The last couple of weeks I have experienced a massive increase in dysphoria. It is too the point where I am miserable each day of my life. I experience dysphoria as a major discomfort it hurts me and make me end up in tears most of the time.

It feels if dysphoria is feeding off me. I am trying to cope for the sake of my relationship and not to let my boyfriend feel bad because we can't afford the operation at this stage.I try to cry in places that he wont see me or when he is sleeping.He knows I am hurting and feels helpless that he can't help me I feel sorry for him also and guilty that I am bringing this into his life. I just feel the more I transition the bigger the gap of misalignment becomes between me and the male parts that I still have. Especially my still male sounding voice and my penis.

I started focusing on what I can change now and started doing excises to feminize my voice more. It might take months. A thing that worries my psychologist is the damage that might be caused psychologically by this male parts over the given time period. She also say I need the operation as soon as possible because I am ready for it. We talked about getting family to help with the finance of the operation. I have family that can afford the operation. The problem is the one side is not supporters of me. The other side loves me cares about me but cares more about their bank balance. They are even to stingy to enjoy their money themselves. They get enjoyment and satisfaction by looking at the figure in the bank account. So that idea of having my rich family that cares about my needs help me won't work.

I don't know what to do, how to raise funds for this. A loan is not possible at this stage. I am so miserable and down.

Quote from: Amoré on August 14, 2017, 08:52:00 AM
The last couple of weeks I have experienced a massive increase in dysphoria. It is too the point where I am miserable each day of my life. I experience dysphoria as a major discomfort it hurts me and make me end up in tears most of the time.

It feels if dysphoria is feeding off me. I am trying to cope for the sake of my relationship and not to let my boyfriend feel bad because we can't afford the operation at this stage.I try to cry in places that he wont see me or when he is sleeping.He knows I am hurting and feels helpless that he can't help me I feel sorry for him also and guilty that I am bringing this into his life. I just feel the more I transition the bigger the gap of misalignment becomes between me and the male parts that I still have. Especially my still male sounding voice and my penis.

I started focusing on what I can change now and started doing excises to feminize my voice more. It might take months. A thing that worries my psychologist is the damage that might be caused psychologically by this male parts over the given time period. She also say I need the operation as soon as possible because I am ready for it. We talked about getting family to help with the finance of the operation. I have family that can afford the operation. The problem is the one side is not supporters of me. The other side loves me cares about me but cares more about their bank balance. They are even to stingy to enjoy their money themselves. They get enjoyment and satisfaction by looking at the figure in the bank account. So that idea of having my rich family that cares about my needs help me won't work.

I don't know what to do, how to raise funds for this. A loan is not possible at this stage. I am so miserable and down.

Hi Amoré!

Really sorry to hear about your troubles... [emoji853]

Would a loan (even with a very low interest rate) from one or both sides of your family, with a smooth repayment, be a possibility? Sometimes, a bit of diplomacy can go a very long way...

Also, donor-based crowdfunding might be interesting, at least to save for a part of the total. There are many online platforms for that, but I must say I have zero experience.

And of course, as many wise girls have told me many times, try to live outside your transition... transition is just a part of our lives. If you think too much about it, the dysphoria will increase. It does, for me.

Sterkte, meisie! [emoji4]

Sarah

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Quote from: Sarah.VanDistel on August 14, 2017, 09:24:31 AM
Hi Amoré!

Really sorry to hear about your troubles... [emoji853]

Would a loan (even with a very low interest rate) from one or both sides of your family, with a smooth repayment, be a possibility? Sometimes, a bit of diplomacy can go a very long way...

Also, donor-based crowdfunding might be interesting, at least to save for a part of the total. There are many online platforms for that, but I must say I have zero experience.

And of course, as many wise girls have told me many times, try to live outside your transition... transition is just a part of our lives. If you think too much about it, the dysphoria will increase. It does, for me.

Sterkte, meisie! [emoji4]

Sarah

Sent from my SM-T810 using Tapatalk

LOL did not expect the afrikaans are you in South Africa? I did try crowd funding but did not get very far. I see a lot of campaigns on the platforms and 99% of them fail. Mine failed. Like I know my family they would laugh at me if I ask for them to make loans.

Quote from: Amoré on August 14, 2017, 10:07:01 AM
LOL did not expect the afrikaans are you in South Africa?

Nee... In Oost-Vlaanderen (België). Het Afrikaans is een beetje gelijk als het Vlaams. Ik ben een meisje en je bent een meisie! [emoji6]

Quote from: Amoré on August 14, 2017, 10:07:01 AM
Like I know my family they would laugh at me if I ask for them to make loans.

Positively 100% sure? Sorry for asking, but I spent 17 years married to a woman, assuming that she would never ever accept Sarah and in the end she did. I just never seriously asked her before because... I thought she'd laugh at me! [emoji4]

Hugs, Sarah

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Really sorry amore  to hear about this, is there any surgeon who would do SRS on a pay back weekly/monthly scheme! If not do you have any assets you can sell, sounds crazy but this is how I can afford HRT.
Sara.