Getting my name legally changed further proved I had especially difficulties with the social part. After that name change I feel I legally exist so that in itself got rid of almost 75% of my dysphoria. The constant nasty feeling I now realize I had in the background all the time, is just gone. I no longer feel like my skin is crawling backwards on me and I wanna strangle everyone who uses that sickening deadname that isn't me. With that, I'm now able to introduce myself (legally) as a guy. So even if I'm pre-T and don't really look like it, I at least have some sort of legal status/recognition as a guy because people must see it's a guy name. And they can't claim I'm a female/have a female name actually. I feel this GIANT PEACE for the first time in my life!!!
Deadname & chest were the worst ones for me. At least now I have a working binder again so feel hugely better about that too!!!
My body does bother me - and always has. I hate this chest so much!!! And I hate this female/eunuch body shape I have. So much. But in my mind I somehow picture myself as looking like a guy nevertheless, so unless I see myself in the mirror and have to face the facts, I can block all that out of my mind at least to some extent. When I'm home by myself I tend to 'forget' I look the way I look. With my spouse I'm fine because we've known each other for so long. After meeting some new people, I've noticed that even with other people it's sort of fine as long as they treat me as a guy. If just the outside world is able to see/treat me as a guy, I'm very happy & content.
I can't cope with the fact that generally people must see I have a female body, though. I also don't like having a female body even if people do treat me with respect. And seeing myself in a mirror always bothers me and reminds me. But as long as I'm just gendered correctly, I don't experience much dysphoria - so for me the social aspect is DEFINITELY much worse!!! Chest I can't cope with - but now that it's looking alright (with that binder), I feel relieved.
Also losing weight, working out, that binder plus knowing I will get on T and lose this eunuch existence eventually just makes me feel generally good!!!