Quote from: Gertrude on August 09, 2017, 01:24:28 PM
There are?

It's difficult for me to undo 55 years of programming. If I was out to my kids, that would make it easier. I hate the secrecy. I do have a kilt, although I need to get a custom one as it's too short and I want to get my wife's family tartan anyway. It's all little by little. Clothes that fit right are hard to find too, dresses in particular. While most women may find that a 40" dress is knee length, for me it's 47" and the biggest problem is chest size. I'm 57" now, but smaller around the waist. I found a place called eShakti that does custom tailored stuff and I will try them after I get down to where I want to be, which is around 220. I think if I took hormones and did hair removal, it would help a lot too. Baby steps.

I recall reading an article about one guy working in a construction warehouse in NYC who was always that way and it never was any issue with his customers or colleagues. And another article about a guy working as a car mechanic in FL. Unfortunately, google gives plenty of articles about guys wearing skirts in protest or outside of work, but none to support my prior statement

Still, how about these links to help you unprogram yourself?
https://runninginnj.wordpress.com/2013/06/28/warning-man-in-skirt/

http://www.post-gazette.com/hsother/2010/09/19/Five-boys-on-field-hockey-team-at-Greensburg-C-C-fuels-crossover-debate/stories/201009190217#ixzz26Zs4bfjr

https://www.buzzfeed.com/mathewguiver/i-wore-skirts-for-a-week?utm_term=.lsdxp2EWw#.ykzQzx613

I think sometimes we make trans a burden to ourselves, one of the first steps i take is accepting myself as trans, and by default different.

And the acknowledgement of that difference is still something i don't like for the most part.
CIS woman will have other woman they admire and aspire to be more like. Idols roll models. ect

But for me as a trans woman, that woman i aspire to be more like, is an image of myself.
Im aware of the ways I don't conform to Myself, and this is a burden for me,

Because until I do conform 100% to that, deep down I still on some small level feel less of a woman, and this prevents me from living as the woman I am.

I've accepted myself as trans, now I need to learn how to look past that, in onder to focus on being a woman, and not on being a trans woman.

Quote from: elkie-t on August 09, 2017, 03:38:46 PM
I recall reading an article about one guy working in a construction warehouse in NYC who was always that way and it never was any issue with his customers or colleagues. And another article about a guy working as a car mechanic in FL. Unfortunately, google gives plenty of articles about guys wearing skirts in protest or outside of work, but none to support my prior statement

Still, how about these links to help you unprogram yourself?
https://runninginnj.wordpress.com/2013/06/28/warning-man-in-skirt/

http://www.post-gazette.com/hsother/2010/09/19/Five-boys-on-field-hockey-team-at-Greensburg-C-C-fuels-crossover-debate/stories/201009190217#ixzz26Zs4bfjr

https://www.buzzfeed.com/mathewguiver/i-wore-skirts-for-a-week?utm_term=.lsdxp2EWw#.ykzQzx613

Danke


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Quote from: karenk1959 on August 08, 2017, 08:14:48 AM
I walk in the world and most often when I see a woman, I think of how lucky they must feel, being able to do all things feminine, including wearing feminine clothes and lingerie and make-up. Then I realize that they probably don't think too often about it. For them, it is second nature and part of their identity that they have known all their lives. For me, I obsess constantly over my identity, how it feels to wear women's clothes and make-up and my wrong anatomy. Even if I were to fully transition, I would still always be cognizant of assuming a feminine role. I would be forced to think about how my TG was responsible for my marriage falling apart and the loss of friends. I feel like being TG is a terrible burden that I absolutely hate because instead of focusing my energies on other things and relationships in my life, I am forced to constantly think about my gender. Sometimes it just is too much to bear

I feel your pain, its like looking in a mirror. My marriage, my life i have built around being HIM, my family and friends, i stand to loose them all. For what, a feeling I can hardly convince myself of, never mind anyone else. This is not a blessing, its a curse. If i could get rid of this feeling, i would. This life sucks.

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Quote from: Janes Groove on August 08, 2017, 01:28:07 PM
I've heard this argument before, but I believe it is based on a false premise.  Yes there are cisgender people who reject us but in my experience there are just as many who accept us.  The only way to gauge it is to actually go out and live it. Outside the closet.  A lot of minorities deal with this and have done so for time immemorial.  And one thing they all have in common is they derive profound support from those of their/our kind.

As both a PoC and a transman, I have begun to see this society I live in from a somewhat different perspective. 

Here in America in 2017, I've had to come to terms with the fact that there are certain things I must do in order to continue living safely and not become a statistic. 

For some reason, more African-American men seem to be targeted by the police and are being shot.  I don't know if this has always happened and body cams simply show that it happens, or if its more frequent.  But finally living as my authentic self has forced me to be even MORE aware of what I do in society. 

It saddens me that some of the things I used to take for granted, such as smiling at children playing, can now be seen as a threat.  So I am learning to externally smile a bit less as a man.  But no one can stop me from smiling on the inside, which is what I'm learning to do.

There are other things, both positive as well as negative that I am learning about living life as a man of color.  As my therapist loves to say, "its a process" of learning what's accepted in order for me to remain safe in this society. 

Having the support of my fellow trans-community does wonders not only for me to learn simple things like "how to properly go to the bathroom as a man," but even little things like the difference in the way a woman walks vs a man.

Others that have gone before me are now helping me teach those that come behind me how to be a man.  I still have a long way to go before I too become the man that I should have been born as, but its great to have other transgender friends to cheer me along the way.

Would I go back to my former, dissatisfied self in order to  be able to "live life more safely?"

Not in a million years.

Ryuichi

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Being Sara is a burden big time, she has cost me everything I,m ad & loved, but the fact is she is who I'm am so I just Need to a adjust to being her & hopefully things will change for the good.
Sara

Sara all we want is to be the person we truly are! I'm proud of you and just be u dear! If it cost then old friends were really not truly as good of friends as you imagined!
I'm ready to move forward! I love my spouse but in the end  I'm going forward so the first time in my life I can stop the war in my head!


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I never really thought about being transgender as a burden but it being a very puzzling mystery about myself, plus all the questions it brings to light the main one why now at my age {60}. as some have said it was probably always there just did not know what it was.     

Hmmmmm, I kind of came here and hooked up with all you folks because pretending I was Binary was a burden. I guess life's a burden?

Life is a burden, Living it requires the  burden of effort.
And the effort cant often come with the burden of dis satisfaction.
And being satisfied when others are not, can make us a burden to those others.
Like wise, those others can become a burden due to our satisfaction.