For a long time in my life, I thought I was a cross dresser. I found myself drawn to dressing, but it was never a satisfying experience. I was embarrassed by it and hated the term ->-bleeped-<-. It was confusing to be compelled to be something that did not bring satisfaction. Flash forward to now and I know I am transsexual, which fits very nicely for me. It now all makes sense. So, I am curious to hear from those who might classify themselves as cross dressers. Is it satisfying to dress with no thought of body changes? Is it hard to integrate being happy with being a male and yet liking to indulge in feminine pursuits?
Moni

Good question Moni, I can only echo your own feelings,  but I'm curious too.

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Freedom is / can be plenty crushing, also another word for nothing left to lose of course.

I did in fact get satisfaction from cross dressing, usually for sex so it was really that sex gave me satisfaction respite from dysphoria because it was something I liked to do (and have only done for 20 years) dressed.

Until, of course it didn't anymore.

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I have been dressing for 30+ years and I find it relaxes me and I feel so much better and more comfortable, I have been thinking awhile though that it is not enough and I have an appointment this week with a therapist to discuss my gender questions.
Hope that helps?

I think it is personal for everyone.  My answer is NO.   I am not satisfied if I could get to a doctor right now and have my adams apple reduced, FFS surgery, and start hormones immediately I would.  I made life decisions 10 years ago that place priority over how I feel.  Some people I feel are quite content.  For me dressing is kind of like a drug, it relieves the pain for a little while, but within two weeks I miss myself (if that makes sense).

Hi Moni,
For me dressing calms me down and I feel more at peace but I find each week I am needing more.
If I want to be true to myself, I would love to have breasts, dress full time but I do not have the dysphoria about my lower parts.
It is only a matter of time before I pierce my ears and even my navel. This will help me be closer to who I really am.
So in answer to your question, it's not fully satisfying without thinking of changes but I am grateful for the freedom I do have to dress at home.

Moni,
I grew up in an all female household and always wanted to be like the older girls. So I was.
Now I am boy/girl about 60/40 percent of the time. I get satisfaction from being able to enjoy both styles. I like the expanded fashion choices of woman styles. It helps that I am a bit of an exhibitionist and like attention. It also helps that I enjoy bi-sexual encounters.

let me first say how lovely you look. to answer your question,  I have dressed off and on for over 55yrs.  early on it was cause I wanted to be a girl.  then for sex, then back to wanting to be a girl again.  I hate the junk between my legs.  would love to have a nice figure , nice breasts, and pretty face.  I guess we all dress for our own reasons. best wishes to all

I think crossdressing can be quite satisfying by itself, if you do it openly and without any shame attached.

At first, you do it at home. Then it gets boring and you venture out and seek acceptance of society in general.

But once you satisfy your crossdressing curiosity, chances are you'd start wondering how better you might look without facial hair, with your own hair instead of a wig, and with real breasts... and that would bring you on to a transition path.

To some people it might look like a dangerous sliding path. But after all, it's your body and your curiosity and there's nothing wrong to enjoy the ride while it lasts. We will all die at the end.


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People make a distinction between the body and its surfaces; the latter is all CDs are concerned with, supposedly - clothing, makeup, hair.  But aren't those in a sense part of the body?  I feel like I'm modifying myself when I paint my nails. 

CDs want to maintain their selves as males too, in the classic sense anyway - there are all sorts of gradations involved here, after all.  But your bread-and-butter CD wants to be a man, with everything that entails, and then become a woman for a short spell, to the naked eye at least, and revel in the feeling that gives.

I wanted to just be a CD but couldn't stop shaving hair off like crazy or thinking about developing secondary sexual characteristics, the idea of having nigh-unto-zero libido or being part of a group of other women just thrilled me.  For decades I thought things like this were just passing pervy fantasies.  Wrong!  (buzzer on game show set sounds)   

Crossdressers who have treatment for prostate cancer and grow a bit of man boobs and lose their sexual drive become seriously depressed, I've read, so I could tell what direction I was headed in.  It's interesting to me how CDs always want to look like a million bucks, and are preening in mirrors and taking thousands of snapshots.  They're fellow travelers of ours and I'm always wondering what makes them tick.

For me it's a exploration of the feminine self. Since my mother died at a young age, no sisters, Aunts or any sort of female presence around. I got curious about being a woman/girl. Thus Gwen was born. Finding out a lot on this journey so far and always more to learn.

