Hello all,

Me: My name is kris, birth name Christopher.  The name never really fit, but now I have a new reason for that.  I'm 36, and I just fully realized this summer that I am trans (mtf).  I have some significant body dysphoria.  I also have extreme, chronic depression that I am currently getting treatment for via therapy and meds.  I'm an AP accountant with an MBA, but I wish I was able to be a writer of Sci-fi or fantasy.  Someday I'll get back to it.  I enjoy video games, reading, writing, playing with my son and wife.  I'm a fan of the new Marvel MCU, but I'm not discounting the newer DC characters.  The new Netflix and tv adaptations of the comics are particularly entertaining in my opinion.  If you wish to know anything else about me, please ask!

Discovery: I'm married to a very liberal, heterosexual woman, and we have a little boy. Over the past year or so, it became pretty apparent that, due to medical issues, we weren't going to be having any more children.  That got me to thinking about how much I really just dislike being a man.  So I asked myself the question: if I could magically transform overnight to female, would I do it?  I was finally able to answer that question "yes".  I think I've always felt that way though.  Looking back, there were many times I thought about switching bodies, wanting different parts, or being able to interact in social situations in different ways.  It seems like the biggest thing holding all those thoughts back from fruition just happened to be a drive to have kids.  Now that I have my lovely son, that is no longer an obstacle.

What I'm looking for:  I'm hoping to find some friends and some people to talk to (semi)regularly about what we're going through, especially during transition, which I'm pretty sure is happening.  Because of the depression, I've not really been able to make any friends both in my original state and my new home state of Massachusetts.  So, I'm sorry for being awkward, but I do promise I'm friendly and won't judge you too much, at least not out loud  If you have any interest in sharing/intertwining stories, especially if you live in Massachusetts, please feel free to reach out!

<3 kris

Hello Kris, welcome to Susan's!

I am MtF - I wasn't diagnosed with depression but I think I know why... that's because I hid from therapists and other professionals for a few decades.  The problem I ran into is I couldn't hide from myself.  I have learned a huge amount from others on Susan's and most important is I never feel alone.  During my initial stages of coming out I found the support network here was amazing.

Sounds like you have a lot going for you, and very fortunate to have a wonderful family.  I am glad you are tackling things directly and getting treatment for depression.  Quite a few members have found addressing their gender identity over time has reduced or eliminated the need for other forms of medication. 

I'll add information we provide to new members - things to save you time as Susan's Place is unique. 

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Kris, great to see you here!  Welcome.

Kendra

Hi Kris,
I hope that everything works out well for you and your family.  You seem to have what it takes to find happiness.  I hope that you get to write your fantasy, too.

Hi Kris,
   Nice introduction, happy to meet you. You are among friends here. Don't feel alone. I am so glad you are friendly, I am less scared talking to you that way. lol I am fairly far through transition, so if I can answer any questions, I would be happy to. Oh, my name is Moni short for Monica!

Here are some links to local support groups. https://www.susans.org/links/Local_Support_Groups_&_Organizations//North_America//United_States//Massachusetts//

Also Devlyn ,who is one of the mods, lives in your area. She can help you locate health care. I believe she uses Fenway Health.

Hi Kris 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Hiya Kris!

Hi Kris, nice to meet you!  I'm 37, and just beginning transition myself.  I'm still in disbelief sometimes, I've done my best to convince myself and others that I'm a "classic male" all these years, but as I've live more and more as my Cassie self I know that it's my truth.  The excitement and sense of peace with the realized truth is 5 times more powerful than the fear, for me at least.