5 years is a long time. Since graduatitng high school in June 2012 i have moved 4 times to different cities/provinces, I came out to the world as trans in 2014 so 3 years of being out in the open, been on HRT, got my first job, did real self discovery, ect. Seems like 2012 was nearly a bad dream. I thought that those days and people I knew from those days were, by and large with few expections gone-zo's. Yestarday I realized that not everyone you thought was burried in the closet of the past is there forever.

I was shopping with my mom at the mall in the city. Walking towards to food court to use the bathroom I caught a glimpse of this woman and this guy. This guy looked awfully familiar to someone I went to school with, I looked at him for a bit as he did with me. No words were exchanged but I could have sworn it was this guy I went to high school with out east. I told my mom how awkward this is and wondered if it was him. Today, she confirmed my suspecions. It was, if fact he works on the army base in Shilo (I recall him joining the army years and years ago) and she actually breifly met him. In addition, I saw him at my work. I work as a cashier at the moment at this store on the base. I was assiting his friend with the stuff he wanted to buy. Brandon, the guy I went to high school with and myself did not exchange eye contact , or atleast I didnt. Not to be rude but I didnt want to talk to him. It isnt anything personal as he was quite nice to me throughout high school, including in 9th grade when everyone bullied me. However, I am unsure if he would be friendly or even civil with me in regards to me being trans. He could be very open minded, but it has been 5 years and he could be a dink too. Also, now I worry about being outted even more so should he clued into it all.

What does one do?

Hi Ashley,

  It is nice to see you here. Your questions is a good one, unfortunately I have no answer for you. I just wanted to say hello.

laurie

We're you embarrassed?  Not saying you were...but were you? If not, why wouldn't you say hello? Because he might be a jerk? World's full of jerks. What might you have imagined he may have said or done? Would it have made a difference?

The world is a small place. I have a friend who was in Mexico, on the other side of the planet. There she met an old "friend" from school. Who would have guessed.

Be yourself, don't let anyone step on you. Be confident in who you are. You have done nothing wrong. You have no reason to be embarrassed or have anxious thoughts.

Be proud of who you are!


Tony

Talking to someone you don't know well (or at all) is always a risk.  But this is 2017 and you live in Canada, so you can safely assume that most people are okay.  Yes, there are a few cave-dwellers still around, but if they have problems with you, then THEY have a problem.  It sounds like this fellow was okay back in the day.  People seldom change a lot.

Having said that, I too find it embarassing to meet someone who knew me before transition that I haven't yet come out to.  All my coming out so far has been done at my own initiative, all carefully planned.  Being thrown unexpectedly into a situation where coming out is socially appropriate is uncomfortable.  I still have trouble with it.

However, while you may have been uncomfortable with the unexpected situation you found yourself in at the store, the next encounter will not be unexpected.  If he works on the base, he is going to go to Canex from time to time.  You know you will see him again.  So plan how you are going to come out to him, so you can do it on your own terms.

It doesn't have to be in the checkout line at the store.  I can see that that is not a good situation for such a conversation.  Perhaps you can arrange to meet him somewhere more suitable, either by invitation or by "accident".  Perhaps you can ask mutual friends or associates "how he's doing", paying particular attention to what his attitudes are to LGBT people.

I actually connected with my fathers ex wife on facebook the other day and her comment was to me you look the same as when you where a teenager so I did recognize you. I was like damn that sucks I was hoping I changed a lot and she didn't recognize me and say wow you changed a lot.

Hey thanks for the replies. To clear they air I am not ashamed of people knowing I am trans. It is what I am after all. The thing that I dont like is when, even in this day and age, when a few find out someone is trans that persons valid gender gets tossed away and people will see you as your birth gender. I am tired of the '' hes, mans, bros, hims, ect''. I have largley gotten way from that and do not wish to return to similiar days. Also, hello Laurie!

To add, I dont know how his feelings on LGBT are today. I kinda recall he wasnt too big on gays in high school, but one of his best friends came out after grad and they seem to be on good terms still. With that however, doesnt mean he likes trans people or even understands so I will just keep trying to ignore him or if he is my customer limit idol chatter. One of our friends in school by the name of Jordan was a notorious homophobe and bragged about how much of an a-hole he was.. legit, he took pride in hurting others. Tho Brandon was never like that, Idk how he will react if he knows 100%

This is something I've dealt with a few times. I would think that in a city this size I wouldn't run into people I went to school with but I sure have! Not only did they say something they totally outed me. Once I was with a friend who hadn't known I was trans and twice I was with my boyfriend.  Of course he knew I was trans but if he hadn't that could have been a total cluster ####. I always thought if I moved to another city that would take care of the problem but after reading your post I see moving is no guarantee you won't run into someone you knew before. There has only been one time that I ran into someone I knew before where the didn't publicly out me. He looked at me but he didn't say anything. And I certainly didn't say anything to him. I walked away as quickly as possible. I don't think there is anything we can do except really hope we don't run into people from our past. It sucks!

Well I ran into him today at work and this time, for the first time since 2012 we spoke. Nothing re-uniting but very civil and I suppose professional. He and his girl-friend who is very pretty and seem very nice, checked out at my till. While there we did what regular cashier and customer do and exchange words but it was a vibe I didnt expect. It wasnt cold, it wasnt chocking back laughter towards me, it was a rather warm and polite interaction. More or less because I am working and he probably has to go others places, but the exchange between us was better then expected. I guess I best get used to it, I will probably see him every other time I work. Idk, I doubt we will become friends again, as we were more acquanties back in the day anyway, but yes very nice guy!

I am glad the encounter went well. 

I am not sure from your post whether he recognized you or not.  Did he know that you were the person he knew back then?  If not, you might want to pre-plan whether and how you will come out to him.  I'm not suggesting you should, but it would be good to have thought about the possibility before circumstances throw a curve at you, especially if he is going to be a regular customer.

He may have felt uncomfortable. I would have said hello; I understand your apprehension.

Quote from: Rachel on November 13, 2017, 06:39:37 PM
He may have felt uncomfortable. I would have said hello; I understand your apprehension.

In what regards about him feeling uncomfortable?

And Kathy I do beelive he has figured out who I am, just a hunch. Everyone from my highschool town knows I am trans and most know I live in the Praires now lol