What was the thing that finally made you do it?

Many people here have been in a limbo/waiting/in denial for years or decades - so what was the final thing then that finally made you move forward?


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For me - I think just panic. And not wanting to be older and older and never transitioned. Plus a positive chain of events in my life that led me here and to a point I'm finally able to do something about it. Read= hit a rock bottom and been climbing up from there since!

And obviously I'm not on T yet... But support from this site is the thing I'm now trying to get on it. I guess it could be said I kinda wish had been here earlier...

So panic & support is my cocktail!

Hey,
I guess for me it was that when I lived with my stepfather my dysphoria was crazy and any woman that I looked at i envied massively and would sink further into depression. This wasn't helped when i had a massive downpoint over not being able to be pregnant and then also the sexual abuse.
But the thing was that when I left I got into a job about 3 days later, and then with constant work and trying to move forward out of an abusive house the dysphoria went, like didnt have any problems at all with dysphoria. Skip ahead a week when things have started to calm and the feeling came back. So because i knew how crap i had felt previously with my dysphoria i went to see a therapist to be 100% it was dypshoria and not something else. So yeah thats what pushed me to therapy and in turn has made e resolute for starting hormones at the end of feb by saving and going private (uk based).
Much love

Mine was the denial and fear tearing me apart. Fighting it just ended up with me spending a month in a mental facility, so with time, I turned myself around, and accepted it. I'm now happier than I've ever been!

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Havent transitioned yet, so i probably shouldnt post here yet....

soo atm i suck at being a guy, not really doing anything with my life depressed/Angry/miserable/anxious just not living life no friends, no family really... (just mum), not going out much, but 1 day i was out, and i got misgendered, now this is not uncommon for me, but whats different is he hit on me because he thought i was a pretty girl, he hit on me in a hot way too borderline rude LOL but anyway, at the time it was happening, i was soo embarrassed and just looked down until he couldnt see me anymore, but when that awkwardness was over i thought about and thought just how hot it was to be treated like a girl like that by him, what wasnt good was they were saying no his a guy after he hit on me but w/o it was just one of those weird moments that kinda triggered my dysphoria that i had suppressed/repressed for so long/years and it seemed like after that it was Screaming at me

Lately its getting to a point where all i can think about is becoming female, not just wanting to be female, but becoming female... wishing it

Haha Christy you sound like me... only in reverse!

Glad you posted

The information that I could actually get something done about it. Before that I had no idea I could. They don't exactly advertise the fact in doctor's surgeries etc. that transition is something you can do if you ask for it. It's practically unheard of unless you know someone who has transitioned (I didn't) or hang out in trans circles IRL (I don't). It took a long time to get that information (the internet helped) and when I had it, I had already clicked that this was necessary. Before that I didn't know what the hell exactly was wrong with me or that there were any "cures", I just knew something was horribly wrong between my mind and body and I was living on the fringes of society never fitting in for some unfathomable reason, despite trying lots of things to fix it.

The other push is that I don't know how long the NHS is going to continue to support transition given its financial issues. I figured if I delayed any longer I might never even get on any treatment lists. My worst fear is that I'd never be able to get the top surgery or the hormones would dry up. The waits are getting longer and longer for new applicants so I'm lucky I got in when I did. I have a good chance of getting surgery soon, but it involved a 2.5 year wait, from my first GP referral.

Quote from: Viktor on January 18, 2018, 05:11:01 AM
The information that I could actually get something done about it. Before that I had no idea I could. They don't exactly advertise the fact in doctor's surgeries etc. that transition is something you can do if you ask for it. It's practically unheard of unless you know someone who has transitioned (I didn't) or hang out in trans circles IRL (I don't). It took a long time to get that information (the internet helped) and when I had it, I had already clicked that this was necessary. Before that I didn't know what the hell exactly was wrong with me or that there were any "cures", I just knew something was horribly wrong and I was living on the fringes of society never fitting in for some unfathomable reason, despite trying lots of things to fix it.

The other push is that I don't know how long the NHS is going to continue to support transition given its financial issues. I figured if I delayed any longer I might never even get on any treatment lists. My worst fear is that I'd never be able to get the top surgery or the hormones would dry up. The waits are getting longer and longer for new applicants so I'm lucky I got in when I did. I have a good chance of getting surgery soon, but it involved a 2.5 year wait, from my first GP referral.

