Hello Everyone,

Thank you for letting me in. This Forum space is amazing and has already greatly increased the knowledge i need to know for my transition. Please allow me to give a quick overview of me then i'll come to the question.

My name is Vanya, I am 21 Years old, I am Russian/Australian, and i dont really know what my gender identity is as such. I have been Diagnosed with gender dysphoria and have been prescribed Hormones. I have been a bit confused about whether i am gender fluid, gender neutral, or some Transgender Female/gender fluid hybrid. I would like to perform the whole transition including surgery then present in an androgynous manner.

You guys seem to know a lot so my question is: Is it ok for a Transgender female to want to be androgynous from the female end of the spectrum? and could that improve my chances of remaining non-suicidal?

If hormones and surgery reduces your dysphoria and makes you feel good about yourself; then go for it . I identify as mostly male but also a tad agender and take T in order to not be gender dysphoric. I'm also getting top surgery soon as I've always disliked and felt uncomfortable with how my chest looks currently. I would love to look more androgynous but alas I simply don't have that body type or face. So you may want to keep in mind that HRT will most likely not giving you the androgynous body you want and like me you'll have to weigh up the pros and cons of taking it. Even cis people don't like all the changes that come with dreaded puberty 

Quote from: Vanyauey95 on June 04, 2017, 04:17:14 AM
Hello Everyone,

Thank you for letting me in. This Forum space is amazing and has already greatly increased the knowledge i need to know for my transition. Please allow me to give a quick overview of me then i'll come to the question.

My name is Vanya, I am 21 Years old, I am Russian/Australian, and i dont really know what my gender identity is as such. I have been Diagnosed with gender dysphoria and have been prescribed Hormones. I have been a bit confused about whether i am gender fluid, gender neutral, or some Transgender Female/gender fluid hybrid. I would like to perform the whole transition including surgery then present in an androgynous manner.

You guys seem to know a lot so my question is: Is it ok for a Transgender female to want to be androgynous from the female end of the spectrum? and could that improve my chances of remaining non-suicidal?

Hi Vanya

Welcome to Susan's. I hope you enjoy your time here.

If what you want is have an androgynous appearance than that is entirely up to you. It changes nothing about you being trans or not. Whether or not you have surgery is irrelevant to wether you are Trans or not. You do what you need to, in order to deal with your Dysphoria. If you deal with it and you are happy then the chances of feeling suicidal are going to be  much less.

So you are able to get the very best from being here there are a couple of links we give to all our new members

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ElizabethK
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Vanya,

There are many women, both cis and trans, who prefer to present as androgynous, either some times or all the time. How you feel about yourself is nobody else's business except your own. The first and most important thing many of us do is to accept our self as we want to be. If we are not there yet, we work at getting there as best we can.

As for any suicidal thoughts, the hormone therapy has greatly improved my emotional sense of well being. However, we are all different and you may or may not have the same feelings. Your counselor should be the one to advise you on those personal issues.

Hi Vanya,

I'm Laurie. Welcome to Susan's Place. Come on in and have a look around.  Although I have no experience with the things you have indicated about yourself I am sure there are folks here that do. So do come in, make yourself comfortable and take a look at the information available in the wiki and links areas above. Also make sure you check out the posts on the various forums that might interest you.
  We are glad you are here and I hope you find the help with the things you have mentioned.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Hi Vanya,

It is OK to want remain androgynous. Try not to stress out too much over whether to label yourself gender fluid or gender neutral or any other label. While these terms can be useful in explaining yourself to others, they can also be confining.

I actually like being a bit androgynous. I don't think I'll ever feel comfortable presenting super feminine, because that is just not me.

Quote from: Vanyauey95 on June 04, 2017, 04:17:14 AM
I would like to perform the whole transition including surgery then present in an androgynous manner.

You guys seem to know a lot so my question is: Is it ok for a Transgender female to want to be androgynous from the female end of the spectrum? and could that improve my chances of remaining non-suicidal?

Hi,
I am an example of exactly what you describe, and so far have refrained from ending my life.  I have spent years trying to definitively answer those questions and this is what authenticity looks like from where I am sitting now.

I did not hate being male.  It just did not match who I was and eventually that discontinuity or dysphoria became intolerable.  I tried low dose HRT and that was not sufficient and I found solace and truth in transition.  I've had GCS, I am physically female, and I live my life androgynously from the feminine side of the spectrum.  That does not preclude putting on a skirt or a dress and looking as pretty as I can when I choose.  It does mean that I can express myself however I desire, whenever I choose.  The language is ambiguous for gender non-conforming people, which is fine with me because I am equally ambiguous and often quite ambivalent about how I am perceived.  I am usually gendered female in public, but am not at all offended when I am not.  It just isn't that important. 

Hopefully this does not confuse you even more.  The point is to be authentically you and let the rest of the world stew about what that means.

Peace,
JB

Quote from: Vanyauey95 on June 04, 2017, 04:17:14 AM
Hello Everyone,

Thank you for letting me in. This Forum space is amazing and has already greatly increased the knowledge i need to know for my transition. Please allow me to give a quick overview of me then i'll come to the question.

My name is Vanya, I am 21 Years old, I am Russian/Australian, and i dont really know what my gender identity is as such. I have been Diagnosed with gender dysphoria and have been prescribed Hormones. I have been a bit confused about whether i am gender fluid, gender neutral, or some Transgender Female/gender fluid hybrid. I would like to perform the whole transition including surgery then present in an androgynous manner.

You guys seem to know a lot so my question is: Is it ok for a Transgender female to want to be androgynous from the female end of the spectrum? and could that improve my chances of remaining non-suicidal?

Yes.

Quote from: JB_Girl on June 07, 2017, 05:09:37 PM
Hi,
I am an example of exactly what you describe, and so far have refrained from ending my life.  I have spent years trying to definitively answer those questions and this is what authenticity looks like from where I am sitting now.

I did not hate being male.  It just did not match who I was and eventually that discontinuity or dysphoria became intolerable.  I tried low dose HRT and that was not sufficient and I found solace and truth in transition.  I've had GCS, I am physically female, and I live my life androgynously from the feminine side of the spectrum.  That does not preclude putting on a skirt or a dress and looking as pretty as I can when I choose.  It does mean that I can express myself however I desire, whenever I choose.  The language is ambiguous for gender non-conforming people, which is fine with me because I am equally ambiguous and often quite ambivalent about how I am perceived.  I am usually gendered female in public, but am not at all offended when I am not.  It just isn't that important. 

Hopefully this does not confuse you even more.  The point is to be authentically you and let the rest of the world stew about what that means.

Peace,
JB

This is an interesting perspective for me, one that I hadn't considered before. I stopped HRT 3 days ago just because I'm having a huge identity crisis at the moment triggered by a recent breakup. I went from being 200% sure I wanted to transition until the end to doubting everything I'm doing and even regretting getting this far (only 2 months on HRT which is nothing but I've changed a bit appearance wise).