever I'm presenting as, there gets a point that you just arnt welcome in the men's anymore and in my experience women have been more accepting.


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Not to derail, but have you noticed how more and more businesses are now posting their bathrooms (individual ones, not the larger group one) non-binary (both sexes)? I noticed recently that Starbucks was doing that. Regardless of bathroom bills, we are getting more acceptance.

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