You were right it was easier than I feared. It was surreal to hear myself share some of my feelings, and sexual experience with a stranger. I felt a burden lifted saying some of these things out loud. Its always nice to have someone reassure you that your not weird or sick. My therapist classified me as a "Q", as I still have a lot to learn about myself. I favor the ->-bleeped-<- label, but as far as I know just in the bed room. (and not always) I'm ok assuming the dominate role sometimes 60/40. I was asked in my fantasies if I'm being dominated by a man or a women? I said "it didn't matter" .
Now to figure out if there is value in me continuing therapy? I shared with my wife all I shared. Even though she's scared, worried she said I'm her world and we'll figure out what I need. I don't need a label to understand myself just a way to dump the guilt. I shared with my wife the first time we role played ( role reversal) when we were done (penetration / etc....) it was such a emotional release for me I cried. This wonderful feeling lasted about 20 minutes and then I was over come with MASSIVE guilt.
 

Quote from: Jazmine on August 04, 2017, 10:56:25 AM
You were right it was easier than I feared. It was surreal to hear myself share some of my feelings, and sexual experience with a stranger. I felt a burden lifted saying some of these things out loud. Its always nice to have someone reassure you that your not weird or sick. My therapist classified me as a "Q", as I still have a lot to learn about myself. I favor the ->-bleeped-<- label, but as far as I know just in the bed room. (and not always) I'm ok assuming the dominate role sometimes 60/40. I was asked in my fantasies if I'm being dominated by a man or a women? I said "it didn't matter" .
Now to figure out if there is value in me continuing therapy? I shared with my wife all I shared. Even though she's scared, worried she said I'm her world and we'll figure out what I need. I don't need a label to understand myself just a way to dump the guilt. I shared with my wife the first time we role played ( role reversal) when we were done (penetration / etc....) it was such a emotional release for me I cried. This wonderful feeling lasted about 20 minutes and then I was over come with MASSIVE guilt.

Well done Jazmine congratulations

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 Hi Jazmin,

  I am sooo glad to hear that you shared these personal and intimate details with your therapist. You are very correct in saying it is uplifting. That burden we carry with us as secrets gets too heavy for one person to bear at times.
  As for continuing with therapy I would highly recommend it. It isn't about defining a lable it is exploring the issues that you deal with on a daily basis, It is discovering who you are. It is getting help to figure out what to do about these personal issues you have. Do not make the mistake of stopping therapy because you not feel some relief. That very fact that the session was a relief from the burden you were and still do carry is reason enough to contue.

  Wishing you and your SO all the best.

Hugs,
   Laurie

One therapist appointment is not enough to get to the bottom of things. How many it will take and when to stop should be discussed with your therapist but only after you have had sufficient time to get everything out in the open. At some point you might consider a few joint sessions with your wife to help smooth out any issues resulting from discovering yourself. You have just taken the first step but there are still many to go.