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Were you 100% sure? Can you be 100% sure?

Started by Sinead, November 08, 2017, 03:00:41 PM

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Meghan

Quote from: TransAm on November 09, 2017, 02:10:03 AM
I've always been 100% sure--never been a doubt in my mind--that I was never meant to be a female. This doesn't mean anything, though, as everyone's experience is going to be completely different. Many of us can't pinpoint exactly what the issue is until much later in life and many of us don't really hate our birth gender so much as feel vaguely uncomfortable.

There's no right or wrong way to be trans: There is only your way.
That correct about trans person since no education about the subject, so every trans person will do things as it happens

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Meghan Pham: MtF Transgender, Transsexual, Transwoman, social justice, Caregivers, Certified Nurse Assistant
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Charlie Nicki

Quote from: Charlie Nicki on November 08, 2017, 06:04:55 PM
Even when you feel 100% sure like I do, any negative circumstances can make you doubt and wonder again if this is the right path for you, which I guess is a defense mechanism.

Funny how I wrote that less than 24 hours ago and it is exactly how I am feeling today. Life is a real bitch sometimes.
Latina :) I speak Spanish, English and a bit of Portuguese.
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Meghan

Quote from: Charlie Nicki on November 09, 2017, 07:52:29 AM
Funny how I wrote that less than 24 hours ago and it is exactly how I am feeling today. Life is a real bitch sometimes.
I was ponder about transition three years ago, and I just keep fight on my mind either I do or don't. Until I talk to my Therapist my mind got clear from all the cluster. I just do the transition

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Meghan Pham: MtF Transgender, Transsexual, Transwoman, social justice, Caregivers, Certified Nurse Assistant
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Charlie Nicki

Quote from: luanneph on November 09, 2017, 07:58:31 AM
I was ponder about transition three years ago, and I just keep fight on my mind either I do or don't. Until I talk to my Therapist my mind got clear from all the cluster. I just do the transition

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I am still going, but today life has made me go from 100% to 80 or 70% thanks to something that happened to me. It's always like that, it's annoying.
Latina :) I speak Spanish, English and a bit of Portuguese.
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Sinead

Quote from: Cindy on November 08, 2017, 03:08:07 PM
Hi Nina,

Are you exploring all of this with a therapist? It really does help to have someone to sound off against.

In my case when I finally made the decision that I had no alternative for my sanity and happiness I had no doubts. However it took a long time to get to that point.

So once I had accepted me I found being me to be the only option. Take your time getting to that point as you don't want to transition and detransition if you can avoid it.

No. I know that's what I need to do, but I wouldn't even know how to go about finding a gender therapist. I'm seeing a psychologist tomorrow, I was referred to one by my doctor when I told him I thought I may have been trans.

I feel as though I am trans, but I can't be 100% sure, I also feel like I'd be disappointed if I wasn't trans, I want nothing more than to be female, but I know by how bad my dysphoria was a couple of days ago that I'm definitely not cisgender
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jordn

Quote from: NinaW on November 08, 2017, 03:00:41 PM
It's been about a month since I realised I might be trans, I say might, because I don't feel 100% sure.
I wasn't 100% sure; I don't think anyone becomes instantly sure. It all happens over time. You just have to give it some time. Your feelings will become clearer. One month doesn't seem a lot to me. It took me a long time to gradually accept my true self.

Quote from: NinaW on November 08, 2017, 03:00:41 PM
I'm starting to think about coming out, or at least think about thinking about coming out. Were you 100% sure you were trans when you came out? I'm not, I don't feel like I'll ever be. Do you feel 100% sure now?
Coming out is a different matter, it depends on how much you care about other people. Personally, I don't give a damn about what anyone thinks. It's your life, you can whatever you want. Never let anybody influence your decisions.

Seeing a therapist will definitely help deal with gender dysphoria and depression.
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KathyLauren

Quote from: NinaW on November 09, 2017, 08:16:05 AM
I feel as though I am trans, but I can't be 100% sure,
QuoteI know by how bad my dysphoria was a couple of days ago that I'm definitely not cisgender
I am wondering how knowing that you are definitely not cisgender is different from being 100% sure you are transgender.  It seems to me that the two are the same.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2020-03-11 GRS; 2020-09-17 New birth certificate
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Sinead

Quote from: KathyLauren on November 09, 2017, 09:23:14 AM
I am wondering how knowing that you are definitely not cisgender is different from being 100% sure you are transgender.  It seems to me that the two are the same.

