I've been going by Rachel for a few years now, but it just doesn't seem right. I wanted something close to my not-so dead name (Rene), but I'm not sure if that's the case anymore. How do you go about picking your own name? It's a weird process that I don't quite understand. Any suggestions?

Just find what you like and thinks that will work for you.  I picked Robyn because I've always liked the name but my wife isn't too fond of it so if I change it then I'll let her help me pick a new one. 

The gorgeous blonde behind the gorgeous blonde named the gorgeous blonde Devlyn.

To begin with, I was going to choose something Nordic or Anglo-Saxon, but those kinds of names really seem to stand out in a modern world, when I think I'd rather blend in a bit (not too much  )

At the moment I'm liking Alyssa. The name is a variant on Alicia using the flower name Lyssa, which means 'insanity' in Greek because the flower has psychotic effects when ingested. With a literal Greek translation, the name actually means 'an end/cure for insanity', which I think is pretty much my situation with all this. I still haven't decided, though. It's a big decision and I'd rather not choose something I want to change at a later date.

I think it's also important to consider what shortened versions of the name you might be called. With Alyssa it could be either Lyss or Lyssa, both of which I like. Still indecisive, though lol.

Quote from: FireWolf on July 12, 2017, 05:25:43 PM
I've been going by Rachel for a few years now, but it just doesn't seem right. I wanted something close to my not-so dead name (Rene), but I'm not sure if that's the case anymore. How do you go about picking your own name? It's a weird process that I don't quite understand. Any suggestions?

My given name was Edouard, which is the French version of Edward. I like sometimes being Ed or Eddie still so I chose a name that started with Ed. I found the Celtic name, Edlynn. Mostly only my family calls me Ed, but I prefer Lynn or Edlynn by anyone else.

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Mine is based on my dead name: Keith -> Kathy.  The more I got used to it, the more I liked it.  It feels like me, to the point where I found myself rejecting all kinds of other suggestions.  It has the added advantage of being age-appropriate for my generation.

@Colonel_Panic

QuoteTo begin with, I was going to choose something Nordic or Anglo-Saxon

Why not go with "Lagertha"?  You've already borrowed her picture.   

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vikings_(TV_series)#Cast
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katheryn_Winnick

I wish I could get away with that! Haha

Mine was a process..

I ended up with Tamara after trying a couple of others that didn't feel right.

I really wanted something that started with a T because old-name had started with a T

I also had decided year and years ago that if I ever changed my name Jade would be my middle name, so It was important to me that my new first name worked with Jade and Tamara fits really well.


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As you're seeing from the responses, we all have our own way that we come to discover our chosen name and there is no one right or wrong way.  Some choose a name that has a particular etymological meaning that they like.  Some feminize or masculinize their given name.  Some are very methodical about making a list of age appropriate names and narrowing it down and choosing one they like.  Some talk to their parents and find out what name they would have been given had they been born the other binary gender.

For me personally, I had a very inspirational moment regarding the name Alyssa early on in my gender journey. While I did some of the other steps above, Alyssa just connected with me and felt right.

When I was a kid I called myself Jani. But Jani is the name of my brother's best friend. Can't snatch that name.

I know noone called Oliver. That will be my first name. It has never been in top 10 names in Sweden. A semi-popular name. Not too common, not uncommon.

Same goes for Tony. But I chose Tony because my son's name is Anthon. Then we will have a natural connection.

I will change both of my birth names.

There is no right or wrong way to chose a name. Just pick one you like.

I'm super into numerology and very superstitious, so I went through several name categories from BehindTheName and calculated up the numerology for each, focusing on results of 3, 5, 11, and 22

I ended up settling on Bastian (Baz, for short), which has wonderful numerology


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Mine was a fairly simple transition: Everyone has always called me 'Sam' anyway but I had it legally changed from the lengthened feminine version to Samuel. Everyone still... calls me Sam.
A little underwhelming, but easier for everyone involved (myself included).

This is stating the obvious and I'm sure you've already considered it/declined, but what about Renée? Subtle but poignant.

Quote from: FireWolf on July 12, 2017, 05:25:43 PM
I've been going by Rachel for a few years now, but it just doesn't seem right. I wanted something close to my not-so dead name (Rene), but I'm not sure if that's the case anymore. How do you go about picking your own name? It's a weird process that I don't quite understand. Any suggestions?

Doesn't Renée work for you?  Maybe it's too close for you, but there are very few names with both a female and male version.


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My name is Kelvin, But my friends and family have always call me Kelly  so I have decided to make this my legal name, it just feels right and so natural.

To be quite honest, I've only been going by Alex for a few weeks. I picked Mo at first, because it's neutral and basically a nickname of my deadname. It was easier for me at the time, because it wouldn't raise any questions etc, but it started to feel wrong. Not sure why I picked Alex, though. I like the sound of it, have always loved the name, and it's still unisex/neutral but with a slightly more masculine feel (to me) which is what I've been looking for.

I chose Madeline because I thought it was pretty and I like the nickname Maddie. it took me a long time to settle on a name, it's been years since I decided that I needed one but I had a really hard time with it for a while. I wanted a name that none of my friends had lol, and at first i thought that I didn't seem like a Maddie/Madeline, but after I started coming out to people I noticed that my personality started to change for the better, and that I'm working my way to being a Madeline if that makes any sense

I was given the name Kyle at birth. Never cared for it, whether it was a male or female version of the name

Just picked the name I would have been given by my father if I'd come out right. Knew nobody else with that name.

My birth name is Brian and I originally chose Siobhán as my first name, but I opted to make it my middle name, instead. My wife helped me pick out my first name. At first, she didn't like that I used Siobhán and I thought of Bridget Jayne. After more consideration, and after overhearing my mother talking with my wife, saying, "Might as well be called Jane Doe." That's when I said screw it and chose Bridget Siobhán. It's the name that I chose and people are just going to have to get over it.

Since I was a teen I always favored Jennifer. Now that I have recently come out I still love the name and chose it. It is your name and your life choose what makes you happy is really what it boils down too really.