Yeah I thought at first I was just a cross dresser and always wearing female clothes and nail polish on. 😆 lmao ha ha. But it was bugs me so much that I wanted to have a sex change surgery and growing my breast as well. I dress up so much and I didn't get any better  it just got worse for me that I could not be a real female. I did the night clubs and going out with other cross dressers but I felt like something was wrong and missing. Then without any warning I realized that I am a female trapped in the body of a male. 😆 💖 lol  so I decided to get help with getting hrt and becoming a real female and hopefully in the future I will have srs surgery. ? ? 😆 💖 xoxo

Hey ya,

I've had a constant curiosity with CDing for a while and I've tried it a few times! I dunno how I feel right now other than it's kind of confusing why I feel like this (wanting to look like a girl and put on makeup), but I suppose I'll just go with it. That's why I'm here! I want to learn more from other people. It's been satisfying so far because for a guy I have a really effeminate figure so I finally get to compliment it and that really excites me! I'll have to see where this takes me before I can say more..

I crossdress and I love the lingerie, makeup, heels, stockings etc.

But I need more. I am dying to induce lactation. That would make me a real woman.     

Well, it seems I may be the first to answer who is completely comfortable with both sides of my gender. In fact, if I could have the power to shapeshift, I would alternate between my male and female forms depending on my mood and/or situation. There are times when I am perfectly comfortable in my "man skin" and other times when I prefer to be Elise.

I'm in my mid fifties and I've been a closet cross dresser for about 45 years. When I was younger I wished I was a girl, but there weren't a lot of transgendered resources back then, so I never considered transitioning as an option. As a young teen, I felt that if I wanted to dress like a girl, then I must be gay. So I tried experimenting with a gay friend and quickly found that wasn't the answer. Still liking to dress, but definitely being attracted to women, I used to always joke that I was a lesbian trapped in a man's body. (That joke kind of turned on me though when my first wife had an affair with a woman [who is now her wife]).

Anyway, I consider myself a realist. I know that I can't go back in time and be reborn as a female. And even if I could, it would mean I would lose my children. I fully recognize that because of my physical size and features, I could never be "passable". And because I have family and a professional reputation that I must protect from the narrow minded majority out there, I could never dare come out of the closet. So, I really have no option but to remain a closet cross dresser. 

And I'm really okay with that. Being Elise let's me escape from reality for a little while and become a kinder, gentler, version of myself. I love the way I feel in women's clothes, and I enjoy trying to create the illusion of a pretty feminine version of myself. I often fantasize about being a real woman, but it's just that -- a fantasy. I then return to the reality I also love. The reality where I have loving children, grandchildren, brothers, sisters, parents, a career I love, etc.

And the male version of me comes in handy too. Just today I had to change the alternator in my car, and the bolt was so rusted that I needed every ounce of my 215 pound "man frame" to wrench it free. So having both of us around comes in handy!

Moni,

For me, cross dressing was a kick that lasted all of three or so weeks and then I realized that it was all about becoming the woman that I needed to be. It took me a year or two to get there but I have never been happier. At that original three week mark, if it turned out that I would not be able to get past just dressing from time to time and not living as me, I probably would have tried to give it up while I had any semblance of control (if I ever really had any).

Tia Anne

Quote from: Anne Blake on January 05, 2018, 07:23:26 PM
Moni,

For me, cross dressing was a kick that lasted all of three or so weeks and then I realized that it was all about becoming the woman that I needed to be. It took me a year or two to get there but I have never been happier. At that original three week mark, if it turned out that I would not be able to get past just dressing from time to time and not living as me, I probably would have tried to give it up while I had any semblance of control (if I ever really had any).

Tia Anne

Yeah, dressing gave me peace, and it made me realize something had to change.

Hugs, Devlyn

I cross dressed for a long time because answers and help was not that readily available. I actually wanted to come out in 1984. My Mom and Dad had died and I didn't want to disappoint them earlier, although I had been dressing since I was seven, I went to therapy at least six other times over the years. Whenever the angst of not being who I truly believe I was meant to be. Eighteen months ago I finally addressed my life long dilemma. A lifetime of stress over keeping secrets disappeared. I always wanted to go all the way but my health won't let me, so I'll settle for a healed mind over a healed body.

Quote from: EliseMichelle on January 05, 2018, 04:49:33 PM
Well, it seems I may be the first to answer who is completely comfortable with both sides of my gender. In fact, if I could have the power to shapeshift, I would alternate between my male and female forms depending on my mood and/or situation. There are times when I am perfectly comfortable in my "man skin" and other times when I prefer to be Elise.

