Hey, I'm Adrien. I'm transgender (ftm) and I run high school cross country and track.
I've been in a dilemma as of late. I don't like running on the girl's team, and having to compete in girls races. I also feel uncomfortable telling the team that I'm a guy only to go and run the girl's team. (I'm out of the closet but my coach doesn't know that I'm trans)
In the state I live in, it is legal for a ftm transgender to run on the boys team with or without transitioning. However, my dad won't let me transition, so I won't be able to take testosterone until I'm 18. In cross country and track there is a huge gap between the girls and boys teams, so pre transitioning I won't have any chance of competing if I'm running on the boys team.
I feel like I have to fake my identity to compete, or run and not stand a chance. (Not to mention i'd get a lot of weird looks)
To be honest, I'd be fine just running on my own instead of doing school sports. Nonetheless, my dad and his family are really interested in me doing well in sports and continuing to pursue them. I'm the best runner on the girl's team and because I'm good at running, it feels like my dad thinks I'm stagnating talent for "my gender problem". It feels like he thinks that being transgender is repressing the "real me" or making me quit the things I love. I think it's my choice to say what I love and what I don't.
I'm really just looking for advice more than anything. I'm not sure what do.