Hi Mary,

You look great and are not too old. My trainer is 59 and in phenomenal condition. She has the heart of a tiger. I will start training in earnest in late summer. Right now it hurts to walk and I know 4 weeks with no exercise will be tough and tougher to restart.

Hi!
Mary you are only too old if you talk yourself into it. Put yourself out there and see. You too Rachel. Go for it ladies, don't sell yourselves short.

Rachel, my pre-op went well so far. I passed the physical and my chest X-ray was normal. If my labs are okay, I will be cleared. I wasn't at Papillon today. My exam was near home. Glad your procedure went well. I don't think we are hooked on surgeries but it takes a few to get us to where the mind and body are roughly aligned. She is right that the birdie must fly.
Moni

Hi Monica, thanks for the support. I do need to get out and surgeries are definitely getting old. I need round 2 for hair, BA and a correction with my jowls. I will see about VFS after another few months of voice training and using my full voice at work and elsewhere.  I think Dr. McGinn's point was to live life and not do surgeries to some day feel complete.

I dilated Thursday morning and then Friday when I came home from work. Everything went well. Yes, once a day . My vagina looks beautiful and I am so incredibly happy I had GCS and it is finally behind me.

I saw my therapist Thursday. I went over some of the same old issues that are beginning to get old. I really need to look forward and just leave the past behind. I am tired of living in the past. I think I agree with her I have repeated my past and I will continue to do so until I break the pattern. I am ready. 

I was walking down 12th street in the gayborhood after my therapist appointment. A guy walked up to me and said you are cute, talk to me. I stopped and he started a conversation. I could see he was very under the influence. I listened and we talked for a minute or two and then I said good by. Next I saw my trainer in the alley next to the gym training a guy. We chatted for a few minutes; the first thing she said was your doctor is spot on, you need to get on with your life. My next encounter was a monk, he grabbed my hand; he had a bracelet of beads which I said no thank you. It was not prepared to have someone grab my hand. Next time I will give him a donation. I think he had a bracelet of beads that represented prayers he said. I could tell he was a nice person. Then a healthy dinner and on to Macys Urban Decay for some makeup.

Group was good and one of the woman at group is going to the same voice therapist I am and we meet at the voice therapist office Wednesday. She is very nice.

The lawyer said she sent the DRO's to the Court and our divorce will be soon. Odd feeling, I just want it over and get on with things. I hope my wife, daughter and I can go out to dinner once in a while. I wish we could go down the shore and rent a house 1 week a year like we use to do. Perhaps some day they will be more comfortable in public with me.

Warning **This is gross**

When I had my 6th month GCS check-up, just before my labiaplasty, Chrystal at Papillion  found a rolled up hair in the back of my vagina with some white stuff intertwined. She said I think this is the cause of the vaginal odor. I was douching with 3 quarts of water daily to mitigate the odor.

It has been 5 days and the odor is gone. I thought the odor was from they type of lube used then some other mysterious reason. I had gone to Papillion to have the odor checked out 2 months or so ago and I guess she missed the hair. It was really small and rolled up in a ball.

It has been 10 days since my labiaplasty and the pain is all but gone. In 4 days I clean under the skin and then when needed through experience. My feeling has returned and I am very happy so far with the look. I hope I can have an orgasm using clitoral stimulation again.

In general I have so much more feeling down than I had pre-op. I think that had to do with how my genitals were physically and how I feel about my genitals now. I want to test drive. I am torn, do I test drive to test drive or do I wait to test drive until I find the right person.

BA is July 12 550 Mentor cohesive silicone over the muscle. Over the muscle because my Muscle is up high.

MY PA-c is moving to NYNY. I cried when he told me Tuesday. I was at my primary care to have the BA paperwork filled out. The two different places I went to get my blood test stuck me so many times. Finally she got a good vain and in 30 seconds 3 tubes of blood were filled.

My wife will file the pre-approved domestic relations orders with the court tomorrow as well as the final divorce document.

