Quote from: CodexUmbrae on May 06, 2017, 03:11:30 PM
Hii. I'm as short as you, and if it was not enough, I have a really childish face. I'm 18, and although in my school I haven't come out so everybody sees me as a girl, they always say that I look between 12-14 y/o. I'm even smaller than most of the girls in the whole school. I've gone to stores presenting as male and they have asked me where my parents are and if I'm lost or something (at least I passed, as a 12y/o boy but I passed...). So I think I can understand you.

Usually, I'm not that conscious about my height, but you see, my two younger sisters are in the same high school as I, they have the same age but one of them is taller than the other (although both of them are taller than me). The shorter one is almost my height, just a little bit taller, and when I get to see her at school, specially from far away... God, she looks so small and short and tiny and I think she looks kinda ridiculous standing next to taller people. And then I get depressed 'cause people often tell me that I look even smaller than her.

You know, I always had that complex of being short, even before knowing I'm trans. Since I was little, I always was the shorter in class, even in kindergarten. That, together with my social issues, made me grew into a really insecure and shy person, that never defends himself. Well, at least, it's been a long time since people bullied me. Instead, while I don't have a lot of friends 'cause I'm not a social person, nobody messes with me. Yeah, people usually calls me adorable an such but it's kinda ok. People know me in school because I've won several contests and I have an almost perfect grade. Even the people in the contests, the judges and such, recognized me several times.

So, as many people have said, height doesn't define you. It can be a nuisance (specially when you want to get something and it is high and it's out of reach), but well, it's something we can't change at all. And, as someone said before, you won't have to worry about competing with other guys that like to beat up other random guys to "prove" their "manliness".

I can relate with the thing that people sometimes don't take you seriously. Being short and having a baby face makes people think you're an innocent kid that can be easily fooled. I've learned to take that to my advantage. Maybe people will underestimate you, but the satisfaction of proving them wrong is big.

In my case, and taking into consideration that I'm gay, I sometimes come into terms with my height. Just like you said, I get times where I'm ok with it, and with the whole "adorable thing". "As long as I'm confortable being myself, then I shouldn't worry what other people think or say" I think. Then, there are times where I think that I will always be this small and that when I am 25 y/o I'll just look like a joke, like a child pretending to be an adult (not only because my appearance, I'm so unconfortable in social situations that I usually act weird and out-of-place, like... a lost child).

I know it sucks. Specially, by adding up dysphoria. But, think it this way: there are a lot of attractive and successful cis men that are (or were) pretty short. And the satisfaction of achieving the things you want and having a significant other that loves you because of who you are and not how you look, will be worth it.

Ok, I wrote too much. Anyway, I hope it helps at least a little. I understand how you feel.

Thanks for your reply. I, too, look at other people around my height -- or even a little taller -- and think about how small they look from far away. But also, I realize, am I judging them for that? No. It's not something they can change. And does it make them look bad? Also, no. Just different. But no worse. Would they be a better person if they were taller? Would I like them more? ->-bleeped-<- no. So, if someone looks at me, or looks at you, and thinks we're a lesser person or less attractive or whatever since we're smaller -- then they're not a good person. They're judging us on something we can't change. That's how I'm trying to come to terms with it -- I can't change my height, so why keep thinking about it?

I'm instead choosing to focus on the things I can change -- working on things that make me happy, spending time with friends and family, finishing my degree, etc. Sure, my height is something I'm self-conscious about. But I won't let it define me.

I'm 5'2. I understand. I don't have much helpful, other than to say I get it.

I get an overwhelming feeling whenever I think about my height.

I have a spouse and am not really trying to impress anyone, but I still wanna look good.

The worst part for me is that I have always wanted to be over 6 foot. Even before a lot of my dysphoria started acting up. Both my brothers are over 6', and my mom and dad are tall. When I spend time with them it still feels Like I haven't "grown up".

But one thing that makes me feel good, is looking around for other short guys. It helps me keep things a little more in perspective.

I'm 5'2, and I hate my height too... HOWEVER one of my best friends in high school was like almost exactly my height, and male, so that helped me feel better about myself, and we even joked about it.  Another friend of mine was just a little bit taller than us but not by much, so that also helped.  That gave me enough confidence to be able to deal with my height even though I hated it, especially when I compare my height to my feet, which is like the worst thing I could do since I have clown feet.

But anyway, like others have said, what makes a person isn't their height, but how they act and are perceived as a person.  Honestly, for the most part, I don't think people really notice height until its pointed out or they are put in a situation where its like, reaaaaaaaaaaaaally short person next to a reaaaaaaaaaaally tall person, vice versa, or even short amidst a group of taller folk and vice versa.

