Gender Dysphoria... When it starts to get better.....

That day when your trash can is filled with almost nothing but mens clothing.

When you get a glance of admiration on the street instead of a "What the <language edited>" stare or a barely audible giggle.

When guys in stores, gas stations, offices and walking down the street first start to flirt with you, honk their horns at you or just smile. (OMFG, TAKE MY WORD FOR IT...IT FEELS SO GOD DAMNED AFFIRMING AND BEAUTIFUL⚘)

When you look people in the eye and dare them "To go there" if they want to challenge you.

When you realize you discovered that grace, poise, pride and determination are not foreign concepts.

When you realize you can stand as tall and as stable in 6" heels as you did in your old combat boots.

When people offer you advice, opinions, judgements or attempt to quantify or negate your personal growth.. AND YOU DON'T GIVE A <language edited> but still manage to laugh....usually at their glaring failings.

So here's my point, most of us trans women haven't had the benefit of lifelong growth that a genetic female experience. We didn't have the joys of feminine puberty and the childhood foundation most women experience. Our bodies weren't blessed with the splendid forms and grace that so many take for granted.
*We had to work at all this stuff... learn it, master it and finally live it.*

I've found that its a huge help to share, journal and LET GO. But be real and true to yourself. If a person stunts my growth, they are gone from my life .... in a New York second! So far....I have no regrets over that....not one.

Let go of toxic people, places and things. Gravitate to the positive people....they are out there.
Love yourself, its critical...more so than any hormone, surgery or sexy outfit....Its a prereq to successful transition and for a balanced life.

I truly hope every woman going though this evolution finds inner peace and the joy of personal success. It is more perfect than most of us ever dared to imagine...even if we are not.
Toni ⚘

<Language edited by moderator>

Toni,  thank you for this positive post. I've yet to experience most of the wonderful and affirming things you mention,  but they sure sound nice.
I'm glad you're journey has taken you to such a good place. X

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Toni yes thank you!!! I just have to jest a little, "I hate you, lol." I say this cause you hit me a little deep on all the things you said and I had to choke back the tears a bit. Don't worry I am happy to have emotions now and share them. It's part of the journey. I think you hit it on the dot and make a very positive point!!!! Thank you !!!

When you transition, just about everything gets questioned to see how it fits in the realignment. It gets better when you start to reacquire confidence. I am working on it.

Moni

Note to mods, I think this was supposed to be on M to F board.

Quote from: HappyMoni on November 11, 2017, 09:13:44 AM
Note to mods, I think this was supposed to be on M to F board.

Yeah, I was really confused for a second.

Quote from: Roll on November 11, 2017, 09:22:48 AM
Yeah, I was really confused for a second.

Maybe this should be in the regular discussion board, since I, as a FTM would also like to add to it.

The day I called customer service  and got a "Hello sir, how may I help you?"

When I was bumped into in a large crowd by a (probably) cis man and received an "excuse me sir."

When I went to the grocery store and asked where something is, and they said "its in isle 5 sir."

Whenever I look into my underwear drawer and see nothing but boxer briefs and sleeveless undershirts.

The day I no longer have to worry about being told by my Mom to "sit like a lady, you ARE one."

The day my grandkids start calling me "grampy."

To finally, FINALLY be able to hold open doors for ladies and NOT have them look at me weird.

The day I realized while singing in the car I can no longer hit those high notes, and yet I can go lower than ever before.

When my vocal cords finally, FINALLY stopped hurting, and my voice was "a nice baritone," according to my musically-trained boyfriend.

When I realised my  bushy sideburns have now met the chin hairs I have.  Its sparse still, but its a BEARD!  And it now shows up in selfies too!

I can finally stop doing SO many of Society's "feminine actions," and be myself, not only in my eyes, but the eyes of everyone else, including people I'm close to.  And its really cool to be able to be "manly" and yet NOT be an ->-bleeped-<-  about it.

Sure, a few of these things have yet to come to pass, but they will!

Ladies as well as gentlemen, it really DOES get better.  Just be patient and remember the lessons you learn along the way.  And be good and kind to YOURSELF as well as others.