Rachel, this entire thread was so amazing! From start to finish. Reading you have helped me see and realize that I am truly blessed for all I have in my life. An amazing son, two beautiful step kids, and an incredibly strong wife who supports me. I always thought and played the victim that my life was so horrible for feeling this way. But your story has helped me grow so much. I am on hold from restarting hormones since I'm in male mode for employment reasons, but one day, one day soon Vicky will emerge. A strong and fierce woman! Loves!!!

Hi Vicky, thanks for the support. I am glad the thread has helped you.

Today was pretty good. I found Kotex sport thin U athletic panty liners. They are awesome. I need a thin small pad even though I dilate at night (1/day). I have moisture and need a daily use pad but not a full sized pad. I needed the full sized pad when I dilated after GCS but my vagina has healed and just need a small panty liner. They are soooooo comfortable and no more rash from pad to crotch rubbing

I had lunch with my soon to be ex. It was at bearburger 11th and Walnut, in the gayborhood. Sprouted bun and buffalo burger, salad no dressing and diet cola. After lunch I went to the woman's bathroom and my wife followed. We peed in stalls next to each other and there was not problem, very cool. I used my debit card with my name on it and it felt so good. Since 11/2015 (our divorce agreement date) she stalled taking her name off my account and stalled me on having my name on my account and debit and credit card.

She did not want to go to New Hope because half her clients are there and she did not want to run into any of them (she is ashamed of me). There are two great burger places there but I will leave that to another day.

My hair transplants that shed are growing. I can see them coming up through my scalp. Now, I need to be patient as they grow. The hair transplants that did not shed, about 5%, are growing very well and are entering into the awkward phase. Dr. Cooley said that it takes a year for the hair follicles to align and for the curls to align.

My sister offered to drive me to and from my BA on 7/17/17. I will e-mail Papillion see if I can uber to and from the hospital.

Today was my 2 weeks post labiaplasty and as instructed I cleaned under the hood with a Q-tip. It was clean. My (glands penis) clitoris is getting smaller and there is not much room to go in. I guess the skin is coming together.

I had a vaginal orgasm last night. I was very aroused all day. After dilating I decided to try to have an orgasm. I knew I could not stimulate my clitoris (2 more weeks) so I used a dildo, ribbed, for a while. It felt really good and I all the sudden had intense feelings proceeded before an orgasm. I would really love to have a guy and experience intercourse.

I am turning 55 on Wednesday. I think this will be an awesome year

Rachel Lynn, those little mini pads work great if you have only a little leakage during the day, no big pad to feel between your legs all day.  Many cis woman wear one all the time or during part of the month when they have a little leakage. There are several brands on the stores just find the one that work best for you.  Great you had a nice orgasm already. 

Thank you mm. I have to use 3 during the day but the comfort is worth it and they are very inexpensive.

I went to group at the new Mazzoni site, Broad and Bainbridge; it is beautiful. My PA-c is moving to New York with his SO . I am happy for him and very grateful. Dusty, Alison and Elaine saved my life 5 years ago. Two of the three are on different paths but I will always be grateful to them and remember them.

BA is on 7/17/17. I was waffling about going bigger than 550cc. I have made my decision to stay with 550 cc and remember why I decided on 550 cc, to fit into average woman size and feel better about myself.

Rachel, I'm sure you researched the size issue extensively.  Please excuse me if my message is redundant.  Having read the accounts of a considerable number of individuals who have had BA, I think the general conclusion I would draw from their experiences is that less is more.   

Are there reference tables on the internet for cup and chest size vis a vis implant volume? 550 could be a lot for one person and insufficient for another. It all depends...


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Hello Katy, I agree. My main concern was having an A cup, cloths not fitting right, not having a female shape and not looking like I had a boob job. I have an issue with my body to start with. I have to go over the muscle because my muscle ends above the midpoint of my breasts. Mentor makes up to a 800 CC high implant. I am going with a 550 cc which was my original decision. I was watching a you tube where a plastic surgeon said half of her patients that have regrets would like smaller and half would want larger implants.

