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All about Jessica

Started by Jessica, December 20, 2017, 01:18:55 PM

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Jessica

Hi girls and boys 🙋‍♀️ We all here need to experience the right of passage called "hello, I'm new here"!  I missed that boat and need to get on board and as the header implies this is all about Jessica.
I'm a 61 yo trans-woman in the SF Bay Area.  Like many here, I recognized the thought of being a girl in my teens.  I had heard about Christine Jorgensen and it sent a shiver of fear down my spine, because I felt wow, cool, you can do that?  I wasn't sure about if I was gay or what....no resources really.  I felt I was attracted to both genders.  But I buried the thought of being with men.  Since I was sexually attracted to women also, l realized that finding love there was well worth it.  Met a woman that was a bit younger, naive and a bit of a tomboy.  We fell in love and raised 2 sons that are fine adults now.
I had a career in the construction field for 34 years, solidly working as a working foreman.  I enjoyed the challenge on many levels creating (in my mind) artwork in structure.  I was the one they went to when they didn't know how to do it.  I am proud of my team that helped me achieve my goals, no one can succeed fully on their own.  After injuring myself (off site) I retired to a new job of grandpa.  There is no better job than being a grandparent.
From the beginning to now I have experimented with aspects of myself in various ways.  My wife knew I was attracted to men from the beginning and after a decade or so, I asked her if I could check out those feelings.  She allowed it as long as I was safe and it didn't intrude on our time together.  I enjoyed it only as the "submissive" partner, but it didn't feel right.  The feeling that I should be a woman while having sex with men arose and it became the fantasy when with them.  That led me to examine my gender issues closer.  I feel that I have a woman's mind in a mans body and a mans body with a woman's mind.  I feel both emotions.  Gender fluid, and varies along the scale.  My thought on the matter is that everyone is somewhere on the scale between feminine and masculine and that any person is as individual as the next, no one the same.
In my decision to embrace my feminine side, I weighed out my options.  I had talked to my wife about feeling like I wouldn't mind being a woman.  She has agreed that I should start hrt to see if it was right for me.  So far we both have seen positive effects and I feel good just having the chance to feel more like who I am.  I haven't had very much dysphoria through the years.  I've had a good, happy life in my male mode.  So if I never can pass as a woman (but feeling that I am a woman in my mind) I will still be content.  I hope some day to be able to pass 100% though, that's when srs will be the order of the day.

Big hugs, Jessica 💁‍♀️



"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


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steph2.0

Thanks, Jessica. We've traded a few messages before, but it's nice to know you better!

Steph


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * Facelift and Lipo Body Sculpting at Ocean Clinic 6/13-14/2019 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019
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Laurie

Hi Jessica,

  I'm Laurie, Please let me say Welcome to Susan's Place ! ((Hug)) Come on it girl. Your story has a lot of similarities with mine with the exception of the male attraction. Oh there is an element of curiosity there in I wonder what it would feel like to be with a man in the submissive role only. I have no attraction to men with the exception of the unique equipment and only to fulfill my curiosity (though I suppose that could change)
  I agree with you about being a grandparent and the 17 years I was allowed to be one were great. I miss it.

  Anyway,  I'll add some links and information below that can help you get more out of our site. Please take time to become familiar with them especially the RED one as we are always getting questions that are answered there. LOL

Hugs,
Laurie
Global Moderator
Laurie@susans.org

Things that you should read



 
April 13, 2019 switched to estradiol valerate
December 20, 2018    Referral sent to OHSU Dr Dugi  for vaginoplasty consult
December 10, 2018    Second Letter VA Psychiatric Practical nurse
November 15, 2018    First letter from VA therapist
May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone



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Jessica

Quote from: Laurie on December 20, 2017, 01:41:01 PM
Hi Jessica,

  I'm Laurie, Please let me say Welcome to Susan's Place ! ((Hug)) Come on it girl. Your story has a lot of similarities with mine with the exception of the male attraction. Oh there is an element of curiosity there in I wonder what it would feel like to be with a man in the submissive role only. I have no attraction to men with the exception of the unique equipment and only to fulfill my curiosity (though I suppose that could change)
  I agree with you about being a grandparent and the 17 years I was allowed to be one were great. I miss it.

  Anyway,  I'll add some links and information below that can help you get more out of our site. Please take time to become familiar with them especially the RED one as we are always getting questions that are answered there. LOL

Hugs,
Laurie
Global Moderator
Laurie@susans.org

Things that you should read





Thank you Laurie.....now how do I post my avatar???  Lol

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


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Laurie

Jessica my dear newbie,

  I'll send you a PM and tell you where you can put your avatar complete with the instructions on how to accomplish it.

