I was looking at your picture again. You almost pass now. The only issue I could see was your eyebrows. Hrt will soften and change your face quite a bit. After a while on hrt I think you not only will be passable but very pretty. I totally don't think you will need FFS at all.

Quote from: Roll on November 09, 2017, 01:27:05 PM


So yeah. Looking people in the eye and handing them a lab order for hormone levels was a new experience. I know there are other reasons to get those labs done, but I couldn't help but think the entire time they knew exactly what they were for.

When I went in for my first level check they used my deadname cause I hadn't changed it yet.

"So, (very obvious male name), looks like we're checking your estradiol and testosterone levels today."

I almost died. it's not weird though I guess for them since there is an entire transgender clinic at the hospital I go to and they see lots of trans people. It was just weird hearing the disconnect. I don't have to worry about that happening again though. Trust me, name change is awesome!

Quote from: Roll on November 12, 2017, 09:45:45 AM
I get embarrassed by compliments and couldn't even bring myself to reply at the time, I tend to do the take-in-the-bad-but-not-owning-the-good-along-with-it routine. I'm trying to do better about that!

Here I thought I'd be the only one with this problem but there are a few of us!

Bari Jo

Quote from: Julia1996 on November 12, 2017, 10:58:34 AM
I was looking at your picture again. You almost pass now. The only issue I could see was your eyebrows. Hrt will soften and change your face quite a bit. After a while on hrt I think you not only will be passable but very pretty. I totally don't think you will need FFS at all.

The second I come out to everyone here I'm doing my eyebrows, no questions about it. I'm so excited to see how HRT works for me. I'm trying to reign in my expectations since I know sometimes it does very little, but it's so hard!

So today my entire family was out of town. For the first time ever, I went around the house dressed correctly. To feel free just to go about my day and do stuff without having to worry about changing just to go use the bathroom is incredible. On top of it, I had something that was both hilarious and heartening. My sister's dog didn't recognize me. She started going crazy barking at me when I went downstairs like I was an intruder in the house. I had to take my wig off to calm her down. Then she got crazy excited to see me like I had just appeared out of nowhere. If I look different enough dressed up to a dog who also is primarily going off scent to appear to be a different person, that just blows my mind. (And she's not normally one of those dogs who reacts weird to hats and stuff. My brother has one of those.)

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd.... well, here goes nothin'. Full body shot with new blouse and my standard "hair". I am still a good 40 pounds overweight even for a guy, so keep that in mind. (213 a week or two ago at 5'10".) (Also, I really don't have much underchin fat, not sure why that showed up so prominently here.)

Cu-u-ute!

Ellie,

  I think you look as good as a brunette as you do a blond. I like the blouse  also it is cute on you. Don't be so hard on yourself the picture of you is a good one.

This may or may need to be what you want to hear, but, I wouldn't blink twice or give you a double or triple take, no odd stare, nothing. What I mean to say is, even without hrt, you are Midwest passable.

Also, glad you enjoyed having the house to yourself.

You look great.  Personally, I prefer the brunette look, possibly because it matches your eyebrows.  And I wouldn't worry about the weight too much, unless it is for health reasons.  Women tend to be chubbier than men.

<3 you all for the kindness.

I'm slowly building my confidence, which is hard after years of not having any.

Quote from: MaryT on November 12, 2017, 02:59:53 PM
You look great.  Personally, I prefer the brunette look, possibly because it matches your eyebrows.  And I wouldn't worry about the weight too much, unless it is for health reasons.  Women tend to be chubbier than men.

I like the brunette better too, since it matches my real hair it feels much more real which is what I want more than anything right now. The blonde was a pure 10 dollar splurge just to try something different while I'm stuck with wigs.

Weight wise, I do still need some weight off for health reason for sure, though also aesthetically if I'm wearing anything remotely form fitting. It's all in my belly and thighs (the jeggings hide it well on thighs), which isn't a great look for women and men alike. When I start HRT (hopefully in a few days! ), I'm going to see what it affects and formulate a strategy from there. I want to try to do the lose and gain 5 pounds repeatedly game to "force" some redistribution if it works for me, as well as focus on building more toned lean muscle. I really need to get in the habit of doing daily yoga.

Quote from: Roll on November 12, 2017, 01:44:27 PM
I'm so excited to see how HRT works for me. I'm trying to reign in my expectations since I know sometimes it does very little, but it's so hard!

That is truly hard to do.  Yes some people don't see a whole lot of results, but some people get better results than they ever dreamed of.  You seem like you are in a similar position to what I was in.  You don't have much in the way of overtly masculine features.  Not to say you don't look like a guy when presenting as such.  I clearly did.  Your features are very neutral and that is honestly a good thing.  Once you have been on hormones for a bit you will be amazed at how subtle it happens, but suddenly you just can't pull off the guy look no matter what.  I had really high expectations of how my body would respond to hormones.  I did my best to be realistic and rational, but I still admit they were higher than most.  I was not disappointed.  In fact my expectations were exceeded on so many levels.  By the time you are 6 to 9 months in you will likely be so much happier that even if you don't get the results you want, it will be much easier to accept.  Though I strongly suspect you will see amazing results.

Don't feel bad about the weight.  We are the same height and I was 30lbs heavier than you when I started.  Life circumstances and a lot of emotional/stress eating caused that to jump up another 20 between the 6 and 12 month mark.  Even with that I was clearly feminine.  Since July I've dropped over 30 pounds without even trying.  Just by being happier, more active (lack of depression) and slight changes to what I eat.  The weight has melted off from the stomach and love handles and I'm happy with what I see reflected. (If you look through the few pics I've posted you can see the changes).

