I joined Susan's site this evening and would like to introduce myself. I'm a 59 year old transgendered woman that came to terms with my gender identity about ten years ago. I've identified with being female for as long as I can remember. I read Christine Jorgensen's autobiography when I was teen and readily identified with her and admired the courage that she had to transition in the 1950's. In my mind Miss Christine was a pioneer and in many respects a role model for all transgendered people. However, in 1974 young men weren't supposed to want to become girls and I learned to repress my feelings quite well. I dated girls, drove fast cars, drank beer and enlisted in the Navy when I graduated from high school. I spent twenty two years in the military often volunteering for hazardous and macho assignments and managed to get married twice along the way.
Fast forward to 2009 I found myself divorced and living alone in a new city. I began to explore my feminine feelings by checking out a number of on line sites and soon realized that the emotions that I was experiencing weren't unusual. I began to build my feminine persona as well as my wardrobe. I bought clothes, shoes, lingerie, wigs, breast forms and attempted to learn the art of make up. I remained closeted for a time but I soon decided that I wanted to venture out and see the world as Melissa. I began to explore the LGBT club scene in the city that I live in. I was admittedly quite scared but also thrilled at the prospect of going out. Nearly all of the encounters that I had clubbing were positive and I felt a kinship with many of the ladies and guys that I met when I was out and about. Early on I wasn't really certain what the difference was between a crossdresser and transgendered person. As time went on and the more than I ventured out I realized that I wasn't a crossdresser and being a woman was wired into my psyche. I began to explore this issue with a licensed therapist who has gently encouraged me and helped me to validate my feelings.
For the last several years I have been "stuck" between my realization that I'm not well suited to be a male and the excuses that I've conjured prohibiting me from commencing my transition to a full time status because of how it may negatively impact my work life. At 59 I'm in pretty good health, financially stable and physically still a good candidate for transitioning. I know deep down transitioning is what will ultimately make me happy. With my therapists endorsement I've made an appointment with an endocrinologist to determine if I'm a candidate for HRT. In summary, that's what brings me here tonight. Any positive words of encouragement or wisdom from those that have charted this course before me would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much for reading this.
Melissa
