Hi everyone I have been lost for the last few weeks, I feel lonely, desperate, insecure, annoyed and hurt. I know that it is my fault. The girl that I was seeing told me she just wanted to be friends we have had a 9 plus year relationship. We did not live together or have a life together as I was the other man at the time and I promised her I would wait for her. She did at one time give me the chance to be with her but I declined as I felt she deserved better than me as I knew I had more problems than she could handle me being trans and lyeing to myself was one of them. I Just want someone I can cuddle with, hug, hold or be held at night talk with at night. I want to go on dates and hold hands in public I want a relationship. I honestly don't know how to find one, or have one I know this sounds stupid but I am so confused I just don't want to hurt her as well. I have always had complicated relationship and I think I need someone to teach me. I just dont know anymore. I have always been attracted to females but I am starting to get more attracted to males. I feel so messed up

Freedom is often underestimated. You can do what you want, spend your money on yourself without asking any sort of permission, etc. I envy you.

Find yourself a hobby! People who socialize with other people live longer (by 10 years) and happier.


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I agree with Elkie.  Finding a hobby is a great way to meet people, as long as it is not a solitary hobby like stamp collecting.

Back in my pre-transition days, I had a similar problem: in my 40s and still single.  I deliberately got involved with a hiking club with the goal of meeting a special someone.  Worst case, I would be doing something healthy that I enjoyed, while hanging out with interesting people.  Best case, I might meet the right woman.

Well, it worked.  We met on top of a mountain, hiked together for a while, dated for a while, and finally we got married.  It worked spectacularly well, because we are still together after my transition.  She has the right stuff.

Pick an activity that is meaningful to you, that you can do with other people.  Then join a group that supports that activity.