ALSO if you play sports, you might be able to relate to this philosophy a bit.  Growing up, I was ALWAYS the shortest, but I loved sports.  I never was considered 'good' at any of them, but I did find my height advantageous in A LOT of sports.  My favorite joke to make is, 'Its quite useful when I'm playing basketball, because I can run under everyone and not be noticed.'

Course none of this probably helps internalize that its okay to be a short guy.  And so what if people say you're a cute guy?  You said you want to be seen as a strong type?  Then be that guy.  Besides, ever heard the phrase, 'small but fiesty?'  True statement, small folk quite often are actually really strong.  I think its kind of an adaptation of ours, because we're always getting the short end of the stick (pun not intended) so we gotta be able to overcome it.  I was ALWAYS one of the strongest ones of my friends.  My friends used to tease me that I don't know my own strength.

I'm 4'7" and sometimes questioned if it was even worth it. If I should even get on T and have surgery and all that jazz if I'm so short anyway.

On testosterone, I'm the happiest I've been in a while. There's plenty of short guys out there, even if they're still a little taller than you. If it makes you feel better, now you know someone who's probably shorter.

On the plus side, if anyone gives you trouble you can just kick their shins and walk away (solid advice)

Quote from: williamspace on May 09, 2017, 12:20:35 PM
On the plus side, if anyone gives you trouble you can just kick their shins and walk away (solid advice)

YES!  Kicking people in the shins for the win! I concur!  I mean, um, wait, violence = bad.  Yeah, that. 

Just to put things on perspective, one of the boys that had me and most of the high school girls gushing over all of the time was about 5'3'' tall and very light framed, but really handsome and charismatic.

Quote from: Jennifer RachaelAnn on April 14, 2017, 08:47:10 PM

And how many women do you know who are 6'4", 275 pounds, with a size 15 shoe?? Being tall isn't always a blessing.

At least one. Me

Me too.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

Hey, Kevin Hart is only 5'4...I wonder if that is a stretch too! 

Bottom line, I wouldn't let it bother you.  We all have something that we don't like about ourselves (besides the obvious).  I would say embrace it and turn what you see as an issue, make it an opportunity and turn it into a strength...Look at all the horse jockeys in the world...They must be small for their profession and it does not slow them down.  I know that is a crazy example, but I'd bet at some point they too felt that their stature was a problem.  I know it is all easier said then done but just my thoughts.  By the way, I am 5'7 as a male and short and my older brother is 5'5, my grandfather was barely 5'.   

I am sorry you are having such a difficult time. As trans people we tend to obsess over things that can't be changed. But often the things we obsess over so much are hardly ever as big a deal to others as they are to us. My boyfriend is FtM. For him it's his wrists. His wrists are small but plenty of cis guys have small wrists. Just as lots of cis guys are short.  Being a strong male presence has nothing to do with height.  It's about the man you are. And don't give up on romance either. Yes there are some women who are height obsessed just as there are some who are obsessed with dick size. These people are superficial and I can't imagine they would be good for anyone as far as a relationship is concerned. For a lot of women a nice guy is more important than a tall guy. One if my cis friends is 6'1 and very beautiful. Her boyfriend of 2 years is 5'5. She says that he is a sweet and caring guy and that that is the important thing. Not how tall he is. Also keep in mind that short guys can be super hot and sexy.
Feel better.

Hugs.

I don't endorse it by any means but I feel obligated to let you know there is a cosmetic surgery that lets those who undergo it gain a few inches. It's limb lengthening and much like transitioning it's a deeply personal and costly choice to make but it is possible if you ever become financially able. Although I do believe the best method of coping with feeling how you do would be to try your best to accept it and excel in every other part of your life. You'd be surprised how well that works most times, best of luck

Some solid advice here! I like your responses TinyShain and  Codex, very good points to make.

Also for Codex or other 18s-21s, I dont know how effective it'll be but I hear you dont stop growing until 21, so maaaybe you can hold out for a small bit of extra growth or fine tuning before you feel like your height is final. (I might have to do research that may just be neurologically, but I'm sure late bloomers may have an extra bit of growth, albeit small) So maybe eating healthy and being fit and giving your body the nutrients it needs (assuming genetics isnt the only thing at play with height there) might help a little. Of course, I could be wrong but worst case scenario you give yourself motivation and excuse to be more healthy and active, and Im sure with people who suffer lack of confidence, depression, and motive that could be a good reason to help you along in life.

