I know what it's like to have a sword of Damocles hanging over your head. It starts to be all you can think about. Your life revolves around it and you start to wonder what the point is in anything when it can all be taken away. Or worse, it falls before you get the chance to do what you want to do.
But if I can share one thing I learned through trying to deal with it, it's this: Our time on this world isn't measured by the amount of days in a life. It's measured by the amount of life in each day. All of us could be dead at the drop of a hat. We could get hit by a bus, or contract something unpleasant, or any number of different things. To live in fear of our own mortality, and become resigned to the inevitability of it, is to give up everything that you're capable of. Everything that you still have inside you. The second you decide to do that is the second you stop living, even before anyone has said a word. People are worth more than that. Capable of more than that.
Deserving of more than that.
Cindy, Laurie, and everyone else who's dealing with this... I know your state of mind. I know that it feels like you're just treading water, waiting for someone to tell you that your life will soon be over. My advice to both of you is to prepare for the worst... make sure your affairs are in order... and then go on to live like you don't give a damn. Life is what you make it, not what it makes you. Do the things you want to do. Now more than ever. Let it motivate you, not resign you to an existence in a waiting room. Be who you want to be and do what you want to do.
This is all easy to say. I know it is. I know the emotional rollercoaster can be often unbearable. But I always looked at it this way: What do you have to lose? If you're already expecting the worst then what do you have to lose by just doing as much as you can? Living life the way you want to? Forget waiting around for the end. When the end comes, make it a fitting epilogue to an amazing story.
