I've bough some women's clothes online on ebay now.
I just bought my fourth lot from the same person and we have had some nice online chats.
After this purchase the seller asked if I would be interested in buying some homemade bracelets for Easter in case I have a daughter.
So, I'm honest. I tell her I wish I could get pregnant but that will never happen as I am trans.

She initially seems okay with it saying how it must be difficult and I think hurray, I can tell people and they treat me the same.
They suddenly it was all business,  like I was no longer someone she could talk to.

I'm still me! I'll always be me! Just because I have stupid man face and body hair doesn't mean I am not Katie.

Feeling a little frustrated :/

For everyone who doesn't get it, I encounter more than a hundred nice people.  Unless we are living stealth, we are all ambassadors  for the community.  And we are going to encounter rejections.

Transitioning has changed me very much for the better.  As a guy I could be an impatient, uptight  jerk.  I am far more serene and pleasant as me, so I just try to let my personality shine through and win the day.  Most of the time it works.

Human nature being what it is, there will be folks we cannot reach.  It's okay to cry a few tears for them.  However, the small victories will far outnumber the losses, and those victories we celebrate.

Being only four months on the HRT journey, but living full time I find that 99% of the people I meet are genuine and seem to respect my decision to be me. There is a small minority who are close minded enough to be unable to accept me, but so what? I know I don't 'pass' I don't care. Its not about fitting into restrictive norms, but living an honest and open life. If people can't accept that they can go and.... :p

I'm a much better person this way, because I'm me, not some shell to present want people want to see. I'll never go back to that restricted and miserable life.

I think for a lot of people they aren't able to separate appearance from personality. Because someone's appearance has changed they seem to think the person's personality has changed as well. I think maybe the reason the lady became all about business was maybe because she doesn't really know what to say and she doesn't want to risk offending a customer.

Quote from: CallMeKatie on February 20, 2018, 12:02:56 PM
I've bough some women's clothes online on ebay now.
I just bought my fourth lot from the same person and we have had some nice online chats.
After this purchase the seller asked if I would be interested in buying some homemade bracelets for Easter in case I have a daughter.
So, I'm honest. I tell her I wish I could get pregnant but that will never happen as I am trans.

She initially seems okay with it saying how it must be difficult and I think hurray, I can tell people and they treat me the same.
They suddenly it was all business,  like I was no longer someone she could talk to.

I'm still me! I'll always be me! Just because I have stupid man face and body hair doesn't mean I am not Katie.

Feeling a little frustrated :/

Katie, you have such a pretty face - not stupid at all. I know many cis women who'd be happy with your looks. As you continue on, especially if you get on HRT, you'll become more of a butterfly than ever. Remember, dear, butterflies don't stay in the chrysalis forever!


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Transition does change us. Not just physically but mentally, emotionally.  And it's all for the better.  I'm happier now.  Less prone to getting angry.  So those that are not close to you will only see the physical changes while others will see both. 

I think there is a change, but it for yourself and many around you it will be a positive change.  It made me happier which made those around me happier.  Some won't ever get it, so they may be lost to you.  You didn't really need that type of person in your life anyway.

I am sorry sweetie but there will always be people like that. As we become more visible and as people adjust to us and learn, face to face in real life, that we are not what they thought, we can hope that it will get better. Familiarity will change the way we are viewed in other words. However... it will not end completely, not in this lifetime. Ask any gay, lesbian, racial minority, person with a deformity, visible birth defect or whatever if there are people who treat them different. In the army I knew a girl with a large birthmark that covered most of one side of her face and a little bit of the other, she was beautiful but she had that birthmark, it was shocking for me to see how some people treated her.

I don't want to remove hope, really, I want you to live as happy a life as has ever been lived, I just think that is better to face some things than to act like they don't exist. Then you can move on. As you become more and more passable it will fade, there is that. It is why the lure of complete stealth is so compelling and I will never hold it against anyone who goes that route if they can. Even without complete stealth though, not everyone needs to know.

So here is the way I look at it for me. Most people do not know, most will never know there is no reason for them to. The people who I get close to all know, some of those I will regret telling but it hasn't happened yet, and it might never with the ones who currently know, but sooner or later I will tell someone and wish I hadn't. It is a risk that I am willing to take to not live under the pressure of a lie. I don't want to live in fear of losing it all if it gets out. Truthfully though, I am not ashamed, why should I be? I will never again live that.

There are people who know that treat me differently, not many but they do exist. I get together on a regular basis with a large group of people who all know. For all of them I am one of the girls, I have known them for more than a year so the feeling out stage is long over and I have settled in where everyone knows I belong. Half of them are very religious too. With familiarity the similarities become more important.

Lol, I am having a hard time putting it all together today. Sorry.
One, this is everything for us when we are starting out in transition but we don't need to share it with everyone. Two, as we get better at expressing our gender fewer people will figure it out. If someone knows though, there always be the risk that will treat you like that.

Now let's move past us. I have experienced a similar reaction many times, enough that I had to reevaluate how I processed it. Had to look beyond myself. We are learning, spending massive amounts of time learning to do what we are expecting everyone else to do being surprised with no experience, how to communicate and how to relate. Is it surprising then that they have a problem?

I gues what I am saying is, try not to let it bother you.
Hugs