Quote from: Lyric on February 21, 2018, 12:07:23 PM
This is an odd and sad situation you seem to be in and it's unfortunate others here are the same. You have complete disdain for your genitalia, but you are not seeking SRS? That part alone is worrisome. You really need to discuss this matter with a therapist. You would be best to aim for a situation in which you can love and enjoy your genitals one way or the other.
While it may be possible to have a fairly temporary situation like Julia's, it's really asking a lot of a romantic partner to entirely avoid your genitalia indefinitely. That's not the way romance and sex tend to work. I think rather than looking for such a partner, you need to come to terms with yourself somehow. Get help.
The surgery is too invasive for me. I would be too terrified to go for SRS. I am terrified of anaesthesia and knifes.
I'm happy to have breast augmentation because they can perform it under local anaesthesia. Same for FFS.
SRS would require general anaesthesia.
I cannot come to terms with having my penis interacted with. I hate erections and I would hate it if someone touched it. Having my penis touched is out of the question. That penis feels like a male thing and I can't enjoy having it touched. Only if I'm playing with myself but not if someone else is involved. When I'm alone I feel less dysphoric about it because it Fortunately shrank a lot. It's so tiny now that I can try to imagine that it's not a penis. Having it touched by someone else would leave me crying and massively dysphoric.
So Yes, I know it's strange, I'm massively dysphoric about my genitalia but I can't go for an SRS.
I'm happy with what hormones do for me, I am thrilled to get breast implants and facial feminization surgery asap but srs feels like too much like an emotional recovery for me.
Better to not go for SRS and live happily or mostly happily as a non-op woman, than becoming a depressed mess post-op because I couldn't handle the harsh recovery.
SRS is major surgery and it's not for everyone. I still get a lot of happiness and satisfaction out of my life as a non-op woman and genitalia are only a dealbreaker in the bedroom, not in my day to day life where no one sees them. I'm following my heart and my mind and both say : " don't " when it comes to SRS.
I don't feel less trans for not wanting SRS. If there was a magical vagina button to get a vagina without pain or recovery, I would push it, but that button is not there. I wear a vaginal prosthetic and I tuck a lot to avoid it as much as possible. I hate erections but erections are only happening in the morning.
I am doing what my heart says.
Going on hormones gave me a reason to live again, to finally become the person that was inside of me all that time. SRS only changes the appearence of your genitalia and since I have little interest in sex and focus more on romance, friendship,... where my genitalia do not play a role.
The right person will find a way to make it work. A little creativity goes a long way.
I'm a happily transitioned person and I want to keep it this way. That's so much better than if I would go for SRS and later deal with regrets of not being able to handle the harsh recovery, dilation,...
Dysphoria treatment is a process in which you go only as far as you need to. After BA and FFS I'm done and can happily move on with my life.