Quote from: Laurie on November 15, 2017, 02:11:15 PM
  Hi Megan

  I'm glad you are feeling better. Your comment on deciding to continue HRT made me think of myself. In all the ups and downs I have had since starting HRT last December, the one constant has been that hrt no matter how bad I feel is right for me. That even when I feel being transgender is at the root of all my problems as I do now, stopping hrt would accomplish nothing. Nothing will change for me, none of my problems would be undone, and nothing would get better by stopping. So I take my hrt because there is no reason to stop.

I feel the same way Laurie. Those bridges are burned beyond a crisp now,  it's forward only for both of us!

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The way is through, not back.

I'm seeing a urologist consultant this evening to hopefully figure out the cause of the blood I've seen, though I'm happy to report I didn't see any at my last 'fun time'.
I'll update back here any results.
On the topic of fun time, 'output' is now almost zero,  so the HRT continues to do is thing. X

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Good luck tonight Megan

Charlotte x

So I'm back for an ultrasound in a couple of days,  and... [emoji853] got to a have a camera up my 'water pipe' as the consultant called it [emoji23]

I call it pre-GRS dilation [emoji48]

At least they're going to sedate me,  must be an early (and really cr*p) Christmas present, cheers Santa!

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One very interesting thing to add is that as a urologist,  he's seen blood in urine/ejaculate in several trans woman as a result of HRT. Said it was well known but never mentioned.
Regardless,  always see you doctor if this happens!

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Thanks for the update Megan.  Interesting he said it was well known.  It makes me want to try to see what happens.  I don't e en know if mine works any more.  Hrt made me not want to even try.  Let us know what the final final final results are!

Bari Jo

  Well good luck on ye olde webcam up ye olde water pipe Megan. I had a catheter inserted when I had treatment for my cancer three years ago.  I was apprehensive because after having my left kidney removed (what started all the cancer problems) many years ago I was in a room with another patient. We were required to be able to empty our bladders before being discharged. I had no problem but the other guy couldn't not perform and chose to have a catheter used to relieve the pressure. To listen to him one would think he was being murdered. Of as for my own experience with one? I found it uncomfortable but no big deal. I doubt their webcam will be any larger that a catheter.  Hope all goes well for you.

Hugs,
   Laurie

I had the scope put up there once. I can't say it was a fun time but it wasn't too bad. I remember feeling it "make the turn". Right then I gasped and held my breath.

Good luck! 

Laurie/Josie, thank you for the reassurances,  I'm sure it'll be fine,  and hopefully they won't find anything bad.

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Quick update: small increase in nipple size, areolas remain unchanged; otherwise, breast tenderness has remained quite constant since it started.
I am still struggling heavily with my emotions. I am hoping this is simply my body and mind working to find a new balance working with a very different hormone balance.

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  Hang in there Megan. The changes are happening and will continue albeit very slowly. Hopefully those emotions will resolve themselves for the better soon. You know where to go and who you can talk to if and whenever you feel the need. You have lots of friends here in support of you.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Quick update: HRT continues to make changes; 'happy time' output is now zero.  But for now,  no issue standing up with some coaxing.

It's subtle,  but I'd also say I've had a slight increase in libido, but not the insistent 'male' one,  it's a much softer desire, in the background.

Got an ultrasound on Friday morning to see what they can see... or not...

Emotionally, I think I'm slowly learning to 'roll with the punches'. Still a wild ride,  any single day can have some pretty big hi's and low's.

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Quote from: Megan. on November 27, 2017, 02:55:38 PM

Emotionally..  any single day can have some pretty big hi's and low's.

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  Tell me about it sister and they usually come w/o any real warning. But it's the subtle pervasive ones that you really need to watch for. The ones that sneak up on you and linger.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Funny thing, since I added micronized progesterone, I'm almost always stable emotionally. It takes something to push me to the downs and ups. Sometimes a memory can make me cry or the first time my big brother referred to me as his sister.

Quote from: josie76 on November 28, 2017, 07:24:43 AM
Funny thing, since I added micronized progesterone, I'm almost always stable emotionally. It takes something to push me to the downs and ups. Sometimes a memory can make me cry or the first time my big brother referred to me as his sister.

Interesting observation Josie. The NHS in the UK don't currently support the use of Progesterone.
I don't want this thread to become another pros/cons argument though! [emoji5]

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13 yrs on HRT and here are my observations:

when E is high enough: I feel VERY stable emotionally, nothing bothers me, I'm CALM. Not only that, but I have energy, feel good and SEXY/confident. Libido also goes up. Skin also becomes quite soft.
low E: I feel anxious, irritable, sleepy/tired, always hungry, not good about myself.

P tends to oppose E so I find that, although for about 1 hour, it makes me feel VERY good (due to sedative effect), it makes me cranky, feel awful afterwards, crave foods, etc...same as when I have low E.

Stay good Megan, hope you're ok

Quote from: broage on December 01, 2017, 03:34:33 AM
Stay good Megan, hope you're ok

Tnx hun. I'm off for an ultrasound at the hospital in a short while; to see what they can see!

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Quick update: An ultrasound this morning didn't show any issues with my kidneys, so there's at least one bit of me that ain't broke; guess it'll be on to the camera next week [emoji853].

Hair-wise,  I do think the HRT has resulted in new hair on my head. I started early July,  and I now have fine hairs all over my head about 2 inches long which would tally time-wise. I hope these will thicken into full terminal hairs over time.


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