Honesty moment, I was considering larger implants to attract guys even though I knew larger boobs get in the way, are a pain when exercising and tops can be more difficult to fit correctly. Wrong reason !

Hello Gertrude, Mentor has a kit with the different sizes. They can be slipped into a bra to provide insight. Dr. McGinn did not offer them to me and I found out about the kit after the consult. I do not know if the doctor has the kit. I asked her opinion after I described what I was looking to accomplish (listed above). She recommended 550 cc and said it will make a full C. Another consideration, I am east to west which can not be changed with a BA.

I emailed Papillion with some questions:

Can I take a cab to and from the BA?

Should I stop eating and drinking before midnight the day before the BA ( I have the instructions for GCS about eating and liquids but not just a BA. I was supposed to have then at the same time.)?

Will the hospital call and tell me what time to be there (like with the GCS)?

No eating before any general. Some people vomit as the result of a general and that is a huge problem if you aren't awake when it happens. An additional question is will you need somebody to watch you for 24 hours after surgery. Normally that's required because a general can leave you dopy for a day or so afterward and there is a risk of falling or needing somebody to call for help if you can't. With my voice surgery, as I was by myself, I was required to spend the night after surgery in the hospital.

Hi Dina, thank you. I received a word document from Papillion with instructions and the papers to be signed. They said I need to have someone there for discharge . I pretty much knew the answer to the question but wanted to ask them just in case.

I have decided on 550 cc as originally planned and I am very satisfied with my decision.

I have the BA 7/17/17 and oral surgery 7/20/17. I was thinking about getting to work a few days that week because I think I need to be at Papillion that following Monday. So BA Monday, off Tuesday and work Wednesday, oral surgery Thursday, work Friday and off Monday. I am going to try my best to keep to this schedule unless I really need to be off.

I haven't had a BA but I suspect you may be a little uncomfortable for a few days after that. In addition, I think you are supposed to wear a special support garment and washing will be a little difficult for a week or two. Unless you can work from home, it may be a problem putting a full day in at the office.

Rachel,
   For voice therapy, do you use the therapist through McGinn's office? If so do you like her? Is it in person or over the computer?
Moni

Rachel Lynn, I know you want to work on Wednesday, from several girls who have had BA; it takes a few days to get to where you can work particularly a full day at the office. Maybe a few hours from home would be possible. I think you should reconsider working on Wed.  Good luck with everything you have going.

Hi Dina and mm, I think you are right and I will take the week and following Monday off. Thanks, I need to just let it go and not think of work, especially if I smell. I re-read the information from Papillion again and it did say no showering until the first office visit, 1 week after the BA . Stinky me, I will need do wash up with a wash cloth

Hi Monica, yes I use the one recommended through Papillion, Blaker Associates. I saw her tonight. I see her in person weekly and yes I think it helps. I tell her what specific issues I am having or notice and we work on solutions. I have 4 things to do this week for home work and practice. I keep all the lesson plans and review them periodically and practice all the time. I most likely will do VFS but voice pitch is just one component. I am relearning all the other factors that make a feminine speech pattern. It is hard work but doable. Voice is covered by my health insurance, both therapy and VFS.

I went to the second group I had wanted to attend for a long time. It was good but ends at 9 then a 45 minute ride home then dilating and up at 3 A.M. So I am tired today. I had fun and knew 4 people at the group.

I have had a lot of trouble getting my paperwork for my BA sent to Papillion from Mazzoni. They moved 2 weeks ago and I fear my paperwork is lost. Monday I will call again and ask to speak with a supervisor. I have until 6/17/17 to get them the paperwork.

I no longer am using the nutritionist my trainer recommended and am using a health coach through work. I set three goals and have completed one, not using the nutritionist. Next, to transition to group gym activities and eliminate the trainer. Lastly, to go to the gym 2 to 4 times a week, two classes and 2 core days.

The health coach session was going very well until the last question. Are you or have you suffered from depression. I kept it truthful but light. I did not want to hide but when I explain to a health care person my depression red flags wave. So I said I am seeing a therapist and my pcp is aware and treating me. She had more specific questions but I deflected them.