I'm not out to the world, just online, myself and a few select individuals.
Yet when I talk to myself out loud I still refer to myself as "Paul"

"why Is this happening Paul?" for example

I've often talked out loud to myself in solitude

Is this just force of habit of 33 years of calling myself Paul or what?

Sorry for the dumb question

Yeah; it's quite common; it's just habit. I used to think about myself and then call myself by my birth name. Mostly when I was annoyed or frustrated by something.

It is to be expected. It's years of brain washing that will take a bit of un-washing.

Yes, I have dead-named myself a few times.  Twice in public.     Fortunately, one of those times was in front of another trans person, who said, "Don't worry, we all do it."

Welcome to the club! I blurt out the occasional Mike. It goes with the territory.

Hugs, Devlyn

Its sort of the other way round for me, when people who know about me call me Sara sometimes I for a split second I think Who the hell is that!😊
Sara.

Quote from: coldHeart on July 11, 2017, 07:28:13 AM
Its sort of the other way round for me, when people who know about me call me Sara sometimes I for a split second I think Who the hell is that!😊
Sara.

Hee-hee.  Yes, I've done that, too.

Quote from: MissKairi on July 10, 2017, 11:18:30 PM
I'm not out to the world, just online, myself and a few select individuals.
Yet when I talk to myself out loud I still refer to myself as "Paul"

"why Is this happening Paul?" for example

Maybe it's a good idea to take a feminine version of our former name, then it's easier to get use to it, in my former existence I was also known as ''Paul'', when I transition and became female, I just added ''ine'' to Paul and became Pauline, my family quickly got use to calling me Pauline, I brother deliberately insisted on calling me Paul because he was slow to accept my transition, it was only in later years when he realized I wasn't going back, he finally had to accept me as Pauline.

Happened to me today when I did something silly. Been living full time for a year now and still get it wrong now and then.

heard it is quite common

When talking with others I used the genderless I, me, myself and never refer to myself by name. I don't often talk to myself but when I do, I tend to refer to myself by the genderless stupid, idiot and dummy. 

When talking to myself (which happens often), I've rarely in the past referred to myself by name. I've made it a point to actually refer to myself by Sarah now (or female pronouns - as in 'Why did you just do that, girl?' after doing something silly), to help me get used to saying & hearing the name.

I do it all the time, whenever I switch to third person, I have to make a decided effort to remember to call my self Tamara and not OldName


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I've been transitioning for a year.  Mostly I remember that I am Carly.  But every so often I lapse and call myself Chuck.  This seems to happen more when I engage in activities that my past was built around like repairing the cars.  When you've lived too long to please others and even shaped your identity to it, unlearning old habits takes time.

Probably just habit. My habit is different - I've avoided referring to myself internally or mentally by any name at all for as long as I remember (avoidant behavior or maybe just dissociation from the image given to me on my part I suppose). Trying to get myself to use the new name (never mind the old one given to me) and feel good about it depends on force of habit.

your name is just a label, not the same as who you are, or who you were.

You are simply YOU. Call yourself anything you wish.

I've heard of a lot of people dead-naming themselves. It's pretty common and most likely habit.

Quote from: Viktor on July 12, 2017, 05:44:10 AM
Probably just habit. My habit is different - I've avoided referring to myself internally or mentally by any name at all for as long as I remember (avoidant behavior or maybe just dissociation from the image given to me on my part I suppose). Trying to get myself to use the new name (never mind the old one given to me) and feel good about it depends on force of habit.

This is what I've experienced. I've honestly always hated my name and avoided it in any way possible. Only a couple people know my "real" name, so I'm still getting "birthnamed" all over the place. When I do decide to transition into using my new name, I think it's going to be a difficult transition, especially at work.

Hearing my birth name only gives me a slight twinge now that I'm taking derris scandens capsules, which seem to blend my gender modes.
My name in Thai doesn't seem to bother me, since it's pronounced like the French version Rachelle, and Thai don't attach gender assumptions to names.

Only a few close people know my transmale name but when they use it, I glow with happiness.

Answer this question as quickly as you can:  how many boys and girls in your family?  Don't feel bad if you misgendered yourself answering that question.   Post transition, the first time someone asked me that, I almost messed up the answer!  It was a powerful reminder to me to be extremely grateful to people who have known me all my life as someone else yet still manage to use the correct pronouns when referring to me.

In my head, I sometimes confuse my own name. I'm also not really "out" publicly, but I have a tendency to include myself into "female" conversations and topics. I think it probably is a habit thing


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