Hi everyone. I was out last night doing some Christmas shopping and I stopped at Starbucks to get coffee. I looked up and this guy was gawking at me. It was a guy I went to school with.  He was also one of the guys who was so mean to me. I got my coffee and left as fast as possible because I really didn't need to be outed in Starbucks. He followed me outside and told me he wanted to talk to me for a minute. I told him I had nothing to say to him and he asked me to please just wait a minute.  He told me he wanted to tell me he was really sorry about how he treated me in school. He said he did it mostly because if he hadn't joined in with the other guys they would have turned on him. He said part of it was because he found me kind of scary. I told him he had been a football player and I really doubted he would find me scary. He said it wasn't that kind of scary. He told me I had confused a lot of the guys at school including him. He said I was pretty even back then and guys didn't know how to react to me, that if they found me attractive then they were afraid that made them gay and that scared them.

He asked me if I would forgive him and I told him yes. It does help a little for me to know why some of those guys were so mean to me but even so I still think they are dicks. But it was nice to get an apology even if it is really late.

That's a nice piece of news,  and very heartening this time of year.
I think there are some people in this world we'd be better off without,  but the reality is that most of us have our good and bad bits. X

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Well I am happy for you that he apologized, and yes that its unfortunately something that guys do it does suck guys, some guys even and up bullying cis girls because they are attracted to them. It can be a form of getting that persons attention. I agree it totally sucks and is cruel but at least he admitted it and learned from his mistake.

I agree that they are still dicks.  I don't believe that joining in bullying or jeering is the only way that teens can avoid looking gay or "sissy".  Bullying is traditionally regarded as a sign of cowardice, as no bully picks on someone he thinks could kick his ass, and bullies usually hunt in packs.  For some reason, most teachers do not emphasise and repeat that point.  (The "old" view was that victims shouldn't "tell tales" and should stand up for themselves.  The "modern" view is to regard bullies as "victims" themselves, which may be why teachers don't call them cowards.  Either way, the real victims are &^*%ed).  There would be fewer bullies if they knew that their peers regarded them as cowards.

At least he apologised, though, and his honesty about why he joined in the bullying has to be admired.  Well done for accepting his apology.

I wouldn't mind an apology. Mostly though, I was just shunned and alone. There are so many stories of people who've had it worse.

With an apology can come forgiveness, it doesn't mean that you forget. For someone to sincerely apologize means that they've come a long way from who they were or are trying real hard. They also deserve that chance to move forward.

my 2c

The thing about forgiveness is that it means you don't have to forget.

It was good of him to apologize, and good of you to accept the apology.  Well done on both sides.

Next step in your revenge would be to sleep with him so you really give him a reason to be scared of himself

Kidding I know you have a boyfriend (but you should totally do it if you were single).

Quote from: Charlie Nicki on December 13, 2017, 03:38:15 PM
Next step in your revenge would be to sleep with him so you really give him a reason to be scared of himself

Kidding I know you have a boyfriend (but you should totally do it if you were single).

Lol OMG. I've actually thought about that. Not with him specifically but with any of those guys who treated me so badly. The scenario I had in mind was to sleep with one of them and then tell them who I was. But for that to work the guy would have to fail to recognize me. That's not going to happen. People don't tend to forget me. But it would be fun to do something like that. 

Sounds like there were a lot of idiots at your school. And I thought mine was bad. I had a guy make fun of my nose for being big in front of the whole class and everyone was laughing even the teacher.

I still don't know what was so funny about it.. it hurt my feelings a lot at the time

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Quote from: dist123 on December 13, 2017, 06:04:52 PM
Sounds like there were a lot of idiots at your school. And I thought mine was bad. I had a guy make fun of my nose for being big in front of the whole class and everyone was laughing even the teacher.

I still don't know what was so funny about it.. it hurt my feelings a lot at the time

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That's horrible. My teachers didn't like me either and they always looked the other way when the boys messed with me. Everyone at my high school sucked!

Quote from: Julia1996 on December 13, 2017, 07:24:01 PM
That's horrible. My teachers didn't like me either and they always looked the other way when the boys messed with me. Everyone at my high school sucked!

I have similar feelings of my school.  I remember one time specifically I got teased to the point of crying by some football players when I was a sophomore.  I had a couple apologize to me later that week.  That time of life was the worst for me.  GD was the worst, my repression was the strongest, plus puberty pushing me in the wrong direction.  Never going back to see my old town/high school.

Still, glad one of your bullies has come forward to apologize Julia.  Revenge sex really sounds like a story I might read on Nifty.  Too dangerous in reality!

Bari Jo

The funny part is that guy that made fun of me looks like he's 30 years old and still in hs.. very creepy

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Quote from: Julia1996 on December 13, 2017, 04:12:15 PM
Lol OMG. I've actually thought about that. Not with him specifically but with any of those guys who treated me so badly. The scenario I had in mind was to sleep with one of them and then tell them who I was. But for that to work the guy would have to fail to recognize me. That's not going to happen. People don't tend to forget me. But it would be fun to do something like that. 

Apart from the fact that the bullies would recognise you and you would never cheat on Tristan, there is at least one reason not to go quite that far.  You are a beautiful woman by any standards, so the danger of actually sleeping with someone to get revenge is that he might still keep the smile even after he finds out who you are.

It should be enough that he WANTED to sleep with you, and you reminded him that HE used to bully you because he thought YOU were gay.  You could congratulate him for coming out of the closet.

Quote from: MaryT on December 14, 2017, 07:31:56 AM
Apart from the fact that the bullies would recognise you and you would never cheat on Tristan, there is at least one reason not to go quite that far.  You are a beautiful woman by any standards, so the danger of actually sleeping with someone to get revenge is that he might still keep the smile even after he finds out who you are.

It should be enough that he WANTED to sleep with you, and you reminded him that HE used to bully you because he thought YOU were gay.  You could congratulate him for coming out of the closet.

That would be fun also. Lol.  I was kidding about sleeping with someone for revenge. I wouldn't ever do that. And you're right, I would never cheat on Tristan.