My goodness... Where to begin.
I'll just start with today. I'm tired and feeling flushed after eating carbs (mac n cheese cup) for dinner. It's a miserable feeling. My face feels like it's on fire. WHICH has proven to be a good thing. My body has adjusted well to the trace testosterone levels. So well that, in between check ups, I went into (as my Dr put it) pseudo gestational diabetes. Actually diabetic ketoacidosis. It was due to high levels of estrogen and my pancreas freaking out even after I had been placed on less estrogen than I was on prior to surgery. I've been borderline diabetic for years and have avoided the needle until now. No more and I'm cool with that. I don't want to be diabetic, but I'm glad I know what is going on now. Reducing my meds <again> lowered my blood sugar by half and my bi-weekly shots have knocked off another 25% or so. My high was 474... Yeah, coma levels. I probably should have gone to the ER but didn't. My diabetes Dr chewed my ass out for that one. So yeah... That's one thing. Didn't know where to add this, but I have also been on HRT Spiro, Provera, Estradiol since Nov 2014.
Here is the one that scared me into going to my dr the next day:
Next item would have to be breast growth. They tell you that your mileage may vary on breast tissue growth depending on genetics. I've always had breasts. B cup since I knew what that was. My immediate female relatives both have average to small breasts. One half sister is a health FREAK, so her tiny fat-free booblets don't count. The other... C maybe. Mom??? She has implants. But grandmothers... Different story. Big boobs on both sides. When I started HRT, I was thrilled with my breasts growth. I went up to a solid C. Post orchie, combined with way too much estrogen, my band size is a whopping 10" smaller than my cup measurement. That puts me in the K range BUT actual bra fitment, I am a solid D-DD. I hope to stay there, but with the weight loss due to new strict dietary rules (that I broke tonight and am paying for) I will imagine I'll lose some cup size, but at the same time, I will be losing BAND size as well. One thing I've noticed is their shape. I now have cleavage
, but they aren't what I think of as feminine shaped. They are getting there, but very slowly. OH! Don't think your breasts are going to be identical. Even bio females are asymmetrical... When I get to my target weight, I am definitely getting implants for nothing more than shape and symmetry. I'm OCD about stuff like that. But again, I am waiting to see how much weight I can lose before getting the shapes corrected and not looking like God took them out of the spare parts bin!
Next... The BIG Q!!! YES! I'm still able to orgasm and get semi erect. Let's start with erections. It's been 12 years since I have used my penis for penetration, so I had quite a bit of flaccid penis going on anyhow, but, to my extreme happiness, the getting aroused and a chub didn't go away- yet. It still can, but I'm good with that too. Second, the big O! This is a weird one. I still have orgasms and IMO, much better ones. Very different than what I've ever experienced before. More intense, more physical AND mental. They seem to last longer and I don't feel like taking a nap after... I want to keep going and wanting MORE! "But Rae, you had your testicles removed. How can you orgasm?" Well I now have TWO types of them. One- traditional-ish. You still produce pre-cum via prostrate. It's your body producing lubricant for the semen it thinks is coming down the pipe. I have found out that lubricant continues the entire time you're climaxing, not with pressure like semen, but a steady flow throughout. Amazing doesn't EVEN touch this event. Close second... The "Dry Orgasm". The WHAT? The dry orgasm. All of the feeling and none of the mess! These are usually the second (or 3rd) orgasm in a row. I HAVE had them occur during masturbation but not as often. I am still curious about these and having to practice them for research...
. I feel they are more emotional/mental than physical because I feel more cuddly after these. Prostrate stimulation or anal sex orgasms have increased. It's like my erogenous zones have been rewired to an extent. KEEP IN MIND... This ALL can come screeching to a FULL STOP at any time -OR- you, as a person, may LOSE ALL ability to orgasm after an Orchiectomy. It's sexual arousal roulette. I got lucky... so far. AND AGAIN, I am good with that. My life is NOT all about sex. Being transgender is not a phase or an experiment for me. I will be happy no matter what.
Hair growth. BODY- stopped FACIAL- all but stopped (shave once a week-10 days) and NEVER had laser or any other type of hair removal but shaving! NOSE HAIR- increased and I'm not happy. PUBIC AREA- Just above genitals and between legs (taint lol) and down the inside of my thighs? weird. NEVER had to shave there before.
Fat redistribution. YES. Chest fat has moved down to belly, hips and thighs... oh and pubic mound. I have a pushin' cushion.
Nails... YES!
Muscle tone. I have gone flab. I have non-defined arms and legs now. I was a weight lifter/bicycler/runner 15 years ago and I am used to seeing definition, but since I am not a workout freak anymore, I can't expect to. I am getting back to walking (although other medical issues make this difficult) and may do some light toning exercises as I am able. Face is getting thinner and more feminine, which surprises me some. I expected a little, but people are actually noticing a change (without knowing the story) and telling me how young I look and NO WHERE near my almost 50 years old... This I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!!! Even my son told me the other day that I didn't look over 40 at all! God I raised a good liar!!!
Vision. YEP! My vision has changed. A little for the better according to my eyeball doc. My hearing has changed too. More sensitive to loud, sharp noises... still have hearing loss from being a Deputy (guns and sirens) and being a Home Builder (nail guns, hammers, etc...) that is gone and not coming back, so now I wear hearing protection like I should have all along.
I have experienced a lot of other medical issues but I am not going to get into them specifically because I believe them to be ancillary to existing and underlying medical problems unrelated. For example... Chest pain and shortness of breath. Got a full cardio workup with Stress Test, CAT scan and contrast ECHO tomorrow... and my original symptoms have gone away with my blood sugar getting to human ranges. Still getting the tests and finishing up with Cardio Doc just to just do it. I needed it anyhow. So yeah... There's a million reasons you body 'talks' to you and you should LISTEN TO IT and go to the doctor and let THEM tell you what's going on. Enough preaching...
Everything else is clicking right on along. I am happy. No depression. No being an ->-bleeped-<-. Nothing. Just Raelynn being Rae! Lovin' life!
OH OH OH OH!!!!! One more thing. Ladies and Ladies in process... Do NOT freak out like I did. That funky ass feeling you get every 30-45 days? IT'S REAL! You ARE having your time of the month. I did NOT know that there was such a thing as Irritable Male Syndrome (Google it! Good reading!) until mine was exacerbated with estrogen overload!!! A girl friend and me have our monthlies together... (she's irregular so we just set a date to go eat junk and watch a chick flick!)
That's it for now. Trust me, there is A LOT more going on, but I have an early appt and I am done for the day! HMU if you have Q's!!!
Byeee
Raelynn!