Ryuichi

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Quote from: Ryuichi13 on November 11, 2017, 11:11:04 AM
Maybe this should be in the regular discussion board, since I, as a FTM would also like to add to it.

The day I called customer service  and got a "Hello sir, how may I help you?"

When I was bumped into in a large crowd by a (probably) cis man and received an "excuse me sir."

When I went to the grocery store and asked where something is, and they said "its in isle 5 sir."

Whenever I look into my underwear drawer and see nothing but boxer briefs and sleeveless undershirts.

The day I no longer have to worry about being told by my Mom to "sit like a lady, you ARE one."

The day my grandkids start calling me "grampy."

To finally, FINALLY be able to hold open doors for ladies and NOT have them look at me weird.

The day I realized while singing in the car I can no longer hit those high notes, and yet I can go lower than ever before.

When my vocal cords finally, FINALLY stopped hurting, and my voice was "a nice baritone," according to my musically-trained boyfriend.

When I realised my  bushy sideburns have now met the chin hairs I have.  Its sparse still, but its a BEARD!  And it now shows up in selfies too!

I can finally stop doing SO many of Society's "feminine actions," and be myself, not only in my eyes, but the eyes of everyone else, including people I'm close to.  And its really cool to be able to be "manly" and yet NOT be an ->-bleeped-<-  about it.

Sure, a few of these things have yet to come to pass, but they will!

Ladies as well as gentlemen, it really DOES get better.  Just be patient and remember the lessons you learn along the way.  And be good and kind to YOURSELF as well as others.

Ryuichi

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I love that you said that.    +1

Hugs, Devlyn

Now that you say that Ryuichi, it makes sense. Guess you men can have a good idea once in a while.
Moni

Quote from: HappyMoni on November 11, 2017, 12:33:04 PM
Now that you say that Ryuichi, it makes sense. Guess you men can have a good idea once in a while.
Moni

Believe it or not, not all men are ->-bleeped-<-s.  Some of us really DO want to be "nice guys."

And I have NO PLANS on finishing last either! [emoji16]

OOH, what does a "+1" get me? [emoji4]

Also, since this was moved to MTF, I'm wondering if I should start a thread like this in the FTM section.  We men could use some positivity as well as you ladies.

Ryuichi

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Quote from: Ryuichi13 on November 11, 2017, 02:27:11 PM
Believe it or not, not all men are ->-bleeped-<-s.  Some of us really DO want to be "nice guys."

And I have NO PLANS on finishing last either! [emoji16]

I tried to be a nice guy. Unlike most, I succeeded at the nice part, failed the guy part. I think you can go for two for two!

Quote
OOH, what does a "+1" get me? [emoji4]

Depends on what number you started with. For example, 4 becomes 5. 13 becomes 14. 239 becomes 240. But don't ask what 73 becomes. Nobody knows.

Quote
Also, since this was moved to MTF, I'm wondering if I should start a thread like this in the FTM section.  We men could use some positivity as well as you ladies.

Better yet, inclusive thread in main forum!

Quote from: Roll on November 11, 2017, 02:47:14 PMBetter yet, inclusive thread in main forum!

I suggested that when this thread was (accidentally?) placed in the FTM section. 

I think we ALL could use some positivity.  Too much bad ->-bleeped-<- happeneing in the news.

Mods?  Can us men join this positivity, or is it ladies-only? [emoji18][emoji6]

Ryuichi


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Toni, you are SO right! I always knew living as a woman would feel right but I never knew it would feel so good! And 'daring them to go there' is the best feeling of all. Now I go about my day as any other woman and am treated as such. For all of you ladies and gents that don't think you can succeed because you don't have this or that, no hormones or money for surgery etc., you can still move forward. I've had to wait an extra 40yrs. but where there's a will there's a way! I'm old, broke, have a bad leg[use a walker], But I do have a SIL that has a beard thicker than mine and doesn't care and can pinch a penny and get change back! Use whatever resources you can find because it's wonderful here!        I hope your happy Toni, my happy tears flowed and I couldn't use a Kleenex I had to use a paper towel! Ryuichi if the Mods don't let you FTMs in here there will be a revolt! Thank You Toni for putting it into words!!!

