Quote from: Kc1058 on December 19, 2017, 06:21:21 AM
She feels betrayed to some degree and lied to. She feels that the last 16 years of our life has been a lie. I
I am very relieved that I have come out to her, I don't know where my emotions are- she has been crying for the last 2 days and I  haven't so much as shed a tear- and nothing makes me more sad than seeing the woman I love in pain, sad or hurt in any way.

It's going to be a long road I know- she did send me this last night, which tells me there may be hope for us -
https://theestablishment.co/im-so-glad-my-husband-told-me-she-was-a-woman-391c2b193aa

It might help if she knows and feels that you are sad to see her in pain. At least so she doesn't think you don't care if your relief is at her expense. It might seem minor or trite, but it helps make her feel like you are in it together rather than at odds. The article is a really good sign! Especially only a day or two in! Hoping the best for both of you <3

My single biggest hurdle and daily effort is insuring my wife that I love her, need her, I'm there for her, and I have no desire to look elsewhere. I am still me and she is still the one that I want beside me.  To my intense relief, It seems to be working.

The positive is that things she's seen in me in the past that she really liked and made her feel special have come more to the forefront with my change(s).

Quote from: gallinarosa on December 19, 2017, 11:18:28 AM
It might help if she knows and feels that you are sad to see her in pain. At least so she doesn't think you don't care if your relief is at her expense. It might seem minor or trite, but it helps make her feel like you are in it together rather than at odds. The article is a really good sign! Especially only a day or two in! Hoping the best for both of you <3

I've been letting her know as much as I can- that I hate seeing her cry especially when I'm the cause. The whole thing is really killing me. At this stage, nothing is minor or trite. Everything matters.


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To be honest it is possibly more common couples split and become friends from what I hear
However, there are loads of couples who do make it. It is an amazing wonan who accepts another woman in her marriage with the simultaneous loss of their husband.

I wish you all the best. Take it slow  and let her take it all in

Update- my wife and I had a long talk today. I laid everything out to her. She's staying and even going with me when I start HRT on 2 Jan. !
I am so happy!!! [emoji1380]


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Quote from: Kc1058 on December 20, 2017, 02:32:22 PM
Update- my wife and I had a long talk today. I laid everything out to her. She's staying and even going with me when I start HRT on 2 Jan. !
I am so happy!!! [emoji1380]


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good for you, and her. There will be ups and downs coming, weather them together. Keep communication open both ways!

KC,

  That indeed is good news. But do remember she just heard of this and it will  requires quite some time to process it all. Give her the love and space she needs to do it.

Hugs for you both.
   Laurie

Quote from: Kc1058 on December 20, 2017, 02:32:22 PM
Update- my wife and I had a long talk today. I laid everything out to her. She's staying and even going with me when I start HRT on 2 Jan. !
I am so happy!!! [emoji1380]


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+I am so happy for you

    bobbisue

Quote from: Kc1058 on December 20, 2017, 02:32:22 PM
Update- my wife and I had a long talk today. I laid everything out to her. She's staying and even going with me when I start HRT on 2 Jan. !
I am so happy!!! [emoji1380]

Yay! Tell her we say, "Hang in there!"

You already have an appointment to start HRT? Wow. Remember, that is going to be a lot for her to process with very little time. Be careful not to scare her away!

Good luck!

Quote from: Kc1058 on December 20, 2017, 02:32:22 PM
Update- my wife and I had a long talk today. I laid everything out to her. She's staying and even going with me when I start HRT on 2 Jan. !
I am so happy!!! [emoji1380]


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Fantastic what a great outcome...So happy to hear this is working out.

Wow you're all so brave to be married and take the leap of faith to transition. I feel like I have it easy in comparison

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KC, congrats.  Give that wife a big hug for me!

Bari Jo

Quote from: Kc1058 on December 20, 2017, 02:32:22 PM
Update- my wife and I had a long talk today. I laid everything out to her. She's staying and even going with me when I start HRT on 2 Jan. !
I am so happy!!! [emoji1380]


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That's wonderful!  I hope you two continue your love for each other.

KC just keep her in the loop to say and be honest and loving it will work out. It has for me

Hi I am glad things are working out with you and your wife

My wife almost left me last night. We are seeing "compromise" defined differently.
Right now, we're staying together and seeing if we can make it work. I think we're starting counseling soon.
I semi outed myself at work, just so I can know my best path forward there and how to go about it.
I'm not sure if you girls felt this way, but I want to tell the world.
I can admit that Kristin Beck is a hero/role model to me. I feel free for the first time in a very long time. [emoji1380]
I'm out to everyone in my house now. My 16 yo daughter is indifferent- she identifies as Bi anyway, so I kind of knew there'd be no real issue there. She's excited to help me with my make up. [emoji1383]‍♀️
My youngest son,19, is good. I thought he'd have the hardest time. If he is he's not showing it.
And just prior to writing this I came out to my mother via text- not the best way to go, but she deserved an explanation of why I've been so cryptic with he the last few days. We'll see where that goes.
Thanks for the continued support
-Christyn


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