Edit:  Wasn't totally incorrect on that note http://www.newhealthguide.org/When-Do-Men-Stop-Growing.html
you all are biologically female but those are some good points, you dont know when your body will stop growing until you hit the point where most dont grow. So sleeping, eating well, exercise, and such might help a bit.

Other than that I'm thinking of investing some prospect into height insoles for shoes, dont know how well that goes but a little extra height might make me feel less awkward especially with age.


...and as stated before Ive seen plleeeeenty of guys my height, there's some pretty short cis males from teens to 20s to middle age males. I've never felt too weird about my height for the time being (granted, because I'm still quite young). Your height is probably not going to be too weird in the grand scheme of things

Quote from: Alicia Francesca on April 15, 2017, 01:24:49 PM
On the other end of the spectrum I am 6'2.It makes me sad that will never wear a pair of Christian Louboutin Daphodiles,or a Chanel or Versace dress.😟

Designer dresses aren't the only dresses anyways, I'm sure you can find the perfect looking dress of same merit for you out there and be amazing in it!

(Not to say it isnt nice to have those things, but there's always another way!)

I'm 5'2" and height is one of my bigger worries in transitioning. A couple things have helped.

1) I follow Robert Reich on Facebook (cis male economist/thinker) who is about 4' 10" and commands a ton of respect for his accomplishments. Men are judged more often on what we can do (our accomplishments) rather than purely on how we look. It's important to remember that and draw confidence from it. Find a short guy you admire. It helps me to have that.

2) There are probably exceptions, but most cisgender men don't really noticed how tall other guys are. It just doesn't cross their minds unless something draws their attention to it. I worked with a guy who was 6'5" and he told me that he doesn't see me as short, just average. He guessed my height as 5'6". I would kill to be that tall, but in his eyes, that's what I was. I doubt he's the only one.

*raises hand*
I'm going to vent here because its a very big thing in my everyday life. Feel free to read it, or don't. I don't care.

I brood on this a lot. I'm 5' on a good day, and I hate it. Everyone tries to console me with "oh well so-and-so is this height so its fine" and whatnot, but that doesn't really help in the slightest. 
The fact of the matter is, when I go to hug a woman as my SO, she's going to be resting her head on top of mine, not the other way around. I'm never going to be the one that reaches on top of the fridge to get the pitcher that she's so helplessly reaching for and hand it to her dramatically. I'm never going to be on the same level as most of my peers. Yeah, there's men out there that are this short, but they struggle and have the same feelings about it that we do, for the most part. Heck, my brother is 5'4" and he considers that to be a sucky height. So it's going to suck and make me feel like ->-bleeped-<- because I will never be the person I see myself being.
Just yesterday, I was talking to an NCO that sees me around and sits with me at meals occasionally (wouldn't call him a friend but he's not really a co-worker, either, so IDK). Anyway, we were talking and I said the "sh!t" word casually, and he got really shocked and said "LittleCotton! (the nickname I've been dubbed since my name is Whitecotton and I'm little) You're to innocent to be saying words like that!" I looked at him, like seriously? Then the topic of my ex-husband came up and the SKS (Semi-auto rifle) that he bought me. "What the heck?" And I looked at him again, and I said "What?" "Well, I just didn't expect YOU to have a gun, or an ex-husband!" Of course, I asked him why. His response was that I *looked* to small and innocent to have any of those things, basically saying I looked like a kid who had zero life experience and who would be too immature to actually have a past like that. It's irritating, and I know it's because I'm short. While when another, less-kid looking, 20 YO might have the same experiences or cuss and nobody bats an eye, it automatically it surprises people because I'm so little and that gives the impression that I'm going to have the maturity to match- that of a child. People do it sub-consciously, I think.
It also makes people feel like I need to be taken care of for some reason, and that irritates the heck out of me. I hate it when someone does something for me like takes a box right out of my hands to carry it for me, because I'm "so small and adorable and it looked like needed some help." Like, no. Its not that heavy, and I am perfectly capable of doing it myself, thanks. I'm short, not an invalid. It wouldn't bother me so much if they did it to the guy walking next to me too, who's eight inches taller than me and carrying a bigger box, pretty much proportionally different to my box based on our relative sizes. But since I'm small, I *obviously* need help, and nobody would ever think to ask the other guy if he needed any help, because he *obviously* has it under control.
Its an annoyance, and there's nothing that can make that not be true. Just because someone else is the same height as/ shorter than me, doesn't mean that it won't or can't be a struggle, either just for me or the both of us- everybody deals with it differently.
Its the same concept of "well, just know someone has it worse" I faced as a kid/ young teenager. Okay, yeah, some kid in Africa only gets one meal a week and yes, they have it worse, but it was still hard to live in a house with only half a roof and the only meal I ate being the free lunch at school. Trying to socially diminish a problem doesn't make the problem go away or be any less stressful on the individual, it just makes the person with the problem feel bad for admitting they have it and thinking it is a difficult thing to live with- which often makes the problem worse for the person. When my friends said that "someone has it worse," it only made me feel guilty for my tummy rumbling and being hungry when I went to bed at night, because I did get an apple that day, and someone else didn't even have that. Feeling worse about having the problem only exacerbates it.
So yes, its very difficult, and it sucks. That's the bottom line. It doesn't matter to me that Bruno Mars is only 5' tall, too- I'm sure he faces the same height-related struggles I do every day, and saying that someone else has it or that "it could be worse" doesn't make it just go away. Again- bottom line, it sucks, and we deal with it the only way we really know how to- complain/ vent once in a while and then move on until the next time the frustration builds to untolerable levels; but we all have things we complain about.

