I recently came out to my conservative Christian parents. And to my surprise they are very accepting of me. Well now it is time to come out to my grandmother. She is very conservative and very religious. I need suggestions on how to come out to help. I plan on doing it in letter form. She has made comments before along the lines God made you that way and he doesn't make mistakes and she just doesn't understand why anyone would do that. And God said this and God said that. I know there is only one versus that even remotely talks about transgender but it is really about cross dressing. Any help or advice would be great.

All I want to know what if she tell you to get lost ? Would you be able to handle that ?


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Quote from: SophiaElizabeth on July 05, 2017, 09:48:58 PM
I recently came out to my conservative Christian parents. And to my surprise they are very accepting of me. Well now it is time to come out to my grandmother. She is very conservative and very religious. I need suggestions on how to come out to help. I plan on doing it in letter form. She has made comments before along the lines God made you that way and he doesn't make mistakes and she just doesn't understand why anyone would do that. And God said this and God said that. I know there is only one versus that even remotely talks about transgender but it is really about cross dressing. Any help or advice would be great.

God made you transgender, and he doesn't make mistakes

--
"You do realize, this means you get to do character creation & the newbie zone all over again? "

It's a real tough spot. There are only a few passages in the bible that even speak to homosexuals and effeminates, and that depends on how it was translated. In the end the entire judeochristian bias against LGBT comes from the Isrealites making laws against anything that was acceptable to their competitors in the region. If you pay attention the early Torah writings always speak of any other than Iseral being evil. The Babalonians, Soddam, Grimorra, Philistines, Asyrians, Egyptians. The list goes on and on. Early Hebrew law was based on the idea that the Hebrew people were far superior to all others. Hence why being old school Kosher meant a Jew never sat at a table with any gentile. Such was heresy and ileagal. Many crimes were punishable with death by stoning. Women were treat d like property.

One thing you can say is that any true believer must admit that God only ever gave humanity 10 laws and that Jesus himself taught complete acceptance of others and broke many old Hebrew laws. So the trans-negativity broadcast by many churches is in itself very unchristian.

Quote from: SophiaElizabeth on July 05, 2017, 09:48:58 PM
I recently came out to my conservative Christian parents. And to my surprise they are very accepting of me. Well now it is time to come out to my grandmother. She is very conservative and very religious. I need suggestions on how to come out to help. I plan on doing it in letter form. She has made comments before along the lines God made you that way and he doesn't make mistakes and she just doesn't understand why anyone would do that. And God said this and God said that. I know there is only one versus that even remotely talks about transgender but it is really about cross dressing. Any help or advice would be great.

I am looking into having to do the same thing. Someone suggested to me trying to get an ally in the preacher of her church.....
Thing is, my grandmother is more concerned with her appearance to them, so I don't want to embarrass her. (My grandfather is a Deacon and she was so she was worried the church would find out that my youngest aunt [who is in her 30's and previously divorced] is pregnant out of wedlock.)
I am working on compiling some bible versus that might help my case....It might be something worth looking into on your end as well, if you'd be willing to?

Either way I wish you a lot of luck, and know that you're not the only one in the same boat, and at least we all have each other in the end.

Quote from: TinaVane on July 05, 2017, 09:55:00 PM
All I want to know what if she tell you to get lost ? Would you be able to handle that ?


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I don't think it's so much the fear of them telling us to get lost, as the fear of disappointing them. I am very close to my Nana and I'm more concerned with her being embarrassed, disappointed and heart broken...But my family isn't the type of family to "disown" so that' where my personal fears are. Obviously this doesn't count in every case, but if your family truly loves you, even if they are disappointed in you or do not accept your life style, they will still love you when it's hard to...If they're willing to disown you, as much as it hurts, they aren't true family as you grew up believing.

God might not make mistake but there are still birth defects including those cause by thalidomide and DES. While this may not be a visible birth defect, it is the result of something abnormal happening before you were born. I am sure your grandmother knows what thalidomide babies were so you could ask her how she explains that.

I wrote an explanation couched in Biblical New Testament references to help my oldest child, who is a pretty serious nondenominational Christian, understand what was going on. I've posted this before, some time ago, so I hope nobody minds too much if I repeat it:

Quote
I do have an explanation for this that I've used with those willing to listen. (Powered by 12 years in schools studying religion, Latin, and repression...)

God doesn't make mistakes.  God does sometimes grant us gifts to use in our lives, if only we can recognize them. What we do with those gifts matters.

Recall the "Parable of the talents".  A man going on a journey calls his three servants together.  He entrusts 5 talents (a talent is about 80 pounds of silver, roughly 20 years wages at the time.) to one servant he sees as being very able, 2 talents to a capable servant, and one talent to the third servant.  Then, he leaves.  The servant with 5 talents invests them, and makes another 5 talents.  The servant with 2 talents invests them, and earns another 2 talents.  The third servant buries his talent, fearful of risking it.   The man returns after a long period and settles accounts with them.  The first servant returns 10 talents, the original 5 plus the investment gain, and the man praises him, granting him a high position.  The second servant returns 4 talents, the original 2 plus the gain, and the man praises and promotes him as well.  The third servant returns the original talent he buried.  The man decries his wicked and slothful ways, takes the one talent from him and gives it to the servant with the 10 talents.  "For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.  And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."

Now, when I was created, I had a family that was fairly well off, a good home, and I would develop with an intelligent and curious mind, the potential for a good education, as a white male.  I think God looked at this and thought "OK, this one has it pretty easy, and needs a special challenge to fully develop.  I think I'll give this one the soul of a woman and see what they do with that."  God caused my mother and doctor to use a new medication, DES, that made my brain ready to receive a female soul.

Now, having been granted this gift, and realizing what I have, what am I to do with it?  Shall I bury it, hiding it from the light, so at the end of my days I can only return this gift, unused and uninvested?   Or should I bring this gift into the light of day, use it to it's fullest extent, to let it grow and flourish, for the benefit of myself and those around me, so I may return this gift manyfold at the end of my days?

Now, there are those who would have me bury it, suffer in silence, for this gift makes them uncomfortable.  At The End Of Days, they may very well be cast into the outer darkness.  In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. 

Note:  There's a lot of good advice buried in those old books, mixed in with a lot of strange stuff.  But, I was trained by Jesuits...

I suppose using church arguments to argue with church goers is one idea.

Of course that presupposes that "God" is sitting there deciding who will be born, as though rolling out new babies in magic clay dough, zapping them supernaturally with traits, and there is NO science, human will, or nature involved.

That also presupposes that "God" is controlling everything and we are just passive pawns. All birth defects, lethal problems, child abuse, environmental contamination, etc are all ordained of "God." We have zero responsibility for our lives.

With that logic, then nothing we do matters..it's all fate, under God's control.

If so, a transgender person is obviously what "God" wanted and magically made.

You could talk science, but religious people often repeat what their churches teach, without question.

Actually, Jesus said and did the opposite of that teaching. He healed people, so apparently, sickness WASN'T "God's will," he told people who were healed that their own faith healed them. He said anyone could tell a mountain to move and throw itself in the ocean and it must obey them. He scolded his disciples for waking him up to stop a storm that was sinking their boat, asking why they didn't do it themselves. Jesus was all about personal responsibility and our own God authority.