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Started by Ms. Bee, February 24, 2018, 10:29:34 AM

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Ms. Bee

February 24, 2018, 10:29:34 AM
Hi, I am new to the site. I am 32 years old born male at birth. I came to the realization that i am transgender 11-2016. I feel like i am a male with a female brain. I do not have much body disphoria but I feel my life would be more complete (love-life, friends, social etc) if i was in a female body. I believe people can pick up that I am not authentically male.  At 19 I was convinced I was gay after denying it or fighting it so long. Growing up my school peers called me names like "->-bleeped-<-got" "sweetums" so I tried to macho up. My mom even put me in groups with other boys like boy scouts to help me develop of a man. It all makes sense now looking back which bring mixed emotions. I started seeing a gender therapist here in Jacksonville FL 4-19-17 so coming up on my one year anniversary. I dress up on the multiple weekends to run errands and do social testing at the advice of my therapist. That all went well. When i dress up I always get attention from men which i adore. I did my first social outing new years eve at a bar at the beach and was asked to dance by another guy. Don't know if he knew or not. I reached down after a brief bump and grind and felt he had a hard on. Then I thought he'd want to take it further so I told him it is after midnight and I am going home. I also went to my church one Sunday in full woman attire, however because of anxiety I left soon after service ended. I would like to start hormones at some point to enhance my look. I am on anti-depressants currenlty and hope the hormonons will balance me out and enable me to get off. It seems like mtf trans people battle depression a lot during their transition. I was on mines way before but maybe that i why I have to take them. I have my first consultation with a endocrinologist March 2. My therapist wants me to be ready before I start hormones because he said there is no turning back. My biggest fear is reaction from others at work and family when I go through with this. I believe a greater life awakes as a female. Hope this post is not too long. If any of you have any advice or words of wisdom for girl not full time please share. Thank for listening
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Jessica

#1
February 24, 2018, 10:54:27 AM
Hi Ms. Bee 🙋‍♀️ I can relate to your lack of body dysphoria and having a female oriented brain.  For me it's a matter of needing hrt to balance my mind and feminize my body.  After 8 months I've only experienced one excursion in public, but felt very comfortable.  I was surprised on how most people payed no attention or seem to care.  Someday I will make a larger step when I'm farther along.

Smiles, Jessica

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."

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V M

#2
February 24, 2018, 04:04:03 PM
Hi Ms. Bee  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's Place  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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ChrissyRyan

#3
February 24, 2018, 04:05:35 PM
Hi Ms. Bee,

Welcome!   :)


Chrissy
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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