No intention of downplaying that these steps all have elements of joy, but I wanna post some of the more nasty and embarrassing moments of bilateral orchiectomy, penectomy and PI vaginoplasty.

Several weeks of basically looking at painful hamburger between your legs. For me particularly there was the left "inner" labia swollen to the diameter of my pinky finger (I have HUGE hands).

Protein and white blood cell accumulation in & around the neovagina. Basically a continuous accumulation of something not quite like tissue colored yelow-green slowly oozing from all over.

Did they really stretch the skin so tight in pursuit of depth that it feels taught as a G string when I stand up straight? Yes, tight from below the neocltoris to near the belly button.

The smell of new neovaginal discharge. From the very first dilation 3x per day the dilators come out with a scent that I just can't place but it's surely unpleasant. If there's anything my partner gets heroine points for, it's putting up with this stench.

That discharge dripping anytime I walk from peeing and removing the pad to go and dilate. I try very hard not to drip on the floors but in the early stages it's continuous and some accidents happen.

Can't even think of wearing nice underwear until that eases. I estimate I've washed out the 3 pair of mesh hospital panties about 150 times now. Wash, rinse, dry, repeat.

Maxipad, great invention.

Oh, ok the orange ones absorb well with minimal leakage. But oh ->-bleeped-<-e, it's a mistake to wear that wide size for a day of working, chafed my inner thigh absolutely painfully raw. Oh yeah, the label says "overnight"

Wait, you're supposed to remove that plastic backing??! Ok, I'm stupid and my gf confirmed this by laughing at me. 6weeks of watching how I change pads, you'd think she'd notice I'm doing it wrong?

Ibuprofen, I *never* use this stuff for pain. Now it's 3 tablets on 4-6 hour intervals and alternating with Tylenol just to be able to walk around without intense pain down there.

Yeah get focused on some work or doze off for a while and miss a dose by a couple hours? Breakthrough pain really sucks.

Seeing a tendril of dead skin hanging free from your vagina, cut away with scissors.

Finding a huge bulk of dead skin in the maxipad you're changing in the loo in the middle of the workday.

And then of course there's the friends who really should know better that characterize your GCS as elective. Invariably in a group setting when you really don't wanna educate them on well maybe elective if you consider suicide as an alternative.


Ok, enough for now. It's easier to write this now that apparently some of these indignities are passing. All that skin I've shed this week has been followed by my vagina finally taking on a healthy feminine scent. I'm liking the idea that that was the last bits of my old <shenis> falling away and leaving a nice healthy vagina.

I'm curious what of these experiences others have had? What ugly bits I forgot or didn't experience would you add?

Sadie, I believe we're close to the same age and I've also noticed you have a medical background. I'm having GCS on Aug 11th so I always enjoy anything you have to write about your experiences. Not looking forward to this but if you know in advance its a lot easier to handle. Thanks!! Hope this "fun stuff" is all behind you real soon. . . ;-)

Quote from: SadieBlake on June 16, 2017, 07:01:34 AM
No intention of downplaying that these steps all have elements of joy, but I wanna post some of the more nasty and embarrassing moments of bilateral orchiectomy, penectomy and PI vaginoplasty.

Several weeks of basically looking at painful hamburger between your legs. For me particularly there was the left "inner" labia swollen to the diameter of my pinky finger (I have HUGE hands).

Protein and white blood cell accumulation in & around the neovagina. Basically a continuous accumulation of something not quite like tissue colored yelow-green slowly oozing from all over.

Did they really stretch the skin so tight in pursuit of depth that it feels taught as a G string when I stand up straight? Yes, tight from below the neocltoris to near the belly button.

The smell of new neovaginal discharge. From the very first dilation 3x per day the dilators come out with a scent that I just can't place but it's surely unpleasant. If there's anything my partner gets heroine points for, it's putting up with this stench.

That discharge dripping anytime I walk from peeing and removing the pad to go and dilate. I try very hard not to drip on the floors but in the early stages it's continuous and some accidents happen.

Can't even think of wearing nice underwear until that eases. I estimate I've washed out the 3 pair of mesh hospital panties about 150 times now. Wash, rinse, dry, repeat.

Maxipad, great invention.

Oh, ok the orange ones absorb well with minimal leakage. But oh ->-bleeped-<-e, it's a mistake to wear that wide size for a day of working, chafed my inner thigh absolutely painfully raw. Oh yeah, the label says "overnight"

Wait, you're supposed to remove that plastic backing??! Ok, I'm stupid and my gf confirmed this by laughing at me. 6weeks of watching how I change pads, you'd think she'd notice I'm doing it wrong?

