Congrats!  You are a LOT braver than I am.  A couple of my siblings know, but neither of my parents know.  I'd like to tell them in person, but considering that we're in different states and my Mom's a luddite for the most part, it'll probably end up being via phone.

I agree with toning things down when you meet your Dad.  Maybe a nice pair of slacks and a conservative blouse and a simple necklace, along with flats. 

Ugh, I just showed off my former female self.  Oh well, if its helpful, its worth it. [emoji6]

Good luck!

Ryuichi

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Yeah I'm not planning on anything seriously crazy.  I'm more of a jeans and t-shirt than halter top and mini skirt person anyway.  Flats are most likely but I did just get these really cute boots with a short heel...  It's a long ways off in any case.

I still haven't heard back from dad directly.  My sister started freaking out on me yesterday and after some coaxing it turns out that she, my brother, and my father had decided that by "socially transitioning by the end of the year, possibly a bit sooner" I meant full on SRS and everything.  The $30 I spent on those copies of Transgender 101 apparently was a waste of money.  She did calm down when I explained the real timeline and what social transition actually meant.

Another gem from my sister: "Our concern was you doing something irreversible, and this not being the actual problem.  Some shrinks are very pro gay, and there is fear that yours jumped on the bandwagon." 

That definitely sounds like something my dad would say.  For somebody as highly educated as he is, he sure lets pastors and news anchors do his thinking for him an awful lot.  And boy does he ever hate "the gays." 

My reply: "She is totally pro gay and pro trans if that's what you are.  She is straight and not trans.  She's there to help people, not go on some sort of conversion crusade."

So it may still get ugly on my family front.  I think we're going to drop the bomb on my girlfriend's family this weekend.  They'll take it better for sure.

Quote from: Colleen_definitely on July 29, 2017, 06:54:36 AM
...

So it may still get ugly on my family front.  I think we're going to drop the bomb on my girlfriend's family this weekend.  They'll take it better for sure.

Ugh. It's a wild ride this coming out thing. I'm beginning to encounter resistance and I've hardly started. Good luck with the girlfriend's family. I reckon the response is really unpredictable. I mean, how often does a person have to wrap their heads around the transgender thing? We are the extreme minority in the world of diversity.

That's a fact.  My GF's family is totally accepting of several lesbian and gay couples that are friends of the family and visit often.  And her mom has said repeatedly "I don't care who my kids are with so long as they're safe and happy."

Now her dad?  He is an alcoholic version of mine, so I don't expect him to take it well.  But he was a father in absentia for most of my GF's life so even if he goes off the deep end it's not a huge deal.

3 week update:

Still nothing from my dad at all.

My mom went private on her facespace page, so I can't see what she's posting any more.  Likely the same "woe is me help me pray away my son's ghey" crap.

Sister is still doing OK, and is asking ME about hair care tips, lol.

Brother is still going through a divorce and doesn't really have time to care.  We were never close anyway.

As for friends?  I intentionally came out to one friend I could count on to gossip and gossip he has.  As a result I've heard from several old friends that I have not seen in years all expressing support.  I guess I know who my real family is now.

Colleen, here's a big hug... wishing you the best.  And you are doing your best - you have courage and the world is yours.

Thanks Kendra.  I'm honestly shocked at how well this has gone overall.  Having family support (or even acknowledgement) would be great but I expected to be disowned straight out.  The fact that I have received precisely zero negative responses from friends is what I'm most happy and thankful for. 

Over a month now and still nothing from the old man. 

However, I did come out to my girlfriend's best friend and her husband.  Her reply was "The hair makes sense now. but you do realize that you're obligated to buy me something for my baby shower right?  Also you're coming as Colleen so you better work on your wardrobe."  Those two are being great about it. 

I also gave my girlfriend carte blanche to come out to other friends of hers that I don't interact with in person regularly and they've all been extremely supportive.

We still haven't dropped the bomb on her family.  Schedule conflicts have ruined the two nights we planned so far.  So now we're trying to make it happen next Saturday.

And at the urging of my coworker who went through this a couple years ago, I'm probably going to be starting the ball rolling with HR next week.

I just sent the email telling HR that I'm going full time in January.   

Yes!  So much great news.  Best wishes for Saturday.

As for your parents, their lack of direct support is unfortunate but at least they are not being directly negative and could have been much worse.  It's possible they may change over time.

I'm not without hope for my dad, but my mother apparently told my sister she was happy for me and immediately started into a "oh my son has the gay, help me pray it away lest his soul be lost to the fiery pit" pity party.  My dad is incredibly passive-aggressive, so this is kind of his way of being hostile at least if past behavior is to be trusted.  I think I'll just send him a "being silent isn't helping anything." sort of message.

Otherwise things are going well, this Saturday should be the big day for the girlfriend's family.

And I'm about 10 minutes from my first phone conference with HR.  EDIT: and the HR meeting got changed to Wednesday.

Good luck!

The one thing I couldn't predict, is that the people closest to me ie. family would be the ones who shun and disowned me, but all my friends accepted me. My parents had both passed away prior to my coming out, but I doubt they would have been surprised. What irks the most is I've not seen my brother or sister in 10 years. But on the plus side, I have a new relationship with a half-sister and half-brother who refer to me as sis.

It seems life is progressing for you.  Just stick with it and live your life.  I decided to leave my non-responsive brother alone and let him come to me when he's ready.  It was hard to stop trying but my anxiety is much better since I let it go.

Things are definitely moving along! 

Honestly I expected family to have the hardest time with it.  My friends really surprised me with how accepting all of them have been.

And now, it's an hour before my little chat with HR.  I wish I could say I wasn't nervous.

I'm planning on telling my two sisters this weekend.  I'm getting anxious and nervous about the whole thing.  Kinda have to do it if I want to go with them for a pedicure.

Another checked box on my list, and another situation where I got all worked up over nothing.

My HR point of contact is awesome.  We set up a general schedule outline, made a plan on who to tell when, what sort of announcement to make to the company (I'll do that thank you very much), how to handle customers (see the previous point), which paperwork they are actually going to need, and we are going to have biweekly phone meetings to keep each other in the loop as far as progress goes.

I'm totally relieved.  This is awesome.

Quote from: RobynTx on August 23, 2017, 12:09:11 PM
I'm planning on telling my two sisters this weekend.  I'm getting anxious and nervous about the whole thing.  Kinda have to do it if I want to go with them for a pedicure.

I'm finding it easier and easier with practice.  It was still nerve wracking at the start.

Quote from: Colleen_definitely on August 23, 2017, 12:40:18 PM
Another checked box on my list, and another situation where I got all worked up over nothing.

My HR point of contact is awesome.  We set up a general schedule outline, made a plan on who to tell when, what sort of announcement to make to the company (I'll do that thank you very much), how to handle customers (see the previous point), which paperwork they are actually going to need, and we are going to have biweekly phone meetings to keep each other in the loop as far as progress goes.

Sounds like you have a great HR department.  Congrats.

They have seriously learned a lot from my coworker's coming out a couple years ago.

Came out to the future mother in law last night.  It went as well as expected.  She was a bit surprised but said "Well I don't really understand why but if you're happy, go for it!"

So now there's the two future brothers in law, and that's it other than my girlfriend making a small announcement to her coworkers.

Looking back at how big of a mess I was not eight months ago, I can't really believe I've come this far. 

 Cool!  Feels good doesn't it?