I'm debating with myself at the moment how I feel about seeing myself as trans once I get to where I'm going

For me, I have had to decide that once i identified as a woman, i am a woman. For me that is sort of a protection mechanism. Sure, trans describes the process and decision for me to get there, but i sort of see it as a subgroup of womanhood, not a category onto itself. I do though use that descriptor sometimes, usually when i am trying to describe something that is unique or fairly unique to trans women.

Fully transition is different for everyone I think and can mean anything such as various surgeries, living day to day as a woman or changing one's legal status.

I said yes.  While losing the "trans" is a long-term goal, the reality is that it will take me years to unlearn all the male habits and learn female ones.  I won't really be able to say that my transition is complete until that time comes, if it does.  And I won't know how close I get until I am there.

This is such a good question, and something I was just thinking about yesterday myself.  I have not even begun the transition yet other than dressing in my girl clothes at home.

  But here are a couple of my thoughts.   I used to weigh 334 pounds.   Over 7 years ago I had weight loss surgery, and I literally lost half of myself.   I have been hovering around 168-172 pounds for a very long time now and am very happy about that.   Here's how it relates in my mind:   For years my weight was such a huge issue for me.  Every day on top of wishing I had been born into the correct body as far as gender goes, I also wanted so bad to not be so fat anymore.  It consumed my life.  Always wanting to lose weight.  Always being miserable with how fat I was, but unable to find the motivation and things to lose the weight.  So I spent my whole life just about, fighting this weight issue.  Then suddenly when I had the surgery, then my life became about documenting the weight loss via youtube videos.  It was my everything.  Posting updates and buying new clothes that I never could have fit into before.  Once I got down to my lowest weight........I realized something.   I realized, that I no longer wanted my entire life to be consumed by this damn weight issue.  I wanted to just live my life like normal, and not even think about my weight anymore.  And I haven't.  I completely stopped with my YouTube video updates, and stopped posting before and after pictures on Facebook, and just got on with my life as a normal thin person, and it has been amazing!

  So as far as my MTF transition.........I found myself yesterday realizing that I would want the same thing if I were to transition.  I have spent my entire life, wishing I had the female body to match my feelings.  I have spent countless hours reading about GRS and HRT and posting on forums such as this one, and dreaming about being the girl I always felt I was.  And I decided, that if or when I make the transition, I would want from that point on, to forget about the old me, and just embrace the new me, and move on and live my life in happiness the way I was always meant to.  Not constantly thinking about it anymore.  Just get up in the morning, and put on my favorite clothes, and go on with life just the same way I do now in regards to my weight loss.  I don't want it to consume me anymore.  I don't want to think about myself as being "trans".  I just want to think of myself as the woman I am, and try my best to forget all the heartache and sorrow of being stuck in the wrong body.

Yes, being trans made me who I am today. I'm a woman, but I'm also a trans person, and as such have unique experiences most cis people do not have. Just as cis women have things in their life that I do not and cannot understand (periods, pregnancy) I've had experiences they have not and would not understand. Neither is better or more female, just different. While I am usually pretty private about my transition, I do not actively conceal it from friends or when I think it's necessary to speak up.

Honestly no. To me, I'm a woman, I always was, and always shall be. After having SRS there will be virtually no difference between me and a cis-woman who had her uterus removed. To me my transition would be complete. Male mannerisms, they weren't hard to unlearn, to be honest I basically transitioned very smoothly and naturally into all of the female mannerisms. For me, transition is moving from one point to another. I guess in  sense I will always be considered trans-gender, but I feel that my transition, being transgender is only a small chapter of my life. I started thinking about this when I got to my half year mark. To me, I'm just a woman, and that's all I really want. I don't want people to know I transitioned after surgery, and it's not that I'm ashamed, simply put I am a woman and that's all that really matters. The only one who should really be concerned about that would be any doctors who may need that information and whoever I marry. But for me, even if I haven't had surgery yet, I don't see myself as much of being trans as I see myself as just a woman.

TL;DR No once, I have SRS I won't see myself as trans because I'll be no different than any cis-woman who had her uterus removed.

at first I was sure that my goal was to pass and be seen as a female, after some hard life lessons ( divorce unemployed and homeless ) I decided to embrace my past and use all of my life experience to help others understand me and see that I am not bad, and have a good deal to offer everyone. in those steps I have found that I am very proud of facing my fears and allowing me to live my life to its fullest possibility as a transgendered person. so my answer is yes although I am far from being done with my process I am very proud to say and be transgendered. it is not for the weak nor faint at least not the path I have found.

