Hi Alyssa,

  That all sounds really cool and it's great to see you are getting so much support from HR. Go forth young lady, go forth and ummm conquer?  lol

Really Alyssa I'm impressed with the progress you have made since I began reading your posts. You go girl!

  ((((Hugs))))

Laurie

Quote from: AlyssaJ on May 19, 2017, 08:52:07 AM
So a quick update here. Had a long conversation with the HR director yesterday over the phone. She had done a lot of research overnight into how other companies handle transition of employees, things to watch out for, common pitfalls, etc.  Super cool that she put so much time into it and on her own personal time mind you.

We talked about coming out to my management and after talking through the options we actually settled on her presenting it to them in person next week in their regular staffing call.  Our thoughts were if I email the letter and package to them, one might read it right away while the other may not see it for weeks.  Also, by her presenting it, she'll be able to address the immediate questions about how to handle it from a company perspective.  So in the end, I think for our structure and communication style, it's the right approach.

We also talked transition date. She asked if I was comfortable with the date I proposed or if I would want it sooner.  I walked through how I came up with the date I proposed and she was impressed by the thought I put into it.  I stressed with her how I want to be flexible and do what's right for the company and she replied that it's good that I'm doing that but I should also make sure I don't bend too far.

She also brought up an interesting idea of having some form of cocktail hour or other social event post-transition date where my co-workers could meet an interact with Alyssa.  She pointed out something I hadn't really considered and that is people are going to want to know who is Alyssa.  Like what personality traits that they've known in me are just that, my personality and permanent, versus what will change as a result of me transitioning.  I found the idea interesting but kind of cautioned her away from it.  Basically I don't want to make some Caitlyn Jenner type splash out of this.  I definitely don't want to distract the company with my transition and don't want to cause backlash from people who might be allies but get put off by what feels like attention hoarding.

In the end we're going to talk more.  She wants to do an almost "interview" where she can ask me questions to better understand who I am, what my approach is, and so forth so she can answer initial questions from co-workers who may not feel comfortable asking me directly or who are afraid they'll offend me if they say something wrong.  I'm also putting together some links to simple guides on transgender terminology and etiquette at her request.

So far so good, the meeting she has on Wednesday will be interesting.  I've got my schedule cleared and if asked, will join the call, otherwise I'll follow-up with my management afterward.  Fingers crossed but I'm feeling pretty confident so far.


Not quite as impressive as maybe it sounds, it's only a company of 50 people.  I am at a director level so I guess in those terms I am pretty successful but I measure my success more by the fact that I work a job I love, I work out of my home as a remote employee and I'm able to teach others in my industry from the experiences that I have had.

It all sounds great. She's an awesome HR director.

Congratulations on coming out at work. I also glad to here that it seems as though the reception was positive.

Today was a big day!!  Per our agreed upon approach, my HR director used her weekly meeting with my bosses to present to them my letter and transition package.  After the meeting was over, I got an email from the HR director confirming that she had provided the materials and that they were reviewing them.  She told me she reiterated to them that this is no way should change how we work together and everything is business as usual.  She then stated she'll be setting up a follow-up call to begin planning for my transition.

A little later I spoke with her and she shared some more information.  She said their reaction was pretty flat, no real shock or surprise, just very business like.  Apparently the CEO also shared that he has been through this before in a previous company so he is familiar with the process.  Basically, as she described it, it was the best possible reaction I could have hoped for. 

So I'm super excited now.  Knowing that my boss understands transition and how this should be handled in the workplace is huge.  I'm looking forward to the planning meeting to see how that goes.  Hopefully in that meeting we'll finalize my transition date. Very likely, my transition date for work will then also be my date for going full time (especially if we stick to my proposed date or even a little later if they ask for it).

Of course, the real test in all of this will come once I do transition and they now have to start calling me Alyssa and using the proper pronouns.  When it's in front of the full company I'll be curious to see how the dynamics of my work relationships change.  I don't anticipate any terribly negative response but I do expect awkwardness in many of those interactions, especially early on.

For now, I'm just doing my happy dance as another domino in the transition chain has fallen

Yayy! Congrats!!