Hugs,
  Laurie
April 13, 2019 switched to estradiol valerate
December 20, 2018    Referral sent to OHSU Dr Dugi  for vaginoplasty consult
December 10, 2018    Second Letter VA Psychiatric Practical nurse
November 15, 2018    First letter from VA therapist
May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone



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V M

Oh my, Hi Jessica  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's Place  :)  Glad to have you here still, join on in the fun

Thanks for posting an intro. LOL  ;D

Hugs

V M
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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Megan.

Jessica, thank you for the belated intro post [emoji5].

I'll admit to a little jealousy in the wonderful  relationship you have with your partner, it's great the two of you are taking the journey of discovery together. I don't feel that journey ever really ends, rather it's how we grow as people; may you keep growing. X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

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Jessica

Quote from: Megan. on December 20, 2017, 02:30:45 PM
Jessica, thank you for the belated intro post [emoji5].

I'll admit to a little jealousy in the wonderful  relationship you have with your partner, it's great the two of you are taking the journey of discovery together. I don't feel that journey ever really ends, rather it's how we grow as people; may you keep growing. X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

Thank you Megan, I do recognize my luck.  But I think it's been a lifetime together (37 years) and treating each other with complete equality and respect that was the ticket for us.  We are people, humans that love.  That comes before gender and sex every time.

Hugs, Jessica

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


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big kim

Welcome from a Blackpool girl
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Jessica

Quote from: big kim on December 20, 2017, 05:02:37 PM
Welcome from a Blackpool girl

Thank you Kim!  I'm going to have to keep you in the closet from my son..... he's an Arsenal fan.

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


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Jessica

Quote from: Steph2.0 on December 20, 2017, 01:25:04 PM
Thanks, Jessica. We've traded a few messages before, but it's nice to know you better!

Steph

Thank you Steph 🙋‍♀️ I've been reading about your adventures.  It is nice that we all can feel free enough to bring others into our lives.  There is something, I think, akin to a group bonding here and I think it comes from that freedom to feel how we actually feel, no reservations.

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


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tgirlamg

Jessica...Welcome aboard sister!!! You have arrived amongst friends...

albeit, smart ass ones!!!... 😀

Seriously though my dear sister, I didn't know you were somewhat local geographically!... I am just south in the Monterey area... Let me know if you are ever heading this way and we can go cause trouble!!!

Luv Ya Girl ❤️

A 😀

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment" ... Ralph Waldo Emerson 🌸

"The individual has always had to struggle from being overwhelmed by the tribe... But, no price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself" ... Rudyard Kipling 🌸

Let go of the things that no longer serve you... Let go of the pretense of the false persona, it is not you... Let go of the armor that you have worn for a lifetime, to serve the expectations of others and, to protect the woman inside... She needs protection no longer.... She is tired of hiding and more courageous than you know... Let her prove that to you....Let her step out of the dark and feel the light upon her face.... amg🌸

Ashley's Corner: https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247549.0.html 🌻
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big kim

Jessica, can't find the reply to your PM. I follow 2 teams Blackpool & West Ham, both having a bad spell (again!)
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Jessica

Quote from: tgirlamc on December 22, 2017, 12:01:18 AM
Jessica...Welcome aboard sister!!! You have arrived amongst friends...

albeit, smart ass ones!!!... 😀

Seriously though my dear sister, I didn't know you were somewhat local geographically!... I am just south in the Monterey area... Let me know if you are ever heading this way and we can go cause trouble!!!

Luv Ya Girl ❤️

A 😀

Ashley that's sounds fun!  Next time I bring the RZR to Pismo, would you be up to a roller coaster ride?

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


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tgirlamg

Quote from: Jessica on December 22, 2017, 12:00:27 PM
Ashley that's sounds fun!  Next time I bring the RZR to Pismo, would you be up to a roller coaster ride?

Hey Jessica!

Such a venture would certainly bring back memories of my many years of work down here on the former Ft Ord... We used Polaris rigs a lot to get into a lot of the less accessible areas of the post to do haz mat remediation construction activities and military munition cleanup during my time there.... Okay... and have fun on the dunes too!!!!

Let me know when you are heading this direction sister!

Hugs!!!

A 😀🌻❤️
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment" ... Ralph Waldo Emerson 🌸

"The individual has always had to struggle from being overwhelmed by the tribe... But, no price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself" ... Rudyard Kipling 🌸

Let go of the things that no longer serve you... Let go of the pretense of the false persona, it is not you... Let go of the armor that you have worn for a lifetime, to serve the expectations of others and, to protect the woman inside... She needs protection no longer.... She is tired of hiding and more courageous than you know... Let her prove that to you....Let her step out of the dark and feel the light upon her face.... amg🌸

Ashley's Corner: https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247549.0.html 🌻
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Jessica

Quote from: big kim on December 22, 2017, 01:38:35 AM
Jessica, can't find the reply to your PM. I follow 2 teams Blackpool & West Ham, both having a bad spell (again!)

The way it sounds from listening to my son, Arsenal is in the same boat.  I root for NewCastle, because I like their ale.

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


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