I'm in my mid fifties and I've been a closet cross dresser for about 45 years. When I was younger I wished I was a girl, but there weren't a lot of transgendered resources back then, so I never considered transitioning as an option. As a young teen, I felt that if I wanted to dress like a girl, then I must be gay. So I tried experimenting with a gay friend and quickly found that wasn't the answer. Still liking to dress, but definitely being attracted to women, I used to always joke that I was a lesbian trapped in a man's body. (That joke kind of turned on me though when my first wife had an affair with a woman [who is now her wife]).

Anyway, I consider myself a realist. I know that I can't go back in time and be reborn as a female. And even if I could, it would mean I would lose my children. I fully recognize that because of my physical size and features, I could never be "passable". And because I have family and a professional reputation that I must protect from the narrow minded majority out there, I could never dare come out of the closet. So, I really have no option but to remain a closet cross dresser. 

And I'm really okay with that. Being Elise let's me escape from reality for a little while and become a kinder, gentler, version of myself. I love the way I feel in women's clothes, and I enjoy trying to create the illusion of a pretty feminine version of myself. I often fantasize about being a real woman, but it's just that -- a fantasy. I then return to the reality I also love. The reality where I have loving children, grandchildren, brothers, sisters, parents, a career I love, etc.

And the male version of me comes in handy too. Just today I had to change the alternator in my car, and the bolt was so rusted that I needed every ounce of my 215 pound "man frame" to wrench it free. So having both of us around comes in handy!

Thank you EliseMichelle! Thank you, thank you, thank you! This was probably one of the most comforting things I have EVER read. With exception that my 1st wife left me for a guy instead of a gal, it is 100% identical to how I think and feel. It is so comforting to be confirmed that I am not the only one. Dont get me wrong, I do know that I am not alone in my feelings,, the short time I have spent exploring this community is comfort enough, but when I read what you wrote EliseMichelle, I actually teared up (joy, not sadness). Thank you again!

Quote from: EliseMichelle on January 05, 2018, 04:49:33 PM
Well, it seems I may be the first to answer who is completely comfortable with both sides of my gender. In fact, if I could have the power to shapeshift, I would alternate between my male and female forms depending on my mood and/or situation. There are times when I am perfectly comfortable in my "man skin" and other times when I prefer to be Elise.

I'm in my mid fifties and I've been a closet cross dresser for about 45 years. When I was younger I wished I was a girl, but there weren't a lot of transgendered resources back then, so I never considered transitioning as an option. As a young teen, I felt that if I wanted to dress like a girl, then I must be gay. So I tried experimenting with a gay friend and quickly found that wasn't the answer. Still liking to dress, but definitely being attracted to women, I used to always joke that I was a lesbian trapped in a man's body. (That joke kind of turned on me though when my first wife had an affair with a woman [who is now her wife]).

Anyway, I consider myself a realist. I know that I can't go back in time and be reborn as a female. And even if I could, it would mean I would lose my children. I fully recognize that because of my physical size and features, I could never be "passable". And because I have family and a professional reputation that I must protect from the narrow minded majority out there, I could never dare come out of the closet. So, I really have no option but to remain a closet cross dresser. 

And I'm really okay with that. Being Elise let's me escape from reality for a little while and become a kinder, gentler, version of myself. I love the way I feel in women's clothes, and I enjoy trying to create the illusion of a pretty feminine version of myself. I often fantasize about being a real woman, but it's just that -- a fantasy. I then return to the reality I also love. The reality where I have loving children, grandchildren, brothers, sisters, parents, a career I love, etc.

And the male version of me comes in handy too. Just today I had to change the alternator in my car, and the bolt was so rusted that I needed every ounce of my 215 pound "man frame" to wrench it free. So having both of us around comes in handy!

Yes. I also have been like you, Elise, except that I am a kind of cross-dresser in public. I wear skirts and heels while lecturing during the classes at my university. In summer, I wear bikini in the nearby beaches with my family and friends. So far, people around me have gradually been accustomed to my feminine appearance, far better than me, who less frequently see me everyday, only through the mirror. People are flexible, especially young people.

Crossdressing can give some satisfaction, but nowadays I just do not like wearing some types of men's clothes. My clothes or other fashion items should be at least unisex. I have body hairs, and I have already removed nearly all of my facial and leg hairs, and at least reduced armpit and bikini area hairs. I love the variety of women's fashion items. They are far more funny and exciting to wear and show off. It is a kind of between a confirmation of gender identity and a hobby.

barbie~~