I really want a deep voice and I'm afraid I'll never have one even on T. I'm scared T will just make my voice a high pitched male voice. I don't want to sound that way. What can I do? I'm afraid I won't get a deep voice ever..
even my girlfriends is way deeper than mine

You're still pre-T right?  Voice changes are often the first thing to change.

Listen to any pre-teen boy's voice.  They change dramatically once puberty hits.  Be patient.  Get a gender therapist, have your Mom help you get on T, and let th  hormone do its thing.  Testosterone is a pretty powerful hormone.  I'm sure that once you're okay-ed for it, you'll find your voice cracking and popping as T does its work.  It takes on average 2-3 years for your vocal cords to settle into their permenant range. 

Don't worry, many of use have similar fears.  And you can always train your voice to be deeper.  There are many videos on youtube that teach pre-T men how to naturally lower their voice.

Good luck.

Ryuichi 

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Take T for a year and train your range. Chances are it will work.

From the studies I've seen, how you articulate stuff tends to be more important than pitch when it comes to how others perceive your voice's gender. So even if you lose the genetic lottery and end up with a voice in the higher male range, it's still totally possible to be read as a man by changing your speech patterns.

But don't give up on T before you've tried it, either. There are a lot of videos where people have documented their voice dropping over their first few years on T. Listening to those might be reassuring for you.