Ibuprofen, I *never* use this stuff for pain. Now it's 3 tablets on 4-6 hour intervals and alternating with Tylenol just to be able to walk around without intense pain down there.

Yeah get focused on some work or doze off for a while and miss a dose by a couple hours? Breakthrough pain really sucks.

Seeing a tendril of dead skin hanging free from your vagina, cut away with scissors.

Finding a huge bulk of dead skin in the maxipad you're changing in the loo in the middle of the workday.

And then of course there's the friends who really should know better that characterize your GCS as elective. Invariably in a group setting when you really don't wanna educate them on well maybe elective if you consider suicide as an alternative.


Ok, enough for now. It's easier to write this now that apparently some of these indignities are passing. All that skin I've shed this week has been followed by my vagina finally taking on a healthy feminine scent. I'm liking the idea that that was the last bits of my old <shenis> falling away and leaving a nice healthy vagina.

I'm curious what of these experiences others have had? What ugly bits I forgot or didn't experience would you add?

Thoughts like these have me considering partial, although I am sure that this does not eliminate the downsides.  Glad you feel like you're rebounding a bit.

<---Medical background here too.

Sadie,
Thank you for posting this.  You are indeed mentoring me for my upcoming event. I just want to say that I am in awe of you right at this moment. I don't think anyone can title a thread better than you have. That is AWESOME! Were you ever in advertising? I will giggle about that all afternoon.
Moni

I am sitting here chuckling.  I have good news - It gets better.  But the first couple of months had me wondering if a. I was bloody crazy for doing this? and b. How do natal women tolerate the mess when it comes every month? 

But this I can tell you.  I am grateful beyond measure that something as miraculous as GCS is possible and that the results are as extraordinary as they are.  I love my body as it is now, rather that as it might someday be.

Never-the-less Stephen King has nothing on your ability to make my skin feel tight. "Finding a huge bulk of dead skin in the maxipad you're changing in the loo in the middle of the workday."  So true and so gross.   

Thanks,
JB

Moni (rhymes with honey), you know I wrote it with you in mind and you did get the preview via PM. You're welcome and of course I'm 150% glad to finally be (knocking wood) past some of the worse bits.

Hugs and kisses and I'm looking forward so much to hearing how you go.

Oh and marketing??! Them's fighting words dearest, I'm an engineer (mostly biomedical but I've done all kinds of stuff). In my world marketing is the people that keep asking for simultaneous improvements in features, cost and schedule and make more money than I do (yes I know I'd starve without good sales and marketing people). Anyhow, glad you like the title, I'm just a fan of spaghetti westerns :-).

Jb-girl glad if you got a chuckle, and yes if it's not been easy in every moment, I just keep remembering that many women have traversed this path ahead of us and I know the outcome will be fine. Thanks for affirming my experiences hon.

p.s. dilation no longer involves a huge stream of discharge being displaced every time I insert the dilator and clearly I can soon stop spending money on chux.

My spouse is currently recovering from surgery and is about 2 weeks post op. She is experiencing electric shock sensations in her vagina. She's wondering if anyone else has experienced this and how long it lasts. Also at what point does it get easier to walk? She goes back to work in August and wants to be ready.

Marc, that's nerves reconnecting and yeah I began really feeling that at the 2 week mark. I'm at 7 weeks now and that's pretty much subsided.

As for walking, it varies, I'm still not very comfortable on my feet or sitting for long periods of time. I did 8 hours yesterday and it was doable but far from comfortable. Then again while I heal relatively fast, I've had some complications and I'm 61 and age dies affect healing speed.

Good old nerves reconnecting. For me they  were more of an itch in something that wasn't here anymore and I think that went on for over a year. It peeks out and then gradually drops as time goes on.

Moving up in a dilator sized is fun , as well as increasing depth.

Douching with a volume of soapy water to decrease the amount of feminine fragrance.

The fear that my vagina would not look correct. Fear I would break something when using it

Using the bathroom after someone hovers, just why?

Thanks that's what I was hoping it was. Seems like something new almost every day.

As for discharge, she's really only had blood so far. We tried pads for a short time, but kinda like Sadie, they became uncomfortable. She mainly just runs around the house with nothing on the bottom as it's the most comfortable. We've clipped things off her with scissors. Some pain, and using the narcotic pain meds sparingly.