This is gonna be my cheesy attempt to make you feel better but they do say dynamite comes in small (tiny) packages. 

Don't feel ashamed of feeling taller or shorter then most.

People are more accepting than we think. We cannot change such things but we can definitely own them.

Hugs
Kelly

After the initial judgement of 0-5 seconds from someone worth knowing, your physical height has been noted, absorbed and probably forgotten. There is nothing about height that can possibly be labelled your own fault; it's certainly not something that can be "held against you" in some especially malicious way, no more than being born can be.

Quote from: PaulaLee on May 29, 2017, 08:53:37 AM
Hey, Kevin Hart is only 5'4...I wonder if that is a stretch too! 

Bottom line, I wouldn't let it bother you.  We all have something that we don't like about ourselves (besides the obvious).  I would say embrace it and turn what you see as an issue, make it an opportunity and turn it into a strength...Look at all the horse jockeys in the world...They must be small for their profession and it does not slow them down.  I know that is a crazy example, but I'd bet at some point they too felt that their stature was a problem.  I know it is all easier said then done but just my thoughts.  By the way, I am 5'7 as a male and short and my older brother is 5'5, my grandfather was barely 5'.   

When you are of short stature you fit in. When you are taller than any normal woman or man for that matter you stick out like a sore thumb. If I were ugly I could try to cover that up with a wig and makeup. Thank goodness, I'm not that ugly. Only women I know who is about as tall as I am are both tennis players. Maria Sharapova and Venus Williams at 6' 2" and 6'1" respectively.

5'3" here. Even as a woman people considered me "short" and I didn't care for it (5'4" is supposed to be the average female height; why is one inch shorter seriously considered to be short?). Or when I was years younger, before I realized I was trans and was feeling very self-conscious in general, I thought I should be about 4'11" instead. I sort of wanted to disappear and not be noticed.

Then as I started to understand myself I very much wished I was 6'0" tall and visibly male.

Side note: Some part of me convinced myself I was after some feminine ideal--I did have an eating disorder as well, after all--or that I was "trying to become a child again," which can be common in abuse victims, I suppose. But I also wanted my shoulders to be notably broader than my hips, for my breasts to be essentially nonexistent, for there to be little or no difference between my waist and hips, and for my waist to be lower on my abdomen. It makes sense now, the fact that I was striving for an androgynous look. Identifying as male and acknowledging it was what I really wanted wasn't safe for me then, really, so I desired the next best thing, I suppose.

Quote from: tinyshain on April 14, 2017, 03:34:11 PM

I've talked to therapists about this. One therapist said she understood, because she was very tall for a woman. Another therapist told me she never noticed my height. Everyone tells me I can't change it so I have to just accept it.
But being short coupled with gender dysphoria suuuucks so hard. I feel like I have to overcompensate by being super fit and having an incredible personality, which has led me to feel exhausted with social interactions and having disordered eating and exercise patterns.

Advice?

I have the opposite problem, and I hope you don't mind me sharing as a MtF.  I am 6'3 with broad shoulders.  When I've talked to therapists about it, they haven't really just said you have to accept it as: "hey, there are genetically born women your height and with your shoulders."  We are both outliers in that we are trans and size wise we don't fit the "usual" size profile.  There is not much I can suggest to help, maybe lifts or different lifts from those you have tried?  But know that you are NOT the only person of your gender that is your size.