Hi everyone, my name is Ann-Marie and I've been out for 8 Years, which wasn't long after I heard about transsexual/transgendered being a thing, until then I had dressed in secret since being a child not knowing why I needed to do this and always being afraid and ashamed.

Nine years ago, I met a transsexual at the place where I worked, and although she probably wasn't the best role model, I got talking to her, and a lot of what she said to me seemed to match my feelings, so I began to look into things, I spoke to people online and went to my doctors, in the process I started to dress part time, it seemed like the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders, and I was for the first time in my life happy.

Then came the horrid time where I had to talk to my family and tell them what was happening, my mum was the hardest, and when I told her she just burst into tears, not because she had lost a son or that she was ashamed, because as she said, it was because of how I must have felt all these years. We talked for a while and I came to think she wasn't telling me something, however she did mention something about a child physiatrist I had been to see when I was around 11 or 12, of course this prompted my curiosity.

I returned to the doctors, this time with the intention of checking my medical records, and there it was, a letter from said person with a diagnosis of gender dysphoria, with the recommendation that I nor my mum were not told of this in case my behaviour was encouraged. This was back in 1979, (how different my life would have been now) and following recommendations I was sent away to boarding school.

Of course I was angry about this, and things happened which ultimately ended up with my incarceration in prison, I am not proud of what happened and have dealt with those demons, now I am out of prison and trying to put this time behind me, and put my life back together, however during my time incarcerated the authorities put every barrier in my way to ensure I couldn't start my treatment, however I was allowed to go to the gender clinic, first of all I went to the northern clinic after waiting for two years, were I was assessed every month for 9 months, I was about to start hormone treatment when I was transferred to a prison in the south. So, I had another two years wait to get to the London clinic, then lies from the prison healthcare meant I didn't start treatment whilst there.

I have been out two months now and am starting my meds, I am also having CBT to help me deal with a traumatic past. all I hope for now, is that people will accept me for who I am and let me rebuild a life I once had.