One thing we're worried about is depth. She didn't start with the number 1 dilator, but started with the number 2. I believe there was a mix up at our first appointment after surgery where they showed us how to do it. Anyway, she was able to push it in where she only saw three dots at first, now it's 4. Seems we lost some depth. She's started using the number 1 and number 2 dilators now and hopefully will get more depth.

I'm hoping my spouse will come on this site and meet some other women going through the same thing as her when she feels better. One thing I regret is that we didn't meet any other ladies while in Philly. There were 4-5 other ladies in the hospital at the same time, but not really any opportunity to meet each other.

Wow Sadie, talk about taking the words right out of my mouth. I've had a lot of those same experiences and I've had ongoing discussions with Dr. Gallagher about adding the issues to the post-surgery documentation. There's no reason why this information shouldn't be standard material for post-care instructions.

For me, the G-String tightness didn't go disappear until about 8 weeks, maybe even 9. I definitely wasn't expecting that.

I would add bladder control to that list. It's not exactly a given. There are still times I turn on the kitchen faucet and end up with pee running down my leg.

The numbness is a bummer. Apparently, renerving happens on the average of 1mm a day. If you've ever looked at a 3d anatomy map you will be amazed at the number of nerves in that area that are cut.

It's very easy to let the aesthetics worry you over the first 8-10 weeks. It's not pretty and it can be painful at times. One the swelling goes down it will come together and you will be really surprised.

Adventures in Orgasms has been interesting. The first time I did it I used a wand and it took about 2 hours. The next day I had all of this blood that pooled under the incision scars at the base of the vagina. I was a bit freaked out about that, but apparently riding on a garden tractor and using a vibrator end with the same result.

Buy Lube off Amazon by the case. You'll save a bundle and use it all.

I was still uncomfortable sitting in a padded chair for more than a few hours until about 9 weeks. That was a bummer.

Granulation around the incisions at the vagina canal opening was/is a problem. Especially in combination with dilation. Those two issues do not play well together. It's been the one lingering problem that's caused me the most anguish so far.

That's all I can think of off the top of my head but I'm sure there is plenty more.

The amazing thing is even after hearing all this I am still looking forward to GCS to complete me. 

As would I be., The fact that my confidence has been shaken, my faith in the decision being the main thing I've had to hold on to for nearly 2 months hasn't been a bad thing. If it might be easier to be someone who's dysphoria had denied them any sexuality pre-op, I can hardly complain if I had to approach GCS as a trade off.

Some people would look at my experience and conclude in my case GCS was elective. Nothing could be further from the truth. I had to accept that there was a risk of losing a sexuality that has been an important support for some sense of happiness for 20 years. Accepting the possibility I may be asexual post op and that that was worth better mental health was key for me.

I've now turned the corner on most of my list above. I'm really happy about this.

QuoteThe amazing thing is even after hearing all this I am still looking forward to GCS to complete me.

I don't want to send the wrong message with this list of unpleasantries. If there's a disservice we create for people preparing for GRS it's the failure to acknowledge the level of complexity and technical difficulty of the surgery in the first place. It's not a procedure that anyone does on a whim. I'm sure with a little effort someone could draw a relationship tree between the surgeons who have or are building a practice around it. There is a lot of cross-training and mentoring across the US and the EU. Although I don't know how much of that shared knowledge extends into Thailand.

My point is, there are challenges involved with GRS recovery for everyone to some degree. The best thing you can do is learn as much about the post-op recovery experience as possible so you're prepared for the messy realities during the first few months afterward. Call it a rite of passage if you will.

I have GCS this Tuesday, although Sadie and others have been great at mentoring me, I really have no idea what I will deal with  in my particular case. It could be the most horrible thing, it is possible. I thought my facial surgery was kind of basic training for what could go wrong.  Now I have picked a better, more caring surgeon, so that is what I can control. From here, it  is an adventure. Each thing will be dealt with. I know not to panic, patience is a must. I also have in the back of my mind that there are a lot of trans folks not able to get the chance I am lucky enough to get. So, I will try my hardest not to complain. This being a life long dream certainly makes that easier. I am prepared that my look, my functionality, whatever might not be where I would like, but I will have body and brain matching for the first time, and that is so important to me. For those who have talked to me, helped me get to this place emotionally, I am extremely grateful. Love to you all.

Good luck Moni!  You have such a positive attitude and all the right reasons for doing this that it cant help but be a success for you. . .

Gail,
Thank you so much, you are very kind.
Moni