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My Prison

Started by Toni O, November 14, 2017, 03:51:29 AM

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Toni O

For years, my walls were built of the hardest veneer.
Impenetrable, slippery and foreboding to those who wanted to glimpse my heart.
                            ❣
Heartbreak and Risk were kept out but good people were also hurt trying to climb my wall.
                             🥀
I protected my fortress with wit, anger, laughter and the sarcasm of the insecure.
                              🖤
Inside the walls it got cold and lonely, it became my prison.
My safe prison.
                              ❄
I stumbled upon a chisel one day. It was made of steel that was harder and more powerful than even the thickest barrier I created.
                              ♥️
I picked it up and I used it.
                              ⛏
Holes formed in the wall and I discovered how cruel it really was inside my cell. How I was the most inhumane jailer...to my prison's only inmate....me.
                               🕯
The chisel is already in your hands too.
                               🌱
Be brave, have heart, take the risk and get out of your own cell before it becomes a life sentence.
                               💝
We're waiting for you on the other side of the wall. 🕊

Toni O
June 16, 2017 🏳️‍🌈🌈⚘
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Megan.

Beautiful, thank you for sharing. X
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JMJW

I feel empowered reading that.  :)
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Bari Jo

I so identify with this so much, thank you!  As my tagline states fear and shame, you won't own me forever.
you know how far the universe extends outward? i think i go inside just as deep.

10/11/18 - out to the whole world.  100% friends and family support.
11/6/17 - came out to sister, best day of my life
9/5/17 - formal diagnosis and stopping DIY in favor if prescribed HRT
6/18/17 - decided to stop fighting the trans beast, back on DIY.
Too many ups and downs, DIY, purges of self inbetween dates.
Age 10 - suppression and denial began
Age 8 - knew I was different
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MaryT

That is beautiful and inspiring.  Thank you.
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Charlie Nicki

That is awesome. Also inspiring. Thanks!
Latina :) I speak Spanish, English and a bit of Portuguese.
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Laurie

 Thank you Toni,

    Your words are so apt to many here. It is sad, some will make their escape and others will not.
April 13, 2019 switched to estradiol valerate
December 20, 2018    Referral sent to OHSU Dr Dugi  for vaginoplasty consult
December 10, 2018    Second Letter VA Psychiatric Practical nurse
November 15, 2018    First letter from VA therapist
May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone



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tgirlamg

Beautifully expressed my dear sister!!!... Once I got a glimpse of what lay beyond my prison walls... I vowed to myself that instant that I would never return to that cell again

Onward we go brave sisters!!!

Ashley 😀
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment" ... Ralph Waldo Emerson 🌸

"The individual has always had to struggle from being overwhelmed by the tribe... But, no price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself" ... Rudyard Kipling 🌸

Let go of the things that no longer serve you... Let go of the pretense of the false persona, it is not you... Let go of the armor that you have worn for a lifetime, to serve the expectations of others and, to protect the woman inside... She needs protection no longer.... She is tired of hiding and more courageous than you know... Let her prove that to you....Let her step out of the dark and feel the light upon her face.... amg🌸

Ashley's Corner: https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247549.0.html 🌻
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Roll

That was beautiful (as are you btw, noticed the profile pic!)!

Though I have to ask, where did you get all the fancy icons? I want some! :D
~ Ellie
■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
I ALWAYS WELCOME PMs!
(I made the s lowercase so it didn't look as much like PMS... ;D)

An Open Letter to anyone suffering from anxiety, particularly those afraid to make your first post or continue posting!

8/30/17 - First Therapy! The road begins in earnest.
10/20/17 - First coming out (to my father)!
12/16/17 - BEGAN HRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5/21/18 - FIRST DAY OUT AS ME!!!!!!!!!
6/08/18 - 2,250 Hair Grafts
6/23/18 - FIRST PRIDE!
8/06/18 - 100%, completely out!
9/08/18 - I'M IN LOVE!!!!
2/27/19 - Name Change!

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