I'll keep it short and sweet. I have a child age 5 (not blood but brought him up till 6months ago) I'm no longer with his mother as I could no longer be with a woman and the relationship was toxic but I'm still part of his life and see him 3 days a week. I'm worried me going through HRT and eventual reassignment will affect him a lot but I can't live this way any more it's driving me crazy what should I do any advice would be greatfully received and if there's any one out there in the same boat how's it been?

Many thanx

Jenx

Young kids are normally very accepting. Keep it simple and tell your child that things will remain the same and you still love them. Normally they will only ask a few questions and that will be all there is to it. It's only when they are older that there tends to be more problems.

My concern would be with your ex. Kids are generally very accepting, unless they are given a reason to not be. If your ex is talking bad about you, then your kids will pick up on that.

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Hi Jenny,

I've got two young children 3 and 6(just). They live with their mum,  but see me most weeks,  including staying at weekends.
I started living full-time 6 months ago,  and we told them then.
My youngest (girl) has adjusted very well,  she regularly asks me to paint her nails, and thinks 'daddy' having boobies is quite amusing!
The eldest (my son) did struggle. My Ex and I arranged weekly 'play therapy' sessions for him; we started these before we told them, and I think they helped alot in accepting the changes. 6 months later,  he seems much happier with things,  and we've finished his therapy sessions.

I'm also a member of a couple of FB groups purely for trans* parents. These are a good place to get tips and support too.

Please PM me if you have more questions.

Megan. X

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I have a 4 year old and she adjusted pretty well and see me as a woman. She knows the doctor made me a woman because I was sick. She loves me for who I am and if anyone tell her I am a man she corrects them. I did start transition when she was 2 years old. Don't let the guilt of letting them down get to you it did get to me until I saw that she loves me as a woman and for who I am. Also that I am a much better parent now than what I was.

Over 2 years ago i slowly began socially transitioning and About a year and a half ago I told my daughter. At the time she was 5 and it seemed that the only concern was what that ment in terms of my relationship with her. Simply put I reassured her that my love for her will never go away and that I will always do what I can to be there for her. Over the next couple of months she asked a few questions here and there that were simple enough to answer. She then began outing me on a somewhat regular basis. This may have been due to the way I approached it with her. Explaining (in 5 year old terms) that it is what it is and there is a long road between me now and a better me. She has actually explained it rather accurately to adults that look at me and go "wow she really has a good grasp on this" that being said my favorite part of it all is when I randomly hear "my daddy's a girl!" and I dare anyone to defy her perspective... It's actually amusing. She has done this less and less as she has actually taken (by her own choice) to calling me mom more frequently. I hope this doesn't scare people in any way. Just sharing my experience this far.

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I have teens. They have not been surprised, but we have an open minded relationship in the family. We talk about LGBT rights and civil rights.

My sister's son who is 5 was told by my sister that I feel like a boy. He said I look like a girl because of my chin. But if I feel like a boy, that is okay too. He loves us very much and comes to us often when he needs a break from his siblings.

Small kids are simple and accepting. I guess teenagers can be harder if you have not hammered in LGBT and civil rights in their mind from start. Every human's equal value and the right to be who you are.

Unfortunately I have taught my 12-yo to argue at the same time. Everything is a debate. But I believe that is a good thing in the long run. Noone steps on him unnoticed.


Tony

Thank you all so much for sharing your advice and experience. I don't feel great about it still but I do feel a bit better hearing how well it can go. At the end of the day it has to happen or he wouldn't have me at all. My gender doesn't decide wether I'm a good parent or not I just hope I still get the chance. Thanks again.

Jenx

Quote from: JennyChilds87 on November 21, 2017, 01:17:28 PM
I'll keep it short and sweet. I have a child age 5 (not blood but brought him up till 6months ago) I'm no longer with his mother as I could no longer be with a woman and the relationship was toxic but I'm still part of his life and see him 3 days a week. I'm worried me going through HRT and eventual reassignment will affect him a lot but I can't live this way any more it's driving me crazy what should I do any advice would be greatfully received and if there's any one out there in the same boat how's it been?

Many thanx

Jenx

Shouldn't be toxic for the kid. Probably more healthier that the parent is honest and showing themselves, than lying. So probably the right decision.