Quote from: Ryuichi13 on November 12, 2017, 01:04:10 AM

I suggested that when this thread was (accidentally?) placed in the FTM section. 

I think we ALL could use some positivity.  Too much bad ->-bleeped-<- happeneing in the news.

Mods?  Can us men join this positivity, or is it ladies-only? [emoji18][emoji6]

Ryuichi


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Hi Ryuichi,
   I thought the OP had intended  it for M to F so I said something in my post to the mods, but you are right, it should extend to all of us gender travelers in my opinion. I would love to talk more to the guys on the site. You guys have a lot to say and I love the different perspective. It would be a shame to isolate from each other. We could very well share some valuable information from our experiences.
Moni

Quote from: Ryuichi13 on November 11, 2017, 11:11:04 AM
Maybe this should be in the regular discussion board, since I, as a FTM would also like to add to it.

The day I called customer service  and got a "Hello sir, how may I help you?"

When I was bumped into in a large crowd by a (probably) cis man and received an "excuse me sir."

When I went to the grocery store and asked where something is, and they said "its in isle 5 sir."

Whenever I look into my underwear drawer and see nothing but boxer briefs and sleeveless undershirts.

The day I no longer have to worry about being told by my Mom to "sit like a lady, you ARE one."

The day my grandkids start calling me "grampy."

To finally, FINALLY be able to hold open doors for ladies and NOT have them look at me weird.

The day I realized while singing in the car I can no longer hit those high notes, and yet I can go lower than ever before.

When my vocal cords finally, FINALLY stopped hurting, and my voice was "a nice baritone," according to my musically-trained boyfriend.

When I realised my  bushy sideburns have now met the chin hairs I have.  Its sparse still, but its a BEARD!  And it now shows up in selfies too!

I can finally stop doing SO many of Society's "feminine actions," and be myself, not only in my eyes, but the eyes of everyone else, including people I'm close to.  And its really cool to be able to be "manly" and yet NOT be an ->-bleeped-<-  about it.

Sure, a few of these things have yet to come to pass, but they will!

Ladies as well as gentlemen, it really DOES get better.  Just be patient and remember the lessons you learn along the way.  And be good and kind to YOURSELF as well as others.

Ryuichi

This guy.   

M-F, F-M, the journey is largely the same from a personal standpoint.  Same hurdles, same goals, same discoveries, same joys and same hurts.  You can't believe how often I wish that non trans people could read some of the thoughts I often see here.  I think they'd see that we are people so worth knowing.  I've turned the corner and no longer am the least bit bashful about being trans.  I wouldn't necessarily recommend the journey, but knowing what it takes I'm proud to be a member.  Another Toni     

Thanks all for the wonderful feedback and for sharing your own views. I did post this under the incorrect heading and thanks to the mods for correcting that.
Really though, its as appropriate for FTM as it is for MTF folks. We all know the disquieting and unbalanced feelings that our dysphoria can cause.

Im so glad to see FTM trans guys replying here.
As far as the question that was raised regarding if you are welcome to comment...damn right you are!!!

Again...thank you to all!⚘
Toni 🍃🕊

Quote from: Toni O on November 21, 2017, 06:14:09 AM
Thanks all for the wonderful feedback and for sharing your own views. I did post this under the incorrect heading and thanks to the mods for correcting that.
Really though, its as appropriate for FTM as it is for MTF folks. We all know the disquieting and unbalanced feelings that our dysphoria can cause.

Im so glad to see FTM trans guys replying here.
As far as the question that was raised regarding if you are welcome to comment...damn right you are!!!

Again...thank you to all!⚘
Toni [emoji261][emoji885]

I'm glad I'm not the only one that is glad you started this thread!

Maybe we could ask the Mods to move it into General Discussions so more can participate.  It would be great to see other FTM and MTF people's responses!  Mods?

Ryuichi

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