LOL sorry for the alarming subject, I couldn't resist (to make up for it, I included pictures in this post
). I was outed by myself
For those of you I'm not connected with on Facebook, Thursday of last week was a monumental day for me. For a few months now I've asked my wife on occasion if it would be easier for her if I just came out publicly. My plan had always been to do so at some point before I go full-time by posting it on Facebook.
Well a couple weeks ago, she asked me if I'd be willing to do it. I pretty much jumped at the chance. For me this was an opportunity to finally get it out there so my friends and family wouldn't have to keep my secret anymore and so that I would finally be able to talk openly about it. So I prepared a big long post, wrote it up in MS Word and re-read it over and over again making tweaks to be more brief and to clarify topics. The post explained my situation, my decision, and asked my Facebook friends to contact me if they wanted to be added from my new profile or simply unfriend me if they couldn't handle this news.
I sent copies of it out to my sister, my wife and my mother to get their feedback and made more edits. I made pro-active contact with a few people including my employer, who could be affected as people got the information. I also purged my friends list down to only people that were actively a part of my life and who I therefore felt should be included. I went from 455 friends down to 142. Then the big day came!!
Thursday morning, I copy and pasted the text of that post into my Male profile on Facebook. I sat there for a few minutes just starting at the "Post" button. I hovered over it with my mouse, forced myself to take a few deep breaths and then I clicked. That was it. My story was now available for all my friends, family and neighbors to see. I walked away from the computer to shake off the nerves. Within seconds, my phone was blowing up! I was quickly flooded with supportive responses from my friends indicating their desire to be a part of my life moving forward. It was overwhelming as I struggled to keep up and send out friend requests to each one.
The odd thing was that it wasn't until the middle of the day that the enormity of what I had done really settled in. This was truly the end of an era. The end of a time when I had to hide the truth about who I am out of fear and shame. The end of having to pretend to be something I'm not. Sure I'm not full-time yet and have not transitioned yet at work but even there I'm out and have people I can discuss it with. So truly this coming out on Facebook was a major event.
As it stands right now, 116 of those 142 friends have added me on my new profile. That's about 80%. Some of those who came over, were a surprise to me. Unfortunately, I was also surprised by some of those who have not. I thought I had prepared myself for the loss but I'll admit it's more painful than I thought seeing the reality of those who could not stay by my side any longer. I'm hopeful some of them just haven't been on Facebook to see the post, but I also know for sure that some have walked away.
So now it's time for me to make another huge step. I know we have a thread on the MTF forum for this but I really wanted to share this to the wider audience here. I've been dying to share with you all my pre-transition photos, but held back. In fact, no where in the public domain have photos of me in male presentation been shown/stored/posted along side photos of the real me. Well that changes right now. Below are a few pics of me from the last couple years, and some recent ones that I've taken. This is me, this is my past and my future. Finally I can proudly bring the two together as one, my life.
The "Old" Faux Me:
And the REAL ME:
