This October is my brothers wedding and he is inviting me. But there is the problem he is inviting who I was. I have been living full time for more than a year now. He made my card out to my dead name and my gift and place where me and my partner sit is labeled as my dead name.

I realized if I go to this wedding I am going to be dead named by family that refuse to call me on my new name. I have to sit at a place and stare at that name the whole night. I am going to be treated as a freak. I am not going to be comfortable at all. Everyone is already fighting with me on what I should wear. Well that is the funny part as I can dress in male clothing but believe me I don't look like a man. I don't pass as a man anymore. I can go to the shops no makeup in a tshirt with jeans and slops and I still get clocked female so how do they expect I must dress in male clothes. Do they even know that I might break down and end up in rehab again.

What about my male partner how must he feel seeing how this people treat his partner how they hurt me. I know the night is not about me but make it about them and get kicked in the ribs by them just because it is their special day. So I must risk my mental health for their special day. I feel like staying at home. I feel that I must give them the finger and say I won't take their BS anymore.

Personally, I would decline the invitation. I've lost friends and family as a result of going full time 10 years ago. It was the price I had to pay to be happy.
While I've not seen my brother  and sister in ten years, I've found new friends who only know me now, not from before.

I hope your not asking what you should do.

Forget the whole lot of em! Pfft!
So sad when people can be so defiant and ignorant. I would go see no dud wedding where everyone is against me.

Quote from: Rachel_Christina on August 08, 2017, 05:45:22 AM
I hope your not asking what you should do.

Forget the whole lot of em! Pfft!
So sad when people can be so defiant and ignorant. I would go see no dud wedding where everyone is against me.

Sort of because I want to know if I am in the wrong if I show down this invitation.

Hi Amore

They are being incredibly disrespectful. My answer would simple and unwavering. If it was under those conditions I simply would not go.

You are setting yourself up to do some potentially serious psychological damage to youself. Most times I would be carrying on about co-operation, give and take. Not under those circumstances. I personally would be drawing a line in the sand and refusing to cross it. I don't know wether that is possible but if you agree  to their demands, chances are this won't be the last time.

Tell him you'll come, but only if he re-sends the invite with the proper name and places the proper name card at your assigned seat, otherwise just wish him a happy life and call it good.

Well just don't go they are entirely in the wrong.
Probably afraid you would upstage his wench hahaha
You are better than that

Yeah his wife to be is the one that made the ticket and the glass that my dead name is on. So it doesn't look if either of them respect me.

They didn't invite you.  They invited some guy who no longer exists.  The invitation tells you that you are not welcome there.

I would decline the invitation.

Have you spoken to your brother about the invitation? If he admits it was disrespectful and still wants you to be there, then I would just ask that he revise his plans for your attendance so that you can be you. If he insists on keeping your dead name and identity in his plans, then decline the invitation.

Quote from: WhatAmI? on August 08, 2017, 06:51:42 AM
Have you spoken to your brother about the invitation? If he admits it was disrespectful and still wants you to be there, then I would just ask that he revise his plans for your attendance so that you can be you. If he insists on keeping your dead name and identity in his plans, then decline the invitation.

I asked him to revise his plans. He told me to go F myself. Who do I think I am. So I declined his invitation.

Quote from: KathyLauren on August 08, 2017, 06:31:48 AM
They didn't invite you.  They invited some guy who no longer exists.  The invitation tells you that you are not welcome there.

I would decline the invitation.

I actually used this exact words why I am not going also to his wedding as a reason.

Quote from: Amoré on August 08, 2017, 07:13:55 AM
I asked him to revise his plans. He told me to go F myself. Who do I think I am. So I declined his invitation.

Not only would I not go to the wedding, but after that, this would be my last contact with him. Move on, build a new happy life.

Quote from: Charley on August 08, 2017, 07:34:57 AM
Not only would I not go to the wedding, but after that, this would be my last contact with him. Move on, build a new happy life.

I reached a point today where I want to cut people out of my life that don't accept me for who I am.

Send a nice gift, maybe go to the ceremony as you, but skip the reception.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Quote from: Amoré on August 08, 2017, 07:13:55 AM
I asked him to revise his plans. He told me to go F myself. Who do I think I am. So I declined his invitation.

If that's the case, screw it.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Quote from: Amoré on August 08, 2017, 07:13:55 AM
I asked him to revise his plans. He told me to go F myself. Who do I think I am. So I declined his invitation.

If he feels that way, then I really don't understand why he even wants to invite you. I think you made the right decision by declining the invitation. You're saving yourself from a lot of drama.

I got a nasty response asking me who do I think I am. I asked him who do he think he is for dead naming me. Making an invitation on a dead name. Making my name on the table a dead name. I know who I am. I am Amore and I won't tolerate dead naming.They know for 3 years now that I am trans I have been transitioning now for 2 years and living full time for a year. I am tired of the ignorance.

Amore
As hard as it may be just block him from your life, his has no respect for you by using your dead name, its so sad when families don't understand or don't want to know at the end of the day you are still your brothers sibling male or female.
Sara.

Send them matching coffee  mugs with your picture and name on it.  Definitely don't go to the wedding.