I've considered this quite a bit as well.  My feeling is we will always be trans ....it's just the facts we have to deal with for our entire life.  However, after all is "complete", I hope to just be seen and treated as a woman and nothing more/less once all is said and done.  Some like to outwardly identify as trans first, woman second...or a "transgender woman".....that's not me.  I'm just a woman and wish to be remembered as simply that.

Trans all the way. Exotic hybrid, specifically.   

Hugs, Devlyn

I am a transexual woman, and as such I will always see myself as being "trans".  I have fully transitioned, whatever that actually means.....  I have undergone (and continue to) HRT.  I have legally changed my name and gender pretty much everywhere except maybe my high school.  My drivers license, Social Security records, College records, passport and birth certificate all say my name is Jessie and I am female. I am now almost 9 months post op. 

I have a past that I am in no way ashamed of.  I accomplished so much that I don't want to ignore that part of me and pretend it didn't exist.  I have a career that I am still working at and I don't want to give up all of those years that I worked so hard to succeed at. 

Maybe after I retire and move to another state and establish myself into a new community I will feel different.  But I want to fight for equality for people in transition and by not identifying as being trans I lose a little credibility.  I want to be visible so that people will not be so afraid of trans people.   

Yes, I would see myself that way, since I wouldn't forget my past experiences. And that's been a part of me since I was a child.


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I'm a woman with complications from birth that were remedied in my early 20's.

Quote from: RavenMoon on May 15, 2017, 09:05:58 PM
Yes, I would see myself that way, since I wouldn't forget my past experiences. And that's been a part of me since I was a child.


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That's how I feel, I don't want to forget who I have been or where I came from because that makes me the person I am.

That's the same reason I hate the term "deadname" it's more of "my original name" to me (if that makes sense)


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Yes I agree. I'll always be the same person. Just with a different name. And a prettier face. Lol

That's why when people talk about "living authentic lives" I get annoyed. I'm always authentic. Just as a guy. Lol. But I'm still me.


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I will always consider myself trans. When I first transitioned I absolutely hated the term transgender. For me it felt like a hateful slur and being referred to as transgender highly offended me. My parents even stopped using the word transgender around me. They would say "my situation".  When I was 16 my mother told me something that has stuck with me. And it is true of every transwoman. She said:  "being transgender does not make you less female than biological women. It makes you more female because you were willing to endure so much to get there "

I could say that my past has made me what I am. But that part that defined me is all linked to childhood trauma that is more like a history lesson than any kind of memory. Thankfully. I remember pieces, still frames, of my early life. The good mostly, I can't find the bad even though I know it is there. Maybe because my brother is older or because he fought back early or really it just could be that his memory is better than mine, but he remembers everything.

I don't want to keep that. I don't want it to be part of me and I am glad that I don't remember much.

My teen years I was angry, hated myself and the world. I attacked first and often. People began to fear me and it made me hate myself more. You know though, no one ever connected that fact that while I fought all the time, I never hurt anyone. Maybe my brother and his reputation had something to do with that. It was unsustainable though for me, that level of anger. I began to hide. Then eventually ran, joined the army. I had a death wish, lived on the edge. But I did live those 4 years though. Wish I could remember it.

Quit drinking after getting out of the military. Wow, was that a mistake. Everything that I had hidden from the last 4 years came crashing in.

I survived and found a friend, with her help I could look normal anyway. I was locked inside myself though, she was my only link to the world. Anyway, also unsustainable and monumentally unfair to her.

Which part? Which part of my life before should I be proud Of? Which part should I keep? My brother? He is still there and has called me Michelle since I was little. My best friend? She is still there and has always known.

My transition? People have called me brave. When? I have been terrified the whole time. Been beat up, groped, laughed at and called names more times than I can count. Nearly lost it and offed myself when a batch of patches were bad and my hormone levels went back to higher T and lower E before my endo caught it and got me straightened out. Only in the last year and a half, two years since going full time has transition been good.

Sorry, my therapist and I are working on me and not transition now. It's on my mind and it just pops out.

But really, what would be the point of holding on to that? There is so much I missed, wasn't present for or just plain sucked. I can do better the second half of my life.