Maybe definitely was the wrong word, I just don't feel male, I haven't for a while. There's a little voice in my head constantly doubting whether I am trans, whether this is just a phase that will go away and I won't feel like this in a week or two.

I'm probably making you as confused as I am right now :embarrassed:
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Meghan

You need to talk to a Therapist to clear your mind, and it help you to decide if it is the phase or something else. My Therapist help me more than I ever realize.

Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk

Meghan Pham: MtF Transgender, Transsexual, Transwoman, social justice, Caregivers, Certified Nurse Assistant
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Sinead

I'm now at the stage where I'm thinking I am definitely trans. My dysphoria is literally all over the place, some days, I hardly notice it's there, some days it's not so bad, others, it's all I think about, on a couple of occasions it's been really bad, as in 'what is the point of life' bad.

Sometimes I'm content with being male, other times I feel really unhappy, but there's not a moment that goes by where I don't want to be female and I want to transition, surgery, voice therapy etc.
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Charlie Nicki

Quote from: Sinead on November 23, 2017, 08:32:15 AM
I'm now at the stage where I'm thinking I am definitely trans. My dysphoria is literally all over the place, some days, I hardly notice it's there, some days it's not so bad, others, it's all I think about, on a couple of occasions it's been really bad, as in 'what is the point of life' bad.

Judging by that alone I would assume you are definitely trans. I also felt the same way and didn't know why, I had everything yet life seemed meaningless.
Latina :) I speak Spanish, English and a bit of Portuguese.
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Roll

Quote from: Sinead on November 23, 2017, 08:32:15 AM
I'm now at the stage where I'm thinking I am definitely trans. My dysphoria is literally all over the place, some days, I hardly notice it's there, some days it's not so bad, others, it's all I think about, on a couple of occasions it's been really bad, as in 'what is the point of life' bad.

Sometimes I'm content with being male, other times I feel really unhappy, but there's not a moment that goes by where I don't want to be female and I want to transition, surgery, voice therapy etc.

That's how I feel a lot of times. I'm addressing the doubts (about the need to transition, not about being trans) as they come, and holding onto one key thought; This isn't going away, and I don't want this to turn into a failed transition story I tell 30 years from now when I finally do what I should have done now or sooner.
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MaryT

It is also possible to be 100% sure of being trans while being 0% sure of what to do about it.   Gender dysphoria is just one thing that can affect mental and physical health.  For example, how your loved ones react to your choices in this matter could also have an impact on your wellbeing.  I hope that everything works out well for you.
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Sinead

Quote from: Charlie Nicki on November 23, 2017, 10:14:06 AM
Judging by that alone I would assume you are definitely trans. I also felt the same way and didn't know why, I had everything yet life seemed meaningless.

It means so much to hear that someone else has felt that way, my life itself, is very good, however, I haven't been happy for years.

Quote from: Roll on November 23, 2017, 10:19:35 AM
That's how I feel a lot of times. I'm addressing the doubts (about the need to transition, not about being trans) as they come, and holding onto one key thought; This isn't going away, and I don't want this to turn into a failed transition story I tell 30 years from now when I finally do what I should have done now or sooner.

Sometimes I think 'it's not that bad' being a guy, but I will never be truly happy, or comfortable in myself. It's only been nearly 2 months for me, but the looking at girls and being jealous, chronic unhappiness and attachment to females. I don't feel this is going away and I can't get the thought of wanting to be female out of my head

Quote from: MaryT on November 23, 2017, 10:37:21 AM
It is also possible to be 100% sure of being trans while being 0% sure of what to do about it.   Gender dysphoria is just one thing that can affect mental and physical health.  For example, how your loved ones react to your choices in this matter could also have an impact on your wellbeing.  I hope that everything works out well for you.

The thing I am worried about at the moment is telling my family, it's not so much that they won't be able to accept it, because in time, they will, it's that my appearance will completely change but inside I'll still be the same person. I'm sure my mom knows I'm unhappy and at least wonders whether I am having crossgender feelings, I bought up trans topics quite a lot in the past couple of weeks - including me saying how I'd be absolutely fine if my niece (who's only 5 months old) decides that she is a boy when she gets older
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