The chin is mostly shadow from the angle of your head and lighting.  Don't fret.  You look good as both brunette and blonde.  My first reaction to the pic was omg she is so cute!  Your doing great and will do even better.  I'm happy to see how happy you are.

Amber

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk

You look very cute. The top and pants give your body a female look. I understand you want to lose weight but I have to say your thighs look very female at your current weight. Don't stress about the extra weight right now. It's fine. You're not fat and you look curvy. I read in another of your posts that you will be 6-9 months into hrt before you go full time. I think that will work in your favor. In 6-9 months the hrt will already have caused some changes in your face and it will be easier for you to go full time.

I said so to your post in the Fabulous thread, but I'll say it again here - you look amazing! Very cute. I agree with the others, don't worry overly much about the weight. At the very least, don't hurt yourself trying to burn it off too quickly - just eat at least moderately healthy & be somewhat physically active, and I think you'll be fine.

Again, thank you all for the wonderfully sweet words! It really does mean a lot.

Quote from: Sarah_P on November 12, 2017, 10:56:23 PM
At the very least, don't hurt yourself trying to burn it off too quickly - just eat at least moderately healthy & be somewhat physically active, and I think you'll be fine.

I've been going slow and steady from the start really, averaging about a pound a week. I actually have been intentionally eating a bit more (2k-2.2k calories) a day last two-three weeks to reestablish my baseline metabolism a bit, then I'll drop back down to 1200-1500 and hopefully start losing more again. Not sure how that will play with starting HRT, but will be a fun experiment I guess. (I don't plan to do the yoyo-ing for fat redistribution until a bit more established on HRT so I know it is doing its thing and hopefully down in the 180s at least)

I feel like this is a completely worthless post, but I can't hold it in, my anticipation level is just overwhelming me.

I don't think I've been this excited for something since I was a kid waiting on Christmas morning. I spent all day refreshing my inbox to see if by a miracle my labs had made their way to my HRT doctor (which I just did Thursday so highly unlikely they did) so that she could send in my prescription. I don't want it in a few days, I want it now! It's a totally immature thinking, and it's not like a few days will make a difference in the long run, but I just can't help it. Every time my phone has an e-mail alert I'm like a dog getting excited when the pizza guy shows up, and I just scramble to see what the e-mail is (seriously Groupon, I know I need you for cheap laser but stop getting my hopes up with your local deals spam).

What's really getting to me is even after I get the prescription, because CVS is so expensive I am going to have to use an online pharmacy which means shipping time. I'm going to do the math and see if I can justify having them overnight a 90 day supply (more bang for the buck on shipping). If it still saves over CVS, I think I have to do it.

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, I'm so excited!

Unfortunately, my paranoia has been rearing its head a bit too and I can't help but thinking "What if something is wrong in my labs, what if after discussion with my hematologist they thought of something that is a problem, what if, what if, what if...". Hasn't been too bad, but still nerve wracking when the thoughts do worm their way in.

Calm down girl you'll be okay. You will get your magic pills and you'll begin your own hormonal journey of transformation. It's going to happen, Ellie. Really it is.

 

I know how you feel, but don't worry, everything will be fine!

Don't worry Ellie your princess pills will be in soon enough.

Bari Jo

If this was a family road trip, now's the part I'm kicking the back of the driver's seat and asking "are we there yet?" every 5 minutes.

Quote from: Sarah_P on November 13, 2017, 11:30:00 PM

Why have I never noticed how weird that emoji is before? It looks like it's exploding or being trapped in a pokeball or something.

Quote from: Roll on November 13, 2017, 10:31:11 PM
I feel like this is a completely worthless post, but I can't hold it in, my anticipation level is just overwhelming me.

I don't think I've been this excited for something since I was a kid waiting on Christmas morning. I spent all day refreshing my inbox to see if by a miracle my labs had made their way to my HRT doctor (which I just did Thursday so highly unlikely they did) so that she could send in my prescription. I don't want it in a few days, I want it now! It's a totally immature thinking, and it's not like a few days will make a difference in the long run, but I just can't help it. Every time my phone has an e-mail alert I'm like a dog getting excited when the pizza guy shows up, and I just scramble to see what the e-mail is (seriously Groupon, I know I need you for cheap laser but stop getting my hopes up with your local deals spam).

What's really getting to me is even after I get the prescription, because CVS is so expensive I am going to have to use an online pharmacy which means shipping time. I'm going to do the math and see if I can justify having them overnight a 90 day supply (more bang for the buck on shipping). If it still saves over CVS, I think I have to do it.

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, I'm so excited!

Unfortunately, my paranoia has been rearing its head a bit too and I can't help but thinking "What if something is wrong in my labs, what if after discussion with my hematologist they thought of something that is a problem, what if, what if, what if...". Hasn't been too bad, but still nerve wracking when the thoughts do worm their way in.

I enjoy your posts and enjoy reading them. None of them are worthless.

I know exactly how you feel. When I had my first appointment with my hrt Dr I was totally sure I would be leaving with my prescriptions. She talked to me about it, talked to my dad and had him sign the consent forms. I was waiting for her to take out her pad and write out my RXs.  But she said she wanted to look at all my lab work to be sure everything was ok and to see my T levels. She said to make another appointment in 2 weeks. All I could think was NOOOO! I want it NOW!!!  On the drive home I was all pouty and my dad asked me what was wrong and that he thought I would be happy. Then when I told him he gave me his "are you really doing this" look and said it was only 2 weeks. But right then 2 weeks seemed like 2 years!