Michelle

I am a woman.

I am a lesbian, blue jean femme.

I am transgender.

These are all components of myself.  I can no more deny these components than I can deny my arms or legs.  They are all part of me, part of what makes me who I am today.

I can live my life as my true, authentic self, no longer denying components of myself, and feeling tremendous relief because of that.  This is all I wanted, all I needed.

I plan to complete my transition, with tracheal shave, FFS, and GCS, because these medical treatments bring my physical presence into better alignment with my identity.  I'll be more comfortable, and can be my authentic self more readily, without having to worry about personal discomfort, or risks of 'discovery' by those likely to misinterpret physicality and identity.

Stefanie, thank you so much for your question... It made me reflect about from where I come, where I am and where I want to go. Thanks, really... 💐

I will always see myself as a trans woman, BUT I hope people will look at me and see simply a woman and treat me as such. These are two very different things and OP specifically asks how one expects to see HERSELF (as trans or not) when reaching her goal, not how she wishes to be seen by others.

It would be impossible for me to totally dissociate myself from 44 years of growth, experiences (good and bad), and a myriad of truly magical moments as a physical male... Unless I suffered from some bizarre form of amnesia. But I wouldn't even want that. It's certainly not a goal for me. I AM what I experienced along my life... By wanting to forget about what I experienced and how I experienced it, I'd be letting go of who I am... I cherish those memories. Not "because" I was physically a male, but "despite" the fact that I was physically a male. And those memories are often visual. And my visual was definitely male. I can't just portray myself getting married to my beloved wife as a woman, or becoming father of my two beautiful boys as a woman... No, no, no... No matter how much wishful thinking, that's not what happened.

Now, how I see MYSELF... Despite feeling definitely female, I still don't see me as a woman. Not yet anyways. And for me that's an important goal. I want to see myself as a woman. To look like a woman. To be seen as a woman. Because that will be congruent with my inner feeling, gender-wise. Thanks to hormones, voice training, demeanour training, surgeries, make-up, clothing, etc... I hope to achieve that goal. But how I see myself physically is different from how I see myself biographically, historically. My physical outlook, I can change. My biography, no. I'm no revisionist.

Even if in a very remote future we find a way to replace those damn Y chromosomes with a X's, our very first footsteps in this universe will remain as males. If someone invented a time machine and returned to that moment of our birth, he wouldn't see a female... He would see a male. And I accept that fact. I am 100% comfortable with it. No offense, but denying it would be dellusional. And I am a very rational woman.

This guy, "old physical me", existed. Inside him was a woman who longed for recognition, but her interaction with the world was irrevocably as a male. I don't feel a little bit of shame about it. I'm proud of it. It's something that relatively very few in the history of mankind have experienced. Living both as a man and as a woman, that is. I've always been a very pragmatic and ecclectic person. If something feels right and is objectively not wrong, why not? Does the fact of being proud of my past, as a physical male (no matter how much painful it was, at times) makes me less of a woman? I don't think so. If anything, it makes a very special kind of woman.

So... In MY eyes, I am and will always proudly be a woman, who for biographical reasons also happens to be trans.

My two cents.... Hugs, Sarah

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I thing age in this question is a factor. For the older transitioners who have lived their formative as a male and a life as a mature male it would be difficult to forget our past life as a male. I personally will always see mysrlf as a trans female and ever so proud to be that. However, for many younger transitioners This may be possible and desired by many of the very young transitioners.

Thank you Stephanie, I was just thinking about this in another post I left yesterday.  I answered your question "yes," but it made me think about why I felt that way.  As much as I don't like the idea of a gender binary, I still feel rather constrained by it.  When I think about those of us who describe themselves as non-binary, I think how much braver you are, daring not only to challenge traditional definitions of man and woman, but choosing something that didn't even exist.  How pretentious of me!  To think that because it's not one of the two gender choices currently "permitted" on most documents and systems that it's somehow "new."

So it seems I have a ways to go in order to truly accept and appreciate the full and wonderful spectrum of gender diversity.  There's probably a generational aspect to it, but I don't want to be limited by where I came from, that certainly doesn't define me.  But it does, in part, describe me.  Perhaps I can reach some point where the idea that I was assigned male at birth is inconsequential to me with regard to how I see myself. Meanwhile, I do feel some sense of pride at the tag of "transgender." 

Erin