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Getting it right :)

Started by Selene, October 28, 2017, 10:13:45 AM

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Selene

Hello,

I need to properly introduce myself. My first post I asked if this site was a pay site. That wasn't a dispute over the policies of this site in any way, I want to make that clear.

It's just that there are so few legit sites out there. I've seen quite a few that don't have the best interests in mind, or do not follow their own codes of conduct. Both online, and public support support.

From what I see so far, I really appreciate the way it is structured to buffer undesirables away creating a safer place for the community to come together openly.

My story is a long one. I've been subject to all forms of discrimination. Fired from jobs, healthcare discrimination, family rejection, support group bullying, death threats, and violence. I'm not going to get into any of those. They can be triggering to others, and myself. I've found ways to deal with those issues, and others I'm still working on.

I've done that with the help of others. I don't know where I would be without random acts of kindness. Random acts of understanding, and empathy. That is what I see here on Susan's place. I see it already.

I live in north Idaho. It's not the best place for a trans woman. Especially having been outed. I live in a small town, and for a while, about two years I was afraid to even step outside. Local law enforcement was no help for me. I was told by an officer that I create my own problems by being a cross dresser. Which I'm not, and I'm also not judging that. Finding work is possible, I live thirty miles from the a city that has protections from discrimination, but for how much longer is unknown. I can find work out of state, a two hour drive but still well worth it for several reasons.

I'm currently disabled, partly from the last time I was assaulted. Still, I'm not going into that. I'm ready to go back to work after the new year.

I've been through a lot, but along the way someone taught me a very useful tool. Its called Y.A.H.O.O.

You Always Have Other Options. When I was down as far as down goes, no matter how low I felt, I had a glimmer of hope. Sometimes it was hard to see I admit. That is why places like this here are crucial to people in need of support.

I spent years, and thousands of dollars trying to find a way to effectively begin HRT, and maintain it. My internet access at the time was limited. Not so now though.

I came upon a different site that had a transgender forum. I made a post telling about how I kept hitting dead ends with the only process I was aware of the obtain HRT. Someone replied to me with... Other options :)

They told me about the informed consent model, and how it could work for me and my situation. They even have me links to several clinics in my region. I think they may have saved me from a great deal of suffering. I think of what those helpful people did for me every single day.

My first HRT appointment is on November 11th in Renton Washington with Cedar River Clinics.

I live in Idaho because I'm my elderly mother's caregiver. I plan on being here as long as things don't get bad again. It's been a while since I had any trouble. I'm happy, and continue to make a better life for the ones I love, and for myself.

There are times I get lonely though. My local support groups here are not as accepting as I wish they could be. I don't attend for personal reasons. I've talked with many other transgender people across the country who have had similar experiences. That is why sites like this one are so important to those who live isolated.

I appreciate that very much.

Well. That was a little bit about me. :)

Warm regards,

Dana

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Meghan

Hello Dana,

Welcome to Susan's place. You can feel safe here. This is my second home because I am able to express and talk open about my Transgender feeling since I used to grow up in Vietnam. Being Transgender already hard and loney life, since I had been rejected by families and societies. Best regards to you able to move forward.

Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk

Meghan Pham: MtF Transgender, Transsexual, Transwoman, social justice, Caregivers, Certified Nurse Assistant
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Kendra

#2
Hello Dana, welcome to Susan's!

I am MtF in the Seattle area, familiar with North Idaho.  Beautiful geography, excellent motorcycle roads, some great people but unfortunately there are exceptions.  I am sorry to hear about the issues you have encountered in your area, you are very strong and determined.  Getting through all this directly helps your future, and helps others as you are chipping away at obsolete social constraints.  Unfortunately the safety issues can be real and harsh.

I'm originally from a small town of 2,000 people (Arlington, Washington State) just 60 miles (95km) from Seattle but in the 1970s was a world away... through my entire school years there I never heard of a single LGBT individual anywhere in the world.  In fact I wasn't even aware anyone wasn't traditional heterosexual until a Time Magazine article on gays in the 1970s.  I didn't know a few miles south the Ingersoll Gender Center was starting up, now four decades of uninterrupted weekly meetings. 

I was nowhere near coming out back then - quite clueless - but if I had transitioned in 1970's Arlington WA I'm certain the social reaction would have been horrible.  In school I was physically assaulted several times for being the only Asian in the entire school district, school administrators didn't give a damn.  But some small isolated towns can be quite diverse, confirmed when I came out on stage more recently with my band in Roslyn WA (population 900).  Actually I'm on stage again this evening, looking forward to being myself and creating music - loudly. 

Congratulations on your upcoming HRT clinic appointment near Seattle - you're gonna do great.  I don't know how difficult the scheduling is at the clinic you're going to, but if it's possible to move your appointment to mid-week the Ingersoll meeting is every Wednesday evening.  Just an idea.

Dana I'm really glad you're here!  And thank you for writing an introduction.

Kendra
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, HRT 7/2017, GCS 1/2018, VFS 3/2018, FFS 5/2018, Labiaplasty & BA 7/2018. 
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MaryT

Hi Dana,
Sorry to read that you've had such a hard time.  I'm glad that things seem to be improving.  I was also my mother's carer but it must be harder for you, being disabled and more isolated.
Welcome to Susan's Place.
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HappyMoni

Hi Dana, my name is Moni. I am happy to see you here. You have quite a story. I thank you for sharing. U can see by my post count, I've been around a while. I have found this place to be helpful and respectful. We can even joke around and pick on ya, but you have to request that. Just fill out the paperwork in triplicate and allow 6 weeks for delivery. ;D See you around.
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

]
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Roll

Hi Dana!

To paraphrase Moni: You may think by my post count that I've been around a while. I have not, I am fairly new as well, I just post way too much. ;D
~ Ellie
■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
I ALWAYS WELCOME PMs!
(I made the s lowercase so it didn't look as much like PMS... ;D)

An Open Letter to anyone suffering from anxiety, particularly those afraid to make your first post or continue posting!

8/30/17 - First Therapy! The road begins in earnest.
10/20/17 - First coming out (to my father)!
12/16/17 - BEGAN HRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5/21/18 - FIRST DAY OUT AS ME!!!!!!!!!
6/08/18 - 2,250 Hair Grafts
6/23/18 - FIRST PRIDE!
8/06/18 - 100%, completely out!
9/08/18 - I'M IN LOVE!!!!
2/27/19 - Name Change!

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solitary

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Selene

Thank you to everyone for the warm welcome! I appreciate that very much. I do feel welcome with the way others open up and relate to one another, sharing stories, and being candid. I'm stating the obvious :) but that is the true nature of a supporting group. Having just read some responses, and experiences makes me feel much less like a solitary figure of my own - looking out a lonely window with only my own reflection for company. Getting away from becoming too dramatic, but that is how I feel at times. Now isn't one of them though. I honestly feel like I have a safe place to contribute. That means a great deal to me. Thank you again :)

Warm regards,

Dana
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