Ive known for along time what was wrong with or atleast what might be wrong with me, ive also known for along time what the cure for this affliction is, its always been fear and other more family orientated obstacles getting in my way, What i didnt know was just how common it is and how its not always like how it is in the movies which is something i thought for awhile and i knew that wasnt me...... i also didnt know all the steps involved in changing genders and defeating Gender Dysphoria and have always been up until recently too afraid to research them

I also dont have any Trans circle or just any trans friends, ive never been sure  that even that is what i wanted.... TBH

I know what not quite fitting in anywhere feels like

Extreme anger.  Being jealous of 1/2 of the population was creating a situation where I was always angry.

Live free or die.

Quote from: Viktor on January 18, 2018, 05:11:01 AM
The other push is that I don't know how long the NHS is going to continue to support transition given its financial issues. I figured if I delayed any longer I might never even get on any treatment lists. My worst fear is that I'd never be able to get the top surgery or the hormones would dry up. The waits are getting longer and longer for new applicants so I'm lucky I got in when I did. I have a good chance of getting surgery soon, but it involved a 2.5 year wait, from my first GP referral.

OMG that sucks  !!!

Not nearly as much for me as it sucks for the newer referrals. It's getting worse and worse for them. Either trans care will have to have a bigger budget allocated to it by the government, or they're going to decide they're not important enough to provide more resources for. I think I can guess which one they will go for.

Getting my divorce finalized.  I couldn't go through the rest of my life as male repeating the same mistakes.  I would have'd always mourned my previous life and what could have been while still dealing with my growing dysphoria.   It was pretty obvious transitioning was the only path forward for me.

Stage iv cancer was my catalyst.  Once I beat that I seized the day!  No more putting things off.

-Three things:

1. Getting all muscular and manly at the gym (which I thought I wanted at the time) just made my dysphoria worse.
2. Thinking about suicide once made me realize my dysphoria was bigger than I thought.
3. Approaching 30. My goal is to live as a woman in my 30s, hopefully everything works.

For me it was my dad outing me. Once I realized he wasn't going to reject me I wanted HRT yesterday. He wanted me to get it done while I was young.  Within a week my dad had found a therapist and taken me to my first appointment with her. Within a month I had started HRT.

This world needs more dads like yours.  That is awesome.


For me I hit rock bottom.  I couldn't hide it any more, couldn't lie about it to myself any more, and was on the path to drinking myself to death.  I had an extremely severe anxiety attack and realized that I couldn't live this way any more.  That was about a year ago now.

Quote from: Colleen_definitely on January 18, 2018, 08:44:59 AM
...was on the path to drinking myself to death.

Well, now that you mention it, this applied to me, too.

For me it was a two step process. I was in denial for a long time. Some family issues came up where I felt that I should try to be a male role model for my nephew, and I just couldn't do that, that pushed me out of denial. Once I stopped fighting it, I felt so much better I started to think that I didn't need to transition. The second part which finally pushed me forward was a minor cancer scare, and relationship I had, that fell apart. I realized that while from my perspective I was putting everything I had into the relationship. Objectively speaking, I wasn't doing much of anything. I realized that it was taking every ounce of effort I had to be a really crummy boyfriend. So I decided that I needed to work things out. I'm at almost 5 months hrt now.

I havent transitioned yet but my motived going foward are that i dont want to look back at this time 5 or 10 years from now with any regrets. I know if i do nothing about it now then i will kick myself. I would have been better if i could come to terms with this 20 years ago but i cant let that hold me back.

ummm I guess you could say it was gout for me lol.

I was drinking every night for 5 years straight and it finally caught up with me, I got gout and I had to stop drinking to be able to take medication for it. After a month of being sober I realized that I was thinking a lot more clearly, the last few years had pretty much been a haze, and if these thoughts of my gender dysphoria were still with me when I was thinking at my clearest then they were going to be with me for life and I needed to do something about it. Once I talked to a couple friends about it that set everything in motion, I started to see a therapist and I started exercising regularly.

If I never got gout I'd probably still be drinking every night and I'd still weigh around 300lbs. Over the last year I drank less than 10 times and I now weigh under 200lbs!

Quote from: Charlie Nicki on January 18, 2018, 07:51:30 AM
-Three things:

1. Getting all muscular and manly at the gym (which I thought I wanted at the time) just made my dysphoria worse.
2. Thinking about suicide once made me realize my dysphoria was bigger than I thought.
3. Approaching 30. My goal is to live as a woman in my 30s, hopefully everything works.

That number 2 really crept up on me. I know its not a subject that many will talk about or ammit but i bet it goes though alot of peoples minds when thinking up all the options going foward