Quote from: amandam on August 04, 2017, 05:51:15 PMI'm looking for mental/emotional stages.
There really aren't different categories, no. But I do think there are some roughly broad stages to
transition, as a rite of passage, with particular sorts of mental or emotional subtexts to them. Again, these aren't precise or universal, but very very general, and of course can even overlap (they typically do).
Coming OutLots of fear, but lots of excitement and relief, too. During this time we're ritually establishing a new identity with other people, and hoping they'll accept and adopt the narrative we present as we separate ourselves from our previous reality. We're gathering and disseminating knowledge, often engaging with therapists, finding support groups. This can also be a lonely period, as we lose people along the way and come to grips with being so different from other people.
Many transitioners will reverse course at this stage to prevent or mitigate their losses. Others (more and more as our world becomes more progressive) find there was nothing to be afraid of in the first place.
In-BetweenThis is the liminal stage, all about making changes. Electrolysis, hormones, voice training. All the myriad surgeries. Learning makeup and clothes, if we haven't already. Just a lot of learning in general during this period.
It's a time marked by a lot of waiting, too, as well as anxiety. It's as we pass through this stage that our ambiguity is at its greatest. There can be a lot of compartmentalization here -- dressing at home, but not out in the rest of the world, for example.
Full-TimeThis used to be called "the RLE" or "real life experience" but it's really a "rite of incorporation" -- for one's self, at the very least, there's clarity emerging about who we are and what boundaries we're setting for ourselves.
This stage often overlaps with the Liminal, in that when we go full time we're usually not free of ambiguity just yet, which can be especially daunting in the workplace (a lot transitions fall off the rails here because of that). On the other hand, a lot of transitioners find this is exactly where they need to be, and that nothing further is required -- or possible, for financial and/or medical reasons.
Post-OpThis is usually, but not always, an important milestone for transitioners. Having the sex-change operations. It confers a much stronger legal status. It's often the last thing on the "list" of changes to make to one's body. There's a lot of rest and healing up here, but also often a sense of loss, because the thing we've spent so much time on for so long is finally coming to an end.
It's often at this point that transitioners start leaving the world of transition behind. But it's not actually the end of the journey. Because there's still the matter of how we're going to fit in with the rest of the world.
Out or StealthSometimes we have a choice, and sometimes we don't.
There are two general paths that people go on -- living with an open narrative, or practicing non-disclosure (which is predicated on passing). There are different stresses and joys for each path. It's possible to walk both, having an open narrative in some social contexts (like birth families) and a closed narrative in other contexts. In general, though, most transitioners prefer one mode over the other for how they want to be incorporated back into the world.
All of these "stages" can be